ch 23

Those words from Lucian kept circling back no matter how hard I tried to push them away. 

 

"When does she even die?"

 

My own son - twelve years old - already sounding like he'd swallowed every bitter thing his mother ever said about women who got close to me. 

 

I sat in the driver's seat with the engine off, drumming my fingers against my temple, trying to make sense of it. Where the hell was he getting ideas like that? 

 

Lately he's been... changing. 

Slipping cash out of my wallet when he thinks I'm not looking. 

Cursing under his breath when he's angry. 

Slamming doors. Ignoring me when I call his name. 

Acting like the whole world owes him something. 

 

I should have taken him avway from her. But that would be cruel, taking a child away from his mother. He deserves love but not this type.

 

I thought moving him away from Valentina would fix it. New school. New city. Me actually being around for once. I thought I could raise him better than she ever could. 

But apparently you can't scrub a leopard's spots no matter how hard you try. 

He's got her in him - that same sneaky, spiteful streak. 

And I'm starting to wonder if I'm fighting a losing battle.

 

"What if I just give her rgw child and visit?" 

 

I dropped my forehead against the steering wheel and closed my eyes. 

The garage was quiet except for the low hum of the building's ventilation. 

I should've told Bell everything that night on her couch. 

While she cleaned my knuckles. While she looked at me with those big worried eyes. 

 

I should've said: 

"Look, I've got a kid. Twelve. Not married to his mother- Valentina cheated - but I love him anyway. We were never married. Never even together like that. Just one stupid night twelve years ago that turned into child support, custody fights, and me trying not to let that boy turn into his mother." 

 

But I didn't. Because what if she looked at me like she didn't want any part of that mess? 

What if she heard "Lucian" and thought step-mother and ran? 

I'm not asking her to play mommy. I just want her. 

All of her. 

Even the parts that are scared. Even the parts that push me away.

 

I finally started the car. Drove to the office in silence. 

Ethan was already in the passenger seat when I pulled up - looking like someone had used him as a punching bag. Rope marks on his wrists. Bruise blooming on his temple. Grumpy as hell.

 

"What happened to you?" I asked.

 

"Small accident," he muttered. Didn't look at me.

 

I stared at the rope burns. The split lip. The way he held his ribs like they hurt to breathe. 

That wasn't an accident. 

That was someone tying him up and beating the shit out of him.

 

I almost laughed. 

"Rough night, huh? Some chick go full dominatrix on you?"

 

He glared at me for a split second. Didn't answer.

 

I pictured it - cuffs, whips, him thinking he was in control until he wasn't. 

The image was ridiculous. And kind of satisfying.

 

We drove the rest of the way quiet. My mind kept drifting back to Bell. 

Her face when she cleaned my knuckles. Her voice when she said "we can't keep doing this." 

Her body under that towel - soft, bruised, but perfect.

 

I wanted her. 

Not just to fuck. 

I wanted her laugh. Her anger. Her stubbornness. The way she fights even when she's terrified. 

She's nothing like the others. Nothing like Val. 

She's... real.

 

I got to the office. Nodded at people. Smiled when I had to. 

Kept looking for her. One glimpse. One smile. Anything.

 

Nothing.

 

I headed to my office. Set up the Zoom. 

Some bullshit about shipping costs and bulk orders. 

I nodded. Jotted notes. Pretended to care. Well I did care, it was my business.

 

"Good morning, everyone."

 

We talked numbers. Margins. Logistics. 

I pushed for triple the next order. They smiled. Agreed. 

Meeting ended.

 

Aisha came in with a file. Nervous. Shifting from foot to foot.

 

"Here's the recording and arrangement, sir."

 

I flipped through. "Good. File it."

 

She did. 

Then stood there. Awkward.

 

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

 

"I... I'll be traveling soon. For my sister's wedding. I've sent emails."

 

I sighed. "Approved. Go." I saw the emails just forgot to reply them 

 

She smiled. Turned to leave.

 

"Aisha."

 

She stopped.

 

"Tell Bell to come to my office."

 

She nodded. Left.

 

I leaned back in my chair. Pulled up the camera feed in her office.

 

There she was. 

Hair down. Orange dress I bought her. Sipping coffee. 

Looking tired. Beautiful. Mine.

 

I watched her too long. Watched her scroll her phone. Watched her bite her lip. Watched her stare at nothing.

 

My chest tightened. I felt like a creep. Well, just a concerned creep that watches with pure intentions.

 

I need to fix this. Need to tell her everything. 

Need to make her understand she's not just some fling. 

She's it. 

The one.

 

I closed the feed. 

Texted her.

 

**Come to my office. Now.**

 

Sent. I waited.

 

And hoped she'd show up.

 

Because if she didn't... 

I didn't know what the hell I'd do.