LOGINLiv “I love you stupid amounts. You’re the only one who makes the noise in my head quiet. All the what-ifs and the exhaustion and everything just… stops when you’re like this.”He hugged me tighter. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”I don’t know what made me say it. Maybe the high from coming, maybe the way he looked at me like I hung the moon even with milk stains on my shirt. I blurted it out while my fingers played with the waistband of his pants again. “You can fuck me if you want. I’m serious. I took the extra stitch anyway. The husband stitch thing. I know you asked the doctor not to, but I told them to do it. For you. So if you want to, we can try. I want to feel you.”Kacy went still under me. Like, completely froze. Then he sat up a little, shifting me off his lap so he could look at my face straight on. “Liv. What the hell?”I blinked. “What? I’m offering. I thought you’d be into it.”He ran a hand through his hair, the one that had just been on my ass five minutes ag
Liv The door slammed behind Zoe and Mia so hard the whole house shook a little, or maybe that was just my brain rattling from another night of zero sleep. “Operation Give Liv Boobs a Break is a go,” Zoe had announced like she was leading a military raid, already buckling Sara into the double stroller while Mia wrestled Saphira’s tiny fists into the carrier. “We’re taking these gremlins to the park for at least two hours. Maybe three if they don’t scream the whole way. You two, do whatever adults do when they’re not covered in spit-up. Nap. Eat. Bang. We don’t judge.”Mia had shot her a look but grinned anyway. “Just don’t break anything. And Liv, if your boobs start leaking through the floor, text us. We’ll come back faster than you can say ‘cluster feeding hell.’”I flipped them off from the couch, but I was laughing because what else could I do? My arms felt like wet noodles after hours of tandem feeding, and Sara had been attached to me like a limpet since four a.m. The girls disa
Liv Kacy didn’t look convinced, but he let it go when Saphira started stirring against my chest. “I’ll take her for a bit if you want. You look like you could use ten minutes where nobody’s attached to you.”“Ten minutes? Dream big, soldier boy.” I handed Saphira over anyway because my back was killing me. “Just don’t drop her. Or if you do, make it look like an accident so I can sue the hospital for bad instructions.”He rolled his eyes but smiled, that soft one he saves for the girls. “Noted. No dropping.” Zoe and Mia took turns walking Sara around the living room in the carrier while I pretended to nap on the couch. Kacy handled laundry like it was a military operation, folding onesies into perfect little squares. Every time someone handed me a baby I fed, burped, changed, repeat. My nipples felt like they’d been through a cheese grater. My brain felt worse.Around eleven I snuck my phone into the bathroom under the excuse of a long shower. I locked the door, sat on the closed to
Liv Kacy stopped in the doorway with the water glass in his hand and that sleepy squint he gets when he’s not fully awake yet. “Liv? You okay?” he asked again, voice all rough from sleep.I muted the TV so fast my thumb almost cramped, but the damage was done. The screen went black right as the host said Rowan’s name one more time, but Kacy had already caught the tail end. He tilted his head, frowning. “Was that… wait, did they just say Rowan? Like your ex Rowan?”“Not my anything,” I snapped, too quick, too sharp. My heart was doing that stupid flip thing it does when I’m about to lie and know I’m gonna suck at it. “Just tired, okay? Hormones are throwing a full-on party in my brain and the TV decided to join. Pass the water before I die of dehydration or whatever.”He handed it over but didn’t move from the doorway. Sara picked that exact second to let out a pathetic little whimper from the bassinet, like she could sense the vibe shifting and wanted in on the drama. I grabbed her b
Liv Zoe and Mia piled in right behind us, arms loaded with grocery bags and takeout. “We got snacks, more snacks, and stuff that is definitely not hospital cardboard,” Zoe announced, kicking the door shut with her foot. “Also diapers because Kacy probably forgot the right size even with his tactical bag.”“I did not forget,” Kacy shot back, already unbuckling Saphira. “Size one, extra sensitive skin ones. See? Prepared.”Mia laughed and started unpacking food. “Sure, Mr. Tactical. Liv, sit your ass down before you fall over. We’re handling setup tonight. You just feed and exist.”I tried to help at first, but my body said no. I settled on the couch and let them buzz around. The first feed at home started okay. Saphira latched easy on one side while I held Sara on the other, trying the twin football hold the nurse had shown me. For about five minutes it felt almost peaceful. Then Sara pulled off, fussed, rooted around again, and went right back on. Cluster feeding already. She wanted
Liv I did it. I signed the last discharge paper with a shaky hand while the nurse stood there smiling like this was some happy milestone instead of me about to drag two tiny humans into the real world where I could actually screw them up for good. My stitches pulled every time I shifted, my boobs felt like they were about to explode, and my brain kept screaming that I was nowhere near ready. But the papers were done. We were leaving.The nurse launched into her final breastfeeding speech right there in the doorway, talking about latch and positions and cluster feeding like I had not spent the last few days learning all that the hard way. “Remember, with twins it can be tricky at first, but you’re doing great so far. Call if the soreness gets worse or if one seems to be eating way more than the other.” She said it all cheerful, clipboard in hand, while I sat there nodding and internally panicking because Sara had already proven she was the champion eater and my nipples were paying the
Liv They hooked me up to monitors, oxygen mask clamped over my nose and mouth because apparently my oxygen was tanking, and the doctor came in fast, face all serious. “Liv, we’re gonna do an ultrasound, okay? We need to see what’s happening.” I nodded, tears leaking out the sides of the mask, beca
Liv The visiting room was exactly as depressing as you’d expect, but I didn’t care about the chairs or the glass or the guard yawning in the corner. Joyce sat on the other side looking way too pleased with herself for someone in an orange jumpsuit, hair all messy but that same creepy smile plaster
~Liv~We talked a little more after that me ranting about how Joyce had this creepy way of making everything sound so logical, like “exposing Ava’s lies will set you free,” and Rowan calling her out as a total nutjob who probably needed therapy more than she gave it. It felt good, unloading it all,
~Ava~I was still riding that stupid, warm fuzzy high from the hug with Liv, both of us sniffling like a couple of idiots in front of the whole boat, phones out recording it live, people clapping like we’d just cured cancer or something when I turned around and there he was. Maddox. Leaning agains







