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EVEN IF SHE CAN NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR IT
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2026-01-01 22:13:12
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FOUR SHADES OF DREY COULD FEEL HIM BREATHING HARD
Chapter 42Aurelia I was done waiting and done wondering and done letting fear hold me back from something I wanted so badly I could taste it.And tonight when I saw him I was going to kiss him and I didn't care if it was forward or if it wasn't ladylike or if it made me seem desperate because the truth was I was desperate, desperate for him and for his touch and for the feeling of being wanted that I'd only experienced once two weeks ago.I wasn't going to let fear control me anymore and I wasn't going to sit around hoping he'd eventually decide I was worth kissing again because I was worth it and I knew it and I needed him to know it too. The old Aurelia would have waited forever and made herself small and convinced herself she didn't deserve to ask for what she wanted but the new Aurelia, the one Drey had helped me become, knew better and she was going to take what she wanted even if her hands shook while doing it.He'd texted me earlier to meet him at eight tonight and said to d
FOUR SHADES OF DREY I'D MADE A DECISION
Chapter 41AureliaHalloween fell on a Thursday this year and the entire campus had been buzzing with costume plans and party invitations for the past week.But I barely noticed because all I could think about was Drey and how the past two weeks had been the sweetest, most confusing, most wonderful two weeks of my entire life. We'd been seeing each other almost every day but always in secret and always in places where no one else would find us and there was something thrilling about that secrecy, something that made every moment feel more intense and more precious because it belonged only to us.He never came to my classes and he never showed up in public places where people could see us together and at first I'd thought maybe he was embarrassed to be seen with me but then I realized it wasn't that at all.It was that he wanted to keep what we had private and protected from everyone else's opinions and judgments. When he picked me up it was always on his motorcycle with his helmet c
FOUR SHADES OF DREY EVEN IF SHE CAN NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR IT
CHAPTER 40Dreylen "I said, what if I don't want to do this anymore. What if I want out.""You don't get out." Dreyven's voice drops to something deadly. "We're brothers. We made a plan. You agreed to it. You don't get to back out now just because you caught feelings.""Why not?" I challenge. "This was your revenge plot, Ven. Not mine. I went along with it because you're my brother and I'd do anything for you. But I never wanted to hurt her. I told you that from the beginning.""Then you shouldn't have agreed to participate.""You're right. I shouldn't have." I look at each of my brothers. "But I did. And now I'm in too deep. And I don't know how to get out without destroying either her or us."Drayton sighs. "This is exactly what I was afraid of.""You're falling for her too, aren't you?" I look at him. "Don't pretend you're not. I've seen the way you look at her after training sessions. The way you talk about her progress like it actually matters to you."Drayton doesn't answer, bu
FOUR SHADES OF DREY WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT ANYMORE?
Chapter 39Aurelia "It's nothing bad," he adds quickly, reading my expression. "Just... I'm not perfect, Ari. I have things in my past I'm not proud of. Family complications you don't know about. There are parts of my life that are messy and complicated and sometimes I don't know how to navigate them.""I don't need you to be perfect," I say. "I just need you to be honest."Something flickers in his eyes. Guilt? Conflict? It's gone before I can name it."I'm trying," he says quietly. "I'm trying to be honest. About how I feel. About what this is. I just need you to know that my life isn't simple. And getting involved with me means accepting that there are things I can't explain right away."Warning bells should be going off in my head. This sounds like the beginning of a Julian situation—secret girlfriend, hidden agenda, elaborate lies.But when I look in his eyes, all I see is genuine conflict. Real emotion. Not manipulation."Everyone has complications," I say. "I'm certainly not s
FOUR SHADES OF DREY MY STOMACH DROPS. OF COURSE. THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING ELSE.
CHAPTER 38AureliaHe takes a breath, looks out at the pond for a moment like he's gathering courage, then turns back to me."I haven't been completely honest with you."Oh god. Here it comes. The part where he tells me this was all a mistake. That I read too much into his kindness. That I'm just a project to him, nothing more."A while ago," he continues, "I told you that you reminded me of someone I used to know. Someone I couldn't help. That was true, but it wasn't the whole truth."I want to say something but I promised to listen, so I dig my nails into my palms and wait."The person you reminded me of was me." His grey eyes are intense, vulnerable. "Three years ago, I was exactly where you are now. Broken. Hiding. Convinced I didn't deserve to take up space in the world."I hadn't expected that."I had everything, on paper. Money, family, opportunity. But I was drowning under expectations I couldn't meet. My family wanted me to be someone I wasn't. Strong. Cold. Unfeeling. And ev
FOUR SHADES OF DREY ARI, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING AND I NEED YOU TO JUST LISTEN
Chapter 37Aurelia "Ready?" he asked.I nodded because I didn't trust my voice, he opened the passenger door for me and I slid in and tried not to think about how my heart was racing.Or how his cologne was making my head spin or how this felt different from every other time we'd been together and I didn't know what that meant but I was too nervous to ask.He drove us out of the city, the sun was setting and painting the sky in shades of orange and pink and gold.I watched him instead of the scenery because I was trying to memorize the way the light caught in his grey eyes and the way his hands looked on the steering wheel and the way his jaw tensed when he was thinking about something he wasn't saying."Where are we going?" I asked finally."Patience," he said with a smile that was almost teasing and he reached over and squeezed my knee and then left his hand there. I felt the warmth of it through the fabric of my dress and tried to remember how to breathe.We ended up at a place I
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