Six

Blair

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. A pale, dark haired girl with haunted brown eyes that looked enormous set against a face made gaunt from hunger and malnutrition stared back at me. I studied my sunken cheeks and chapped lips sadly, thankful that at least, the swelling was gone and the bruises mostly faded.

Grunge emo chick.

Mac’s words echoed in my head and I let out a sigh. To think my life had come to this, where a bastard like Mac Walsh could casually level insults my way and assume I was a drug addict because of my physical appearance.

Not that I blamed him, I did look exactly like he’d described, I’d give him that, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. I’d endured years of verbal abuse from Resse that I thought I’d developed a thick skin, but somehow, Mac’s words cut me deeper than I cared to admit.

My lips trembled as unwanted memories swarmed me, triggering tendrils of anxiety that tightened a vice around my chest squeezing until every breath was a struggle. I gripped the edge of the sink, head bowed as I gasped out each breath, willing myself to stay calm. I was thankful it was still early enough that most of the staff hadn’t yet come in so I didn’t have to worry about being overhead.

“You’ll be okay.” I whispered to my reflection, who stared back at me with panicked eyes. "Words can't hurt you anymore, you're stronger than this, you’ve survived worse. He’s just another horrible man in a world of horrible men, but he can’t hurt you, you won’t let him hurt you.You’re in control now”

I pushed back the tears that stung my eyes and hung my head. If I was being honest, I didn’t think I was in control. Sure, the worst of my injuries had healed and I was eating better these days thanks to the free lunch provided by the company and Avery’s habit of bringing enough donuts to work in the morning to feed an entire army.

At first, I’d been hesitant to accept when she’d offered me one, despite the rumbling in my empty stomach and the delicious tempting aroma. But it soon dawned on me that everyone in the office pretty much grabbed one too and so I no longer felt guilty when I took one as well. The real battle was holding myself back from scarfing down the pastry in one gulp, or going for seconds. In the evenings, if I left work early enough, I could grab a bowl of food at the soup kitchen.

My living situation hadn’t improved much though, as I sometimes missed out on getting a spot in the shelters since I was usually the last one out of the office, as locking up was part of my duties which meant sometimes staying in until 8pm. I didn’t want to complain to Lucy and seem like an ungrateful brat so I sucked it up.

Fortunately, I’d stumbled across a deserted cardboard tent in an abandoned building a few blocks from here - the previous owner had passed away recently - and I used it on the days I couldn’t get a warm bed for the night. My trusty sleeping bag helped stave off some of the chill and there were always some small fires started by the other occupants of the building where I could sit and get warm. On those nights, I barely slept, the fear of being caught made me too antsy to relax and the cold that seemed to freeze even my bones made me long to damn the consequences and shift into my wolf form so I could at least stay warm under my fur.

Before losing my ability to shift, I had always taken a lot of things for granted. Rapid healing, for one. In my wolf form, I would have healed in a matter of days rather than weeks, I could easily hunt small prey for meals instead of starving and I wouldn’t be so damn cold all the time. It was like my body had lost the ability to stay warm which I knew was a side effect of the loss. I’d never needed to huddle up in coats or wear gloves to stay warm.

Now, however, I finally understood how fragile humans are. It still shocked me at how weak I was without Trish. Colors looked less vivid, my sense of smell was so dulled that I couldn’t detect another Lorekind by their scent and my hearing was a mess. Not to mention the physical weaknesses.

I gave myself a shake and silently scolded myself for hiding in the restrooms sulking like a teenager. I gathered some water in my palms and carefully held it to my eyes, hoping the cool liquid would ease some of the redness. After carefully checking that I didn’t look like I’d been bawling my eyes out, I left the restroom.

I glanced at my watch and hastened my pace. I had to finish setting out the equipment for today, tackle the stack of new deliveries and a myriad other things that needed to be done before the others came in.

I always made sure I was the first one in every day, and it wasn’t just so I could do my tasks. When Lucy had taken me on a tour of the office, I'd been pleasantly surprised to find out that there were shower facilities in the restrooms and I'd taken full advantage of it. Every morning I'd make sure to be the first one in the building so I could take a blessed hot shower and get ready for the day before the others arrived.Oftentimes, Mac was the next to come in, though he usually ignored me and headed straight for his office. I was fine with that, since I also avoided him at all costs, except when I had to bring him his daily coffee.

My mouth twisted in derision. If he found my coffee terrible, he should have said something, rather than bad mouthing me to whomever had been on the other end of that call. He had no qualms insulting me to my face in any case.

Horrible man.

I huffed under my breath, he was totally not worth the effort of being in my head. I pushed him from my thoughts and turned the corner, only to run smack into what felt like a solid brick wall.

Pain flared up my side and I stumbled back, bracing to fall on my backside when a pair of huge hands shot out and gripped my upper arms, stopping my fall. I was jerked forward, my entire body pressed against a warm, hard body, my face mashed to his chest.

My pulse sped up, and my head swam as my body suddenly became a riot of emotions and I felt heat build up in me, so hot I was sure to combust, arousal turning my core into a pool of molten heat. My body sought to press into Mac’s on its own volition, seeking relief, pleasure, escape. I looked up, lips parted and hungry, my head falling further back until I could meet those glittering obsidian eyes.