Chapter Six

I had arrived at school early that day, actually looking forward to seeing Ryan. I wore my hair down and straightened it again. I actually added just a touch of eye liner which was unusual for me. I didn’t want to seem desperate, but I also felt like I needed to be on Ryan’s level. There was no way I’d be wearing pink, but I could at least take some pride in my appearance.

“I can see the date went well.” Zak smiles at me as he takes his seat next to me.

I shrugged. “I may have had fun.”

Zak chuckles, but it seems forced. Something seemed off about him. “Look at you. You’re practically glowing! Did he kiss you?”

I turned to look at him, giving my most innocent look. “Maybe.”

An emotion I couldn’t quite place crosses his face but he quickly redirects it, flashing me a smile. Before he could say anything else, Ryan enters class a little late, but immediately heads in my direction. “Sit with us at lunch?”

I nod and he backs away, holding my gaze with a smile. Zak stays quiet the rest of class, not doing his usual back and forth banter. I wondered what was on his mind today. Did I do something? Surely he wasn’t jealous.

Was he?

When the class ends, Zak follows silently behind me and I finally work up the courage to ask him. “What’s your deal? You’re all quiet. Not that I’m complaining.” I say hoping to keep the mood light. 

He gives a small smile. “Nothing.” He says simply.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing.” To this he doesn’t reply but I was refusing to not get an answer. I grab his sleeve and hold him in place. “Spill. What’s wrong?”

“It’s not my place to say.” He says almost irritably. I raise my eyebrow, urging him to tell me. “Fine, I just… I have a bad feeling about that guy. I think you should be careful around him.”

“Ryan? He’s harmless.” I say automatically.

“That may be so,” He steps closer, “But I still don’t like seeing you with him.” 

What? Did I hear that right? He couldn’t mean what I think he means, right? He stalks off in the direction of our next class leaving me gawking behind him.

I managed to avoid talking to Zak the rest of the class and try not to notice how he stares at me and Ryan when we sit down at lunch. “What’s with that guy? It’s like he has an infatuation with you.” Ryan whispers, looking at Zak.

“He’s just a friend.”

“Are you sure? He looks kind of scary. I don’t like you hanging around him.” Ryan says with a shake of his head. Of course both of them didn’t like each other. Just my luck.

“Ryan, we’ve only just started talking. You’re not going to dictate who I can and can’t talk to.” My words come off a little harsher than I wanted them to. Why was I so defensive of Zak? 

“Woah, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just looking out for you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” I say, sighing. 

Ryan kisses my forehead. “Don’t be. That was my bad.” My heart squeezed. He was so sweet when he wanted to be.

I hear a tray slam down. Here we go. “Spread your legs for him that quick, El?”

I scoffed at Kelsey. “Excuse me?”

“I saw you leave the bowling alley with him. Did you do it in the back of his truck? That was where we first did it too.” She sits and smiles triumphantly as if that was something to gloat about. I look at Ryan for help but he just rolls his eyes and continues eating his food. Seriously? He wasn’t going to say anything to her?

“Sorry to disappoint Kelsey, but I don’t give in that easily. I know that concept is foreign to you as I’m sure you’ve fucked every other guy in this school.” I say harshly, my anger getting the best of me. Her jaw dropped, clearly surprised by my outburst. She grabs the milk on her tray and chucks it at me, the liquid soaking my hair and face, running down into my clothes. 

“Oops.” She says innocently. 

“What the hell, Kelsey?” Ryan says. He wipes the small amount that got on his jersey. He didn’t seem the least bit concerned with the fact that I was drenched. I stand quickly, desperately wanting to leave. “Where are you going?” Ryan asks.

“Home. I have a shift after school and now I need to shower.” I say walking away. I heard footsteps behind me and groaned. “I don’t want to talk, Ryan.” I said, once alone in the hallway.

“Good thing I’m not Ryan.” I stop at the husky voice.

“What do you want, Zak? Come to humiliate me further?” My voice is shaky with emotion. 

“I wouldn’t-” He sighs, redirecting his words. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I say simply, wiping some of the milk from my forehead.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“I can walk.”

“El-”

“What did you mean by that comment earlier?” I blurt out. My emotions were on high alert and I suddenly felt brave. 

“I- I don’t know what you mean.” He looks away from me, rubbing his neck.

“Don’t play dumb. Why does it bother you to see me with Ryan?”

“It doesn’t. I mean… it shouldn’t. Nothing could ever happen between us.” His voice falls to a whisper as he holds my gaze making me feel the weight of his words. I know I haven’t known him very long, but his words cause my chest to squeeze painfully.

“What does that mean?”

“Just that I’m not allowed to date.”

“Then stay out of my business with Ryan.” I say walking down the hall towards the doors.

“Wait! I didn’t mean-” He calls but I whip around.

“You didn’t what, Zak?” I demanded, my hands falling by my sides waiting for whatever vague answer he was going to give. He didn’t disappoint.

He snaps his mouth shut, and his face darkens. “Nothing. Nevermind.” He turns and heads in the opposite direction.

I shake my head, trying to shake the lump from my throat. I wasn’t a cryer and I didn’t plan on starting today. I push the heavy doors open and walk home, trying not to think about Zak, Ryan, or Kelsey. I was glad I would have the weekend to recuperate before seeing them again monday. 

