Chapter 3

Leaning on the wall in his office, he looked out at the busy city below. I’m Ethan… I’m likely the most stupid man of all time. It became a painful saying that stayed in his thoughts and wouldn’t go away. Why? Because I married a person I didn’t love and knew she was a stupid woman.

Sarah had stolen his heart long before his parents planned for his future, and this made him feel close to tears. I was very fond of her before… But I still do so now. Flashbacks of what we shared came to me: kisses in the park, soft promises made while looking at the stars, and chats we shared late at night. Those memories seemed so far away these days.

His marriage to Lily had been an obligation, a decision made by his parents without his consent. They had arranged for him to marry her, believing it would solidify their family’s legacy. But to Ethan, it felt like a prison sentence. I don’t like her, not since childhood. He recalled how Lily had always been there, a constant presence that had kept his friends at bay. She had hovered around him, trying to win his affection, but all she had succeeded in doing was pushing everyone away.

And now she’s taking my love away from me, he thought, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. Lily was a reminder of everything he had lost, a living testament to the choices made for him.

Ethan's heart raced. For five years, they went through all the stages of their relationship while Lily’s presence loomed overhead. They frequently got into arguments over her because the strain of his marriage was getting harder for them to accept.

Caressing her hair, Ethan lay on the couch, shutting out everything else. He was about to kiss her when Sarah jumped up and pulled away his hand.

"I don’t get why you’re so upset, honey." Confusion could be read on his face when he looked at her and asked.

“Seriously, Ethan… There’s no need to play dumb,” Sarah told him through gritted teeth. She looked at him with sad eyes.

A heavy feeling of heaviness settled into Ethan’s heart. "Honey, I know you are upset because of Lily."

"You’re going to have to decide: me or Lily. Say it!” The things she said felt like the sharp edge of a dagger breaking through their intimate moment.

Ethan felt his stomach turn. "What do you mean? You know very well how much I love you."

“Then prove it,” she said, now shouting a little. "Why haven’t you divorced her by now? It’s been 3 years since your wedding. Or are you not considering divorce? Is it possible you’ve developed feelings for her, or was she responsible for taking you from me?" There was a rapid pounding in Ethan’s chest at what Sarah had said.

"Please, don’t over think it. You’re thinking of the wrong thing… The point is, I love you, and that’s all that matters. I never touch her, babe, I only love you and you know that." He tried to pull her into a hug with his outstretched arms. "So don't make me any longer. Come to me.”

Still, Sarah shook her head and maintained a steady look. "Nothing on this scale will happen now. I won’t allow you to touch me until your divorce from Lily is finalized."

Ethan felt a wave of frustration wash over him. “Babe…?” he started, but she cut him off.

“I’m serious… and get out now. Leave.” Her tone left no room for negotiation.

“What? Seriously? I’m getting frustrated right now, babe!” This baffled him completely. The earlier closeness they shared had simply disappeared, and they were now left with a cold and difficult reality.

"I'm not concerned about it. Just go to your wife now,” she replied firmly, getting up and walking out, making sure the door was shut.

He felt his anger and sadness building at the same time. He stood quietly, trying to make sense of all the mixture of feelings inside him. What he decided had a crushing effect on his spirit.

Giving an annoyed sigh, he picked up his jacket and walked quickly out of Sarah’s home. Cold air greeted him as he walked to the first bar, hoping to soothe his mood with a drink.

Entering the bar, he recognized the smell of whiskey and could hear the calm sound of people talking. Cool wood encircled his legs as he took a seat and ordered a glass of something. He let the bartender pour a shot of whiskey for him, then drained it all in a second, sensing its heat go down his throat.

What is happening right now? He wondered as his mind sped up. Her words from the fight were constantly repeating in his mind. He did love her, yet his thoughts about his past marriage were constant and kept things ashen over everything.

He drank some more, as the alcohol dulled any anger he had. Why can’t I stay with Sarah? It ate at his mind. He was stuck, torn between two places, and neither felt perfect to him.

Sitting in the corner, the sounds of the bar around him softly disappeared, and his mind drifted away. To him, everything he had done seemed like a mess, and he wasn’t sure how to get free. Although he truly loved Sarah, so was the obligation he felt toward Lily.

He stared into his glass and wondered what he wanted. He kept trying to find the answer, yet it was always just slipping past him. He realized that he created the chaos on his own, but had no idea how to get through the difficult waters.

Ethan ran a hand through his hair, feeling the weight of his choices pressing down on him. He had built a life around expectations, around the image of what a good son should be. But in doing so, he had lost sight of his own desires, his own happiness.

I’m trapped in this marriage, he thought, a sense of resignation washing over him. But I can’t keep living in this loveless meaningless marriage.

With one last glance out the window, Ethan steeled himself for the conversation ahead. He had to confront the tangled web of emotions, the love he still held for Sarah, and the frustration that came with being bound to Lily. It was time to take action for his own happiness, no matter how painful it might be for Lily or his parents.

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