Chapter 8

Ashina's POV 

“I don't think you have to, Vera.” My grip tightened on my thighs, as I held her gaze.

“What is she trying to make you leave?” Esmeray asked me. I was too stiff to even respond.

“I'll be the judge of that. Just make sure you stay clean. Warrick doesn't like mess.” 

“Warrick?” I asked.

She coughed, shifting her gaze. “Alpha Warrick, I mean.”

I nodded. “Noted.” 

“If you must pull any theatrics, make sure you don't mess the room up again.”

I rolled my eyes. “I heard you the first time, Vera.”

She smiled and walked towards the door. I heaved a sigh of relief as she held the door knob to open it. 

Then she paused and faced me. “Uhm. The Alpha has asked me to tell you to prepare.”

I blinked. “Prepare for your introduction ceremony tonight.” 

My heart thudded against my ribcage. My jaw dropped as I gasped.

“What?!” 

An image of me standing in front of Warrick's kinsmen and pack elders flashed before my eyes. 

Then worse, his entire pack flashed before my eyes with me standing on a stage in front of them as he announced me as his mate to be. 

My anxiety kicked in and I became sweaty.

“Vera, next time can you lead on that?” I asked her.

“Hm.” She looked away with her nose lifted and she went out, closing the door behind her.

I ran my shaken hand through my hair. 

I never thought of that? 

“I never fucking thought of the actual responsibility and new relationships that would come with mating Alpha Warrick.”

“Why are you so scared? Your fear stinks.”

“Esmeray, you don't get it. The pack I’d known all my life had made me a laughing stock. They ridiculed me for everything. I don't want to face another episode.”

Esmeray was silent.

“I can't face another hate and rejection.” I got up from the table as the back of my throat suddenly got bitter. I had lost my appetite.

I found myself before the mirror.

“Look at me. Look at me, Esmeray. Weak, wolfless—” I paused and laughed bitterly. “Well, maybe I have you now. But I'm still weak, I lost consciousness last night, didn't I?”

“You're not weak, Ashina. You just need to gain strength. You can be strong.”

I licked my lips, looking at myself as she said those words. But I could also hear the words of all those who'd mouth-sluttered me. 

“Wolf-less. Weak. Small.” I chuckled, “How do I move past all that?”

“By trying, Ash. By staying on the track and moving on. By believing there is more within you.”

My stomach fuzzed at her words. 

“More within me?” I asked. Then I sighed and walked down to the table. “Where have you been all along?”

“I was in you, just sealed up.”

Interesting.

I took the small knife and then picked an apple. “What sealed you up?”

“I don't know, I just felt locked away all these while. I saw all that was going on with you, but I couldn't help you.”

I sniffed, my eyes watering as I thought of how many times I was kicked on the gut and challenged to shift and prove I was a werewolf and not an infidel, like they called me.

“I don't want to cry,” I smiled, wiping the side of my eyes and then munching hard on the apple as if the sweet taste would lift my mood. “So, if something locked you away, what released you?”

She was mute. I pictured her pacing inside my head, like she was calculating something.

“What freed you, Esmeray?”

“He did. Our mate.”

I recalled the man behind the curtains. It was the moment he passed that I sensed him and followed him out.

Was he the one?

“Yes.” Esmeray answered my thoughts. “But I can't feel him around anymore. We don't even know who he is.”

“Enough of him,” I said out loud. Maybe I was tryin

g to shut him out of my head. I was not ready to start thinking of him.

“Enough of who?” Warrick's voice boomed ahead of me.