RIVER BROWNIt hurts.It also felt good. Felt feverish.The elders didn’t say it was supposed to feel like this. Like falling down a cliff and then landing on a pillow.Guilt curls its cold fingers around my neck cutting my air supply. My heart is thrashing against my ribcage as two men escort me to the car outside.I get into the car without any resistance because what happened a few minutes ago has my mind preoccupied.Shane hates me. I hate him too but why did he do that?Why did I like it? Why do I want more even though it hurts so much down there?Why do I want more even though every minute I spent listening to his words felt like I was being choked again?It shouldn’t hurt but it hurts.It hurts the same way Connor strangled me and looked me in the eye while he did it.It hurts the same way I thought Neo would visit me but he didn’t.My breathing is rugged, my dress is slightly torn at my right thigh and my smell…I smell like Shane, that monster, that bastard—A violent screech
RIVER BROWNXandar Khan is a man of influence.The noise outside this room says so and the pictures of him petting a lion in his office definitely screams Alpha.More than that? I don’t like Xandar, not when I entered his creepy domain and certainly not while he sits in his skull-designed chair that looks like a throne eyeing me like I’m his next snack.Shane didn’t look at me like that. Shane looked at me with…why am I thinking about Shane?I left him. I left them. I’m seated in front of their enemy ready to end them just to get what I want.“You are way prettier than you are in your photos”“Umm…thanks”, I say dryly.What photos?Xandar blows another puff of smoke in the air, his gray eyes scanning me the way his rogue betas glared at me when I arrived.“I trust that my men treated you well before they brought you here?” he asks with a slight furrow of his brows.“They killed an innocent man”, I accuse, Xandar cackles.“Wrong. Any pack member of the Moon shadow pack is an enemy. My
CONNOR KINCAIDX, X, Xandar Khan.The number of times I have imagined ending his life are as uncountable as the number of preys I have eliminated in my entire life.The only reason Xandar Khan was breathing was because Shane didn’t want a bloodshed years ago.Killing Xandar equals bloodshed equals war in New Hawk and as much as we love war. War disrupts peace, war makes the other colonies doubt our power to keep things in check.Today, however, we all know one thing’s for sure.X is a dead man. At least he will be when all this is over.Shane can barely keep it together and I have a feeling it’s because of what he found out today. What he found out before us.Before X and his amateur betas kidnapped River.Before River latched on to Xandar’s promises of destroying us. Before she betrayed us.“I’ll end you and feed your carcass to my dogs myself”The silence is still, we all know what that means.A jealous Neo has just said yes to the agni-kai. He took the news of X having River in hi
RIVER BROWNSummer was beautiful. With waters as blue as the skies where the Goddess resided, with the air smelling like leaves and dried flowers and all things pure.With the sun giving everyone hope that day had conquered night. Summer was my favorite season around the sun.Winter was ugly. Winter was cold. Winter was frostbite and freezing to death.Today, I liked winter.Winter was like Neo Kincaid. Like his blue eyes, like his warm smile, like his lilting voice all rough but caressing like a warm blanket.Two betas pass by me but I hide behind the concrete shivering like a leaf in a hurricane.My mind replays Neo. How he shifted into his wolf, how snowy white his wolf was, powerful yet so beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off him, tears pooled in my eyes when I saw him for the first time.Beauty couldn’t compare to Neo. His wolf was striking and in his blue eyes I could see him.I could see the man who offered to fight Xandar for me.I cheered when Neo’s wolf almost killed X’s wo
RIVER BROWN“Do you always drive like this?”He doesn’t say anything like he hasn’t said anything since he kissed my neck, ordered me to get in the car, sit on his lap while he drives us to wherever he is taking me.My hands circle his waist and my cheek rests on the cold surface that acts as skin on his chest.I’m sitting on his lap.He is driving us around. The whole atmosphere is tense.“What is it with you guys making women sit on your laps?”“When did you first learn to drive? Only Alphas drive cars in Brackenridge, women aren’t allowed to drive. I’d like to drive a car one day. A car without a roof, like the ones I saw in the newspapers back at home.Malia also wanted to- “I stop at Malia.I haven’t said her name or mentioned her let alone thought about her since I found her with Landon.She’s, my sister. My little sister. But the pain that comes with remembering how bad she hurt me when she slept with Landon doesn’t just go away in a week.“Sleep”, Connor orders taking a turn
SHANE KINCAIDBlood everywhere.Red painted like ink on my skin.My wolf is thrilled. I can hear him hum in delight.I stand proud and tall in the dawn watching my betas clean up the mess…my mess.“Everything’s taken care of, Alpha”I gaze at the kid. Jack if I can remember his name correctly. One of my new betas in the Moon shadow pack who looks up to the Kincaid brothers like they are heroes.What I did here today wasn’t heroism.“Go home, kid”“Of course, Alpha”Jack joins the pack and I watch as they leave in my company SUV vehicles.The air is cloying, choking even and in the midst of it all I should feel something other than the fire licking my skin and the anger mounting up inside me.I should feel remorse for ending so many lives today but I don’t.X had it coming.His betas had it coming.I pinch the cigarette between my lips throwing it somewhere on the ground. The feminine scent that hugs my back is almost as familiar as the nightmares my father left behind.I can hear her
RIVER BROWN“Want me to lick it better?”Connor asks as if he is asking me if he can have some English tea and not something as awkward as…“No!” my voice comes harsh. Connor doesn’t falter, doesn’t even acknowledge my no as something meant to keep him away from me.“Why not?” his voice tumbles down to a rumble. Like a bear waking up from hibernation in a cave.It’s absurd.“It’s wrong. Wrong for you…any of you to touch me”Wrong for me to crave any of you when we are not bonded at all.“Did Landon teach you that? That it’s wrong to be touched?”What? No.“It’s wrong to be touched by men who claim to be my mates when I don’t believe that in the first place”, I correct him.What I did with Shane was wrong. Forgive me, Goddess. Forgive me too for liking it.“I’m not going to fuck you, River not tonight at least. I want to assess the damage; Shane can be a brute sometimes”Maybe it’s the chocolate eyes.Maybe it’s because I want to sleep in his arms and regret everything tomorrow.Maybe
RIVER BROWNShane Kincaid was right. Curse him.I read books to Neo in the afternoon and stayed away from the ‘Grumpy pants’ downstairs.I also sat for hours in the huge library looking at the schools for werewolves in New hawk and they looked like a dream.I saw girls laughing with each other while carrying books and training for archery classes and I felt giddy over the prospects of going to school.Of having friends. Of starting over.Today I dared to dream. Goddess might have cursed me with three men and a life away from home but I could get my wolf if I went to school.For more than two hours, I stayed waiting for Connor Kincaid.Two hours later, Connor Kincaid is in front of me but everything feels wrong.“River”, Connor utters my name as he draws near to me.I’m seated at the couch but my feet tell me to stand up no matter how choking the air feels like.He takes another lengthy step into the living room and I raise my palm in mid-air stopping him.Our eyes collide, my heart wa