Chapter 2 

 Caspian

The paperwork in front of Caspian was a disaster. The pack’s finances were in shambles, and he had no idea how his father had hidden the problems for so long. No wonder rival packs smelled their weakness, his pack had been blind to it.

The more he read, the angrier he became. His father had trained him to be alpha but never trusted him with the organization. Maybe that lack of order was why the numbers weren’t adding up. Some of the paperwork looked like gibberish, likely a code to protect his father’s interests. But now that he was dead, what good did that do Caspian?

The knock at the door was the last thing he needed. He had ordered no interruptions. Weeks had passed since his father’s death, and he still hadn’t gained full control. Not that he’d let his pack see that.

"Come in," he gritted out.

The door to his office opened, and in walked Austin Olivers, his second-in-command. The big, burly werewolf scoffed. "Still on that?"

Caspian sighed, shoving the papers aside. "I’ve given up."

"Good. There are worse matters at hand." Austin dropped into the chair opposite him, his gaze sharp. "There’s talk in the pack."

Caspian exhaled deeply, arms crossed. "This should be good."

Austin hesitated before meeting his gaze. "Some think you’re not strong enough to lead."

Caspian scoffed. "Maybe they should’ve thought of that when they failed to protect their last alpha."

Austin grunted in agreement before adding, "There’s one thing that might change their minds."

Caspian leaned forward. He already knew where this was going. "Say it."

"Many believe you’d be stronger with a luna at your side." Austin's face reddened, clearly uncomfortable advising his alpha. But it was his job.

Caspian clenched his jaw. Not now. Not weeks after my father’s death.

"They suggest choosing a she-wolf outside the pack, one that could secure an alliance."

Caspian growled, his throat tightening. "Do not tell me they mean what I think they do."

Austin’s sympathetic gaze was answer enough.

Caspian slammed his palm on the desk, making Austin flinch. Fury tore through him.

"I cannot believe my own pack would suggest I mate with the very bloodline responsible for my father’s death!"

The feud between Black Diamond and Moonstone was generations old. Lately, it had turned into war. Blood spilled. Lives lost. Caspian wanted peace, but not at the cost of sharing his bed with a Moonstone wolf.

"I meant no offense," Austin said, hands raised. "But you should take it seriously. The pack is talking."

Caspian exhaled sharply. "Do they really think mating and producing an heir will make us stronger?"

Austin shrugged. "Perhaps not. But it’s all they know."

Elbows still on the desk, Caspian dropped his face into his hands and sucked in a breath. "When did life become so complicated, Austin? Things were so much simpler when we were kids."

With those words, he conjured up memories from his past. He saw images of times playing in the meadows just outside the hollow with his best friend, watching Austin's adopted sister as she sat on the ridge, studying or sketching or even reading, just for the fun of it.

He had teased her often, putting her in her place just as his father had always reminded him to do with every pack member. Yet, when he thought of her, his memories were always much fonder than they were of anyone else.

 Not that he would ever admit that. Emotion was a weakness he could never afford, especially not now if his second's words were anything to go by.

"We grew up," Austin pointed out, and Caspian looked between his fingers to see him shrug again.

"That's easy for you to say,” Caspian grumbled. “You don't have the weight of the entire pack on your shoulders."

"No, but I have your complaining to contend with," Austin said with a laugh.

"Things were so much simpler back then," Caspian said wistfully, wishing again that he could go back to those carefree days. Without thinking, he blurted, “How is your sister, anyway?"

Austin raised a brow, clearly suspicious of the question. Caspian’s stomach twisted. He couldn’t remember the last time either of them had discussed Grace. In fact, he wasn’t sure she had ever come up in conversation without being in the general vicinity. What had brought her to the forefront of his mind right then, Caspian didn’t know. But he was about as suspicious about it as Austin looked.

He was relieved when Austin simply answered the question. “I haven’t heard from her in a long time, but when last I did, she was fine.”

Caspian wasn’t sure whether that answer was a relief or not. Just remembering how the woman had been there one day and gone the next made his insides twist up so painfully, he preferred not to think about it. 

He had never really understood it, and in truth, he tried not to. She-wolves had always been confusing creatures, Grace even more so with her lack of connection with her wolf.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Caspian snapped at his second, feeling mighty uncomfortable at the expression on his friend’s face. “It’s not the first time I’ve asked after your family.”

“No, but…” Austin began, but Caspian didn’t allow him the chance to finish. He already knew what he was going to say: It is the first time you have asked after Grace.

“I don’t have time for this, Austin,” Caspian snarled, growing more defensive. “I have business to take care of. If you’re just going to sit there, staring at me like that with no good advice, then would you just piss off?”

Austin smirked, clearly amused by his friend’s defensiveness. “Yes, alpha,” he said, rising to his feet and dipping his head. “I am sure you will howl if you need anything.”

“I will,” Caspian said through gritted teeth.

He watched his second go, but his skin began to crawl when Austin stopped at the door. “You will think on what I have said, won’t you?”

Clenching his jaw even harder, Caspian said, “I will.”

But in truth, all Austin had done was bring back memories Caspian had tried not to think about for a very, very long time. When he’d last seen Grace, she had practically been throwing herself at him, and all he had done was push her away. Just as he was pushing her adopted brother out of the door now.

It begged the question, ‘Why do I keep doing this?’

He knew the answer: his father had made him this way. Years of trying to live up to his father’s expectations, to be the perfect son and future alpha, had left him pushing everyone away in fear of showing any weakness.

The real question was, now that his father was gone, why did he still insist on pushing people away?

Caspian watched the door swing shut behind his friend. Though he felt the urge deep in his gut to call him back, he couldn’t quite open his mouth.

Will I ever be able to let anybody close? The thought struck him as he remained frozen to the spot, feeling lonelier than ever. ‘I must be the biggest fucking fool there is!’