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Stealing His Girl Part 1
No, I'm not proud of this, and yes it is okay to read this in David Attenborough's voice since this is basically some Gorilla mating hierarchy type of stuff, but hey, we're all animals too.
Anyway back a few years ago I went to a university in Manhattan which shall remain nameless, but my friend from high school went to Pace. We used to smoke with his buddy, let's call him Jason, and got to be really good friends.
Sometimes Jason would bring his GF (call her Sarah) along when we went out to Piano/other LES bars that we could trade on her looks to get into. She was super nice and seemed for the most part really into him.
One night, Jason gets too drunk and starts shoving me for literally no reason, as drunk college guys trying to act tough in front of their girls are want to do. He was a good friend at this point (we'd been hanging out for three semesters) but I was also drunk and had told him more than once to cut it out. But he didn't, so I sort of beat him up
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She took a moment to collect herself then spun around and stood up. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for the "so do you just stick your tongue in girls asses" or some sort of playful feedback, but she just looked back at me and started to undo my belt.Reality checking back in, I painfully weighed ruining the moment but decided to ask her if it might not be better to go to my room seeing as our kitchen was flanked by two rooms filled with possibly awake roommates who knew Jason. She shrugged without looking at me, said nothing, and reached into my jeans to take an impressively firm grip around my pulsating erection.She pulled it out. I'm a giraffe and she was 5'2", so she used that to her advantage, angling her eyes up with that bratty look that I was so into, looking down only temporarily to spit on it, then just held eye contact in a staring contest while she stroked my dick in the middle of our kitchen where just about anyone could have walked in.I brok
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"Me too. Sooo the cops just showed up and are breaking this up…would you mind…driving me and my friend home?I stopped. Of course, I was going to say yes, but I didn't know how to interpret this. Did I just get friend-zoned? I didn't have time to overthink. "Yeah sure, lemme just get Jim back to his place too, he's kinda a mess.""Aww, you're so sweet! And thank you. I owe you one." With another coy smirk, the same from the interview. Again. Right over my head.We left in my 2004 Ford Taurus, Jim in the front seat, Jules, and her friend in the back. Jim only lived a half-mile away, but getting him back was no easy task. Jules ended up holding his head out the window as he covered the door panel with six bucks worth of Burnett's vodka and Mountain Dew. Sexy, I know. I got him home and through his front door and made him his parents' responsibility. Jules lived in the same neighborhood and closer to Jim than her friend, so I assumed I'd drop her off
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