I’d missed this, his lips, the taste of his saliva, all of it. I sucked on his tongue with intention, taking my time to rediscover everything I’d craved for nearly five months. Somehow, it tasted even better now.His groans, as always, fueled my confidence. I moved to his lips, and for reasons I couldn’t explain, felt the urge to suck on his bottom one. I did slowly, gently—until I tasted blood. He winced, pulling back.“Sorry,” I whispered.But he only smirked and pulled me back in, his hand gripping the nape of my neck.Right now, he wasn’t distant. He was tangled in my arms, completely wrapped up in me. And I loved it. Every bit of it. It turned me on even more, making every inch of my body acutely aware of his touch.I reached for his belt, fumbling with the buckle. The position we were in was ridiculous—it almost made me laugh. But I guess that’s what happens when Noah Wilson makes love to you. You become obsessed, willing to twist yourself into the most uncomfortable angles just
AprilI’d been on a mini book tour since the year started. Chicago was the last stop, and today I’d finally be heading back to New York.I thought I saw him once — or maybe I imagined it. It was probably because I was returning to the city. Knowing he was there and I couldn’t reach him… it haunted me.He’d blocked me on everything. The finality of it hurt more than I wanted to admit. He was really gone. And even if I told myself I was happy for him, that he was moving on — the regret still pressed heavy on my chest.“Mrs. Wilson?”A voice pulled me back to the present.I blinked, turning to the young woman across the table. She looked expectant, clutching a fresh copy of my book, waiting for me to sign.“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, trying to steady my smile. “What did you say?”“What inspired the book?”For a second, my throat closed up. I opened my mouth, then paused.It was a fictional story. But so much of it wasn’t.The tension, the secret meetings, the guilt, the ache of wanting
Noah DECEMBER It had been two weeks since she broke my heart. And somehow, it hurt more than I imagined it would.She hadn’t called. Hadn’t texted. Not once.I didn’t reach out either. She made herself clear, and for reasons I can’t fully explain… I didn’t want to be the one who begged.Deep down, I always knew this day would come. We weren’t built to last—not the way we came together. It felt too good to be real, too impossible to hold on to.She was too good for me. I just never thought we’d fall apart because of him.I thought she loved me. I thought we could’ve worked through it. We should’ve been able to.But I was right all along—She really did love him more than she loved me.I couldn’t work or focus. The apartment was a disaster, and for the first time in a long while, I didn’t even care enough to clean it.What made it worse was that she was everywhere. On the news. On social media.Smiling. Glowing. Standing beside him.She and Richard looked closer than ever, and every
I stared at the door Noah had just walked out of, confused and trying to make sense of his words. He was clearly upset, but not in the usual jealous way, it felt deeper than that. Different. Was it because of my dad?I couldn’t go after him. Not now. It would raise too many questions. So instead, I returned to the balcony, my thoughts swirling like the breeze around me.He’d said the ball was in my court. But what ball? What power did I have that he seemed so sure of?Then it hit me, his words echoed in my head. “People are starting to notice.” Who? My father?I wanted to ask Dad what he said to Noah, but that would only make me look more suspicious. So, I played it cool. Smiled. Mingled. Pretended everything was fine while I silently unraveled inside.Maybe later I’d go see him, explain things, try to smooth this out.The rest of the evening dragged on. I felt uncomfortable in my own home. My dad’s glances lingered too long, and whether it was suspicion or just my guilt acting up, I
NOVEMBER NoahIt’s a light shower—or maybe snow—falling this evening. I’ve sat in this chair nine times now, alone on Thanksgiving, since the day my mother died. Each year, I hesitate. But this time is different.Dianne invited me. And it’s hard to say no to her.I probably wouldn’t have gone if it weren’t for her. Truth is, she’s the only reason. It’s always been her.We had sex earlier today—just a quick one, rushed. As always, she was eager to head back home, talking about Richard and the preparations. So I didn’t get to hold her as long as I wanted.Now, I miss her already.I made up my mind. I was going.Dressed in a black tailored vest, sleeves rolled up to my elbows, I grabbed a bottle of wine and headed to the house.As I pulled up, the faint sound of laughter spilled from the dining room windows. The scent of roasted turkey—maybe something else Dianne had whipped up—drifted through the air. I stepped out of the car and adjusted my sleeves, taking a breath I didn’t realize I
Noah We’d just made love.Now we lay here, both of us still catching our breath.She felt so good today. I’d missed this — missed her.It had been nearly a week since we last touched, ever since Claire passed. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to give in again. But with her, it never takes much. She barely has to try. Her smile alone does it for me.The room is quiet now. I reach for my cigarette and light it, taking slow, steady drags. She’s tracing soft circles on my chest, her fingers moving without thought.It feels good. Calming.But underneath it, that same bitterness creeps in — the one that shows up every time I remember she’s going to leave.Leave my arms. Leave this bed. Go back to him.Why won’t she just leave him?I know they’re best friends now, but why does she have to stay married to him? Couldn’t they still be friends after a divorce?Or maybe she’s catching feelings. Maybe that’s why she won’t walk away.Is it the university thing? The contract? Hasn’t it been funded yet?I