Chapter 9 Blake

Need.

That’s how I feel about Samantha. They need to be close to me. Not he has to say anything, he doesn't have to do anything, he doesn't even have to look at me, he doesn't turn to me, just to be next to me. What kind of action it is, I can't say, but it is what I feel and somehow, it doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, it calms me down, it works divinely on me. There has been no woman in the last four years whose closeness I wished. And now one appears and it must be my wife's brother. I don’t control my tongue and actually want to throw the blue one next to it tablet. Fuck, if a woman knew I was drinking that shit, the guarantor would run away from this one house. I don't want her to leave, because I need her to look, I need that confusion, that fascination, almost submissiveness as he looks at me and as he listens to me.

I want kisses and touches with her, everything that disgusts me from others which upsets me.

I know I can't get that. Un