I get home and take a long shower, taking advantage of the empty house. Dad wouldn’t be home for another couple hours. After fixing something to eat, since my lunch was ruined, I decide to go into work early, hoping for a distraction from today's events.

“Hey El!" I smile at Lea who seems happy to see me as I tie my apron around my waist. "You're not supposed to be here for another hour."

"I left school a little early." I explain, not wanting to share the details of my afternoon. I quickly braid my hair down my back to keep it out of my face.

"Well we're glad to have you here. Now I can send Hailey home. That girl drives me nuts." I laughed at her as she quickly scurried off to Hailey.

The restaurant was surprisingly slow for a Friday which left me ample time with my thoughts. A small amount of guilt had seeded itself in my chest and I knew I needed to apologize to Zak. I was more angry with Ryan for not standing up for me, but what did I expect really? We had only been talking for a few days and sure, the kiss might have been a big deal for me but I'm sure it was nothing for a guy like Ryan.

Lea walked past with a tray of drinks. "Hey. Table fourteen is asking for you."

That was odd. No one ever requested me specifically. As soon as I look over to the table I freeze. Of course it was him. As if he didn't already consume my every thought, Zak had to make an appearance at my work. I regained my composure, slowly walking over to him.

"Hey." I say softly. 

He smiles up at me, no trace of the anger he had at school. "Hey."

I hesitated in the silence, torn between asking him what he wanted to drink and what he was actually doing here. Fortunately for me, he spoke first. "I'm sorry about earlier."

I sigh, taking a seat across from him. "I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have taken my anger out of you. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I did though." He bit his lip a moment, stalling. "I led you on. I keep making advances when nothing could ever happen between us." He explains. 

"Why?" I ask before thinking, realizing how desperate I sounded. 

"It's complicated. There's only a few girls  my parents would allow me to date."

I lean back in the booth and cross my arms. "You're always so vague with your answers." I point out.

"Well I have to add to the mystery." He says smiling and leaning across the table. I roll my eyes but can't hide my own smile. 

"Is that why you came here? To apologize?" I ask.

"Not entirely." He says, "I wanted to make sure you were okay after everything that happened today."

I shrug. "I can handle Kelsey."

"Is it worth it though?" 

I smile, seeing his real question. "You mean is he worth it?" He presses his lips together but doesn't respond, giving me my answer. "I want to explore whatever this is with Ryan. I'm leaving at the end of summer, so I don't want anything serious. Ryan isn't the serious relationship kind of guy."

"And you think that a serious relationship would keep you here?" He asks.

"I'm leaving no matter what." I explain. "I don't want to start any relationships when they're guaranteed to end in just a few months."

"Why are you so adamant about leaving?" 

I hesitate. It was so easy for me to trust him and I almost blurted out my entire life story along with all of the secrets I've kept hidden, but I clamped my mouth shut. "I told you. It's a long story."

"I'd like to hear it sometime." His voice is soft and his eyes so intense that I feel my heart flutter. Zak sighs and lays his hands out on the table. "So you're not going to change your mind on Ryan?" 

"No. It's not complicated with Ryan. It's the perfect summer fling." I say with a small shrug.

"I get that, but with him?" I actually laugh at Zak as his face twists in disgust. 

"And who would you suggest?" I challenge, raising an eyebrow.

He thinks for a moment, clearly taken off guard. "No one." His answer makes my cheeks burn.

"No one?"

"I mean, I don't know anyone at school so I couldn't say. " He stumbled through his words making me believe he was lying. 

Feeling brave, I ask. "Do you not want me to date Ryan because you worry about me or do you just not want me dating anyone?"

He holds my gaze for a long moment, the atmosphere suddenly growing tense. "I told you I can't date." He says, giving me my answer.

"You did." I say leaning on the table, closer to him. I could see straight through him. I just wished he would give me a straight answer for once.

"I do worry about you. I don't trust him."

"But you also don't want me dating anyone." His jaw flexes as he becomes frustrated. "Just admit it." He looks out the window ignoring me. "Oh come on. Don't be mad." I see his lip slightly twitch into a smile but he forces it down. "Hey." I say reaching for his hand to grab his attention. The moment my skin meets his, I get the same sensation as last time. Fire and ice course through my body causing me to jump back, but my body still hums with delight. The feeling was magnificent, as if my body was dead before and had suddenly awoken. The stunned look on Zak's face tells me he felt it too.

"Must be static again." He mutters. 

The humming starts to fade. I desperately wanted to touch him to see if it would happen again. "That wasn't static." I stated confidently. This feeling was much, much different.

"Of course it was. Look, I gotta go. I'll see you in school Monday?" He says, quickly standing. I rush to my feet as well, not wanting him to go.

"You're leaving? Was it what I said? I'm sorry, I was only teasing." 

"No it's not that, I just have somewhere I need to be." With that he rushes out the door. Everytime I talked with Zak it only presented a million more questions about him. Maybe that's why I was drawn to him? The mystery was certainly alluring. I knew though that it would only get harder being around him. Something in me was being pulled toward him and the feelings that were starting to stir inside me scared me to say the least. 

By the time my shift was over I had talked myself into putting some distance between Zak and I. If I pursued things with it, it would absolutely ruin my plan to leave at the end of summer. I knew without a doubt that I would stay if Zak asked me to. That's why if I were to have any type of fling, it had to be with Ryan. Ryan was safe. He wouldn't want a messy, complicated relationship and would understand when I had to leave. At least, I hoped.