Chapter 4

I held in my fist this crumpled piece of paper—the pregnancy result. Stunned by it, my heart was racing with the warmth of my belly with my evident fingers. Ethan is going to be a father — I am pregnant. The tide of reality washed through me so hard that sorrows burst out of my heart like waves.

“I have to inform him …” I mumbled beneath my breath with doubt overtaking. Tell him? Isn't he even aware of that night?!

It was around the time when everything was quiet, midnight, and their home felt hard to take. She put her arms around herself to keep warm as the night became darker.

She was pulled from what she was thinking when the doorbell rang. She felt a rush of fear crossing through her body. At this time of night, who could it be? She felt her heart speed up as she thought things over before standing from her bed. When she reached the door, she couldn’t help but picture various outcomes, yet deep inside she knew who was there.

Breathe deep, she opened the door, and her heartbeat sped up at what came into view. Ethan, her cold and hard husband, was there with an expression we couldn’t interpret and a body that seemed unsteady.

He did not say anything but pushed right by her and stumbled into the house. The heavy scent of alcohol suddenly filled the air and filled her senses. She suddenly realized he was drunk, and both worry and unease took over. She could see that he was in no control of himself, moving strangely and staring unthinkingly.

Lily unconsciously moved away from the door, feeling afraid inside. She held back as he tried to steady himself. All of a sudden, he mis-stepped and hit the floor with a big thud.

Her pulse quickened as she looked at her husband lying there, and her fear was pushed aside by a tiny spark of care. She thought to herself, he needs my help, and started to prepare.

Taking a steadying breath, she went to his side and trembled as she reached for him. Trying to stay calm, she said to Ethan, “Ethan.” “Can you stand up?”

He sighed and could only look at her with difficulty. Her arms held onto his broad shoulders, though her strength didn’t look like much next to his. She urged, “Let me help you,” pulling on the item as hard as she could.

She finally managed to get him to his feet after a few tries, and he was wobbling so she had to press up against him. His heat was not only entirely too warm to be comfortable; it made her feel a thousand million different things.

She took a deep breath and, with small, fear-steeped steps, took him to their shared bedroom. What if he snaps? The notion was making her crazy, but she pushed it aside, focusing instead on getting him to safety.

She guided him to the near edge of the bed, within it. He slumped onto it, the bed dipping as weight gave way. And out of the corner of her eye until he lay there, eyes closed, breathing heavily.

Both relief and dread rushed through Lily. She was about to turn and leave, but he held her hand and pulled her toward him, and she fell on his hard chest, lost in his blue eyes.

The mountain of questions in my mind built up and grew bigger. I collapsed on a nearby bench, the outside world dissolving as I cried. In my 3-year marriage, he only touched me once. I gave him my everything. Did he even remember?

Anxious for a hug, I took out my phone and dialed Mia. Once she answered, I dumped the whole thing: my fears, the dreams I had, and the life inside me.

Mia said, her voice calm and kind. "That is his child. He has to care. Who knows… this may make your marriage better. Maybe he will forget about that woman."

“Alright, I will tell him,” I stated, my voice final. “I will see this child born, no matter if he accepts it or not.” I ended the call and went home, tired but with my heart heavy with resolve.

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