Chapter 3

That evening, Lily came home. A faint soapy smell clung to her, the same scent that always lingered on Josh.

"Neil, you shouldn't have gone to see Josh on your own. I don't want today happening again. Josh scares easily. Don't go frightening him."

"Your father sent me," I said flatly.

Lily blinked, and irritation crept into her expression. "He told you to go and you just went? Since when do you listen to him?"

I was sitting on the couch, my father's medical chart in my hands. I glanced up at her. "Some things need to be settled, one way or another."

She frowned, clearly thrown by how cool I was being toward her. She came over, her eyes landing on the chart in my hands, and her tone softened.

"How's your dad doing?"

"About the same."

My father had kidney failure. He'd been on dialysis for two years now. Whatever else you could say about Lily, she'd never once been stingy about paying for his treatment.

She sighed and sat down beside me, leaning in like she wanted to rest her head on my shoulder. I pulled away without thinking.

Her body went rigid. Her expression soured.

"Still angry?" She tried again. "Neil, I know I handled things badly today. But Josh's still practically a kid. He's never had to deal with a scene like that before. I'll come with you to see your dad tomorrow, all right?"

I looked at her, dull and unmoved, and found nothing in her eyes but the urge to smooth things over after doing something wrong, not real concern.

"Fine."

My father had genuinely wanted to see her. Lily had been drifting from one bed to another for so long that it had been ages since she'd last visited him.

The next day, we went to the hospital. Before we'd even reached his room, we ran into Josh in the payment lobby, a fistful of small bills in his hand, wiping at his eyes in front of the cashier's window.

"Josh?"

Lily let go of my hand almost without thinking and strode over.

"What's wrong? Is it your brother's medical bill? Do you not have enough?"

Josh looked up, his face streaked with tears. The second he saw Lily, he took a step back.

"Lily, I... I can manage on my own."

"Don't be ridiculous. Where would you even get that kind of money?"

Lily pulled out her card without a second thought and pressed it into his hand.

Josh shook his head, pushing it back. "No, I can't take your money. Neil will get the wrong idea..."

"Who cares what he thinks, at a time like this!"

Lily's face was pure sympathy. She'd forgotten I was even standing there.

She took Josh's hand and pulled him straight toward the stairwell.

"I need to talk to you."

After they walked off, the people around us started muttering.

"Wasn't that woman just with this man a second ago?"

"Right? Why'd she run off holding some other guy's hand?"

"Tsk, guess the husband doesn't measure up to the lover boy."

I laughed at myself and, against my better judgment, followed them anyway.

The stairwell door was left ajar. Inside, Lily had her arms around Josh, her face buried against his chest, her eyes full of pain and tenderness.

"Josh, how much longer are you going to torture me like this?"

Josh's face twisted with conflict. "Lily, you have a husband. I can't be the other man. I have my principles."

"Forget your principles!"

Lily's voice broke. She reached up and kissed him.

The kiss was fervent, with an abandon I'd never once seen from her.

At last, their lips parted. Lily gripped his hand tight, her voice hoarse with pain.

"Josh, what am I supposed to do about you?"

Tears rolled down Josh's cheeks, landing on the back of her hand. "Lily, please don't come looking for me again."

"Don't say that!"

Lily pulled him close. "I won't divorce Neil. But my heart, I gave that to you a long time ago. Josh, don't push me away. Please."

I stood outside the door, ice cold from head to foot.

So this was love, at least the version she felt for Josh. Then what had these five years of marriage been? What had it meant, all those times Lily had gone to war with her own family for my sake?

Josh cried, pushed her away, and ran.

Lily stood frozen where she was, unmoving for a long time.

I choked back the sting in my eyes and turned toward my father's room.