CH 27

Saturday morning arrived, sunlight filtering through the gaps in the blinds. I pried my eyes open, met with a dull, throbbing ache behind my temples – not a full-blown, incapacitating hangover, but the kind that served as a sharp reminder of last night's poor decisions. Gin. Just one glass, I'd told myself. Clearly, one was enough to leave my mouth tasting like stale regret.

 

"I am slowly becoming an alcoholic" I muttered.

 

I groaned, rolling onto my side. My fingers fumbled for my phone on the nightstand. No new messages from Mateo. No missed calls.

 

Nothing but the cold, indifferent silence. I was getting pissed I haven't gotten a reply from my dad yet. 

 

I stared at the blank conversation, willing his name to pop up, a message to appear. Today was different, I told myself. Today I didn't have to plaster on a fake smile and pretend everything was fine at work. Today I could just... breathe.

 

Dragging myself to the kitchen, I filled the kettle and spooned coffee into the coffee maker. I made it strong.

 

While the caffeine slowly worked its magic, I had my bath and freshened up. Then, I scrolled through the morning's notifications – mostly junk emails and app updates, a few spam messages, and one automated reply from my dad's number that offered nothing but empty platitudes.

 

'We're sorry, the recipient is unavailable.'

 

 

"Shit head" I let out a short, bitter laugh that echoed in the small kitchen. Of course he was. Unavailable was his default setting these days. Not when he was married to that chic.

 

Had I always been the other woman? Never the first.

 

I swiped to close the message, my thumb hovering over the screen. Then a random G****e ad popped up, its algorithm knowing me better than I knew myself: Nursing positions available - Berlin hospitals. Competitive pay. Covers visa for international staff.

 

Okay, I did apply for lots for application a while back.

 

I snorted. Berlin again. 

 

Was the universe deliberately mocking me? I closed the ad, but the thought, once planted, took root in my mind.

 

I need out already. 

 

Then another notification pinged – my banking app. Salary deposit.

 £10,500.

 

My breath hitched. I blinked, thinking I must have misread the number. Opened the app, my heart pounding against my ribs. Read the description twice, then a third time, just to be sure.

 

"A whole month of doing nothing" 

 

It wasn't a fortune even even i felt i didn't work for it. But it was mine. Earned through long boring shifts.

 

Should I do something impulsive today or spoil myself?

 

 Without further hesitation, I went back to the nursing job website and filled out the online application for the Berlin hospital position.

 

 

°°°°°°°°°°°°

 

By five that evening, a nervous energy thrummed beneath my skin. I was ready, or at least, as ready as I could be. Showered again, hair styled in loose waves and a casual outfit. 

 

I ordered a cab through the app, watching its progress on the map as I waited impatiently by the window. When it finally arrived, I grabbed my purse and stepped outside.

 

"Really" I froze.

 

It was Ethan.

 

Standing across the street, partially hidden in the shadows of a doorway. Hands shoved deep into the pockets of his worn leather jacket. Watching me like he creep he was.

 

My stomach turned and a wave of nausea washed over me. He saw me 'see' him. A slow, predatory smile stretched across his face, a smile that didn't reach his cold, calculating eyes. The kind that let me know he knew he had me exactly where he wanted me.

 

I reacted before I thought, adrenaline coursing through my veins. Took two steps toward him, my voice rising, loud enough to carry across the street and shatter the quiet evening air. They could bring their phone for all I care.

 

"You are stalking me!! Get the fuck away from me, Ethan. I swear to God – come near me again and I'll scream until someone calls the cops."

 

He raised both hands in a gesture of mock surrender, his smile unwavering. But there was a flicker of something else in his eyes, a hint of anger that sent a shiver down my spine. No doubt he might kill me if he gets me alone again.

 

I didn't wait for a reply, didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me flinch. Turned sharply on my heel, marched to the waiting cab, and yanked open the door.

 

Locked the door with a sharp click, my fingers fumbling with the mechanism.

 

"Go, go, go," I urged the driver, my voice tight with anxiety.

 

He glanced at me in the rearview mirror, his eyebrows raised in concern, but he didn't ask questions. He simply put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb, leaving Ethan standing alone on the sidewalk, his gaze burning into my back.

 

My hands shook uncontrollably the whole ride, my heart hammering against my ribs. I stared out the window, the city lights blurring into streaks of color, but all I could see was Ethan's face, his chilling smile, the unspoken threat in his eyes. I aim to end that.

 

I spent the rest of the evening wandering aimlessly, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched, and how unsatisfied I was with my life.

 

A bookstore first, I bought a cheap paperback I didn't need. Let's just say I had hopes for the first chapters.

 

Then a café.

 

Then a park.

 

I sat on a bench beneath the spreading branches of a huge tree, watching kids run around, their laughter echoing through the twilight air. Dogs chased balls, their tails wagging furiously. Couples strolled hand in hand. I even them.

 

I thought about the money, it enough for my ticket to Berlin if I get the job.

 It could help me get a fresh start, a clean slate.

 

About leaving London, leaving this dead-end boring job, leaving him.

 

Yes, leaving Mateo.

 

Too much? He doesn't have to know.

 

I pulled out my phone, my fingers trembling slightly as I checked our last message exchange. I typed a message, then deleted it.

 

"I said he doesn't have to know" I told my phone.

 

Typed again, rewriting, editing, second-guessing every syllable.

 

"I'm sorry about the other morning. I was drunk. Maybe. Can we talk?" 

 

Sent.

 

Waited, my breath held captive in my chest. No reply. The three little dots that indicated he was typing never appeared.

 

I closed the app, I hate suspense.

 

Took a deep breath, trying to calm the frantic beating of my heart.

 

It might be funny how I have a plan and meeting Mateo tonight is one of them. Especially getting his dick.

 

A sudden surge of determination washed over me, a resolve to take control of my life, to stop letting fear dictate my decisions.

 

I called him immediately, my voice trembling slightly as the phone rang. He picked up almost immediately, his voice a low, husky whisper that sent a shiver down my spine.

 

"Angioletto?"

 

I took a deep breath.

 

"I am coming to your house. Now."

 

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, a desperate plea disguised as a demand. I needed to see him, to talk to him, to try and salvage what was left of our shattered connection.

 

There was a pause on the other end of the line. He didn't ask why. He didn't need to, maybe. He knew me too well, understood me too well.

 

"I will book a ride from your location. Please Wait," he said finally, his voice softening, a hint of tenderness creeping in.

 

I wasn't so surprised how he knew my location. Recently, I noticed he has a camera in my office, watching me. 

 

How creepy? But I love it. Only from him.