005

OLIVIA

 I'd become an expert at timing my exits. I knew Christian's morning routine now, knew when he'd be in his office on conference calls, knew when he'd emerge for coffee. I planned my movements around him like some elaborate dance where the goal was never to touch.

Three days had passed since the introduction. Three days of living in a state of constant awareness, my body tensing whenever I heard footsteps in the hall.

Jenna had noticed nothing. Why would she? Her father was home early, working remotely for the week before heading back to New York. Her best friend was staying over like always. Everything was normal.

Except nothing was normal.

I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, hyperaware of the office door down the hall. Closed. Good. I could breathe.

“You're being weird,” Jenna said from the couch, not looking up from her phone.

My heart skipped. “What?”

“You've been jumpy all week. Is it the internship thing? Because I told you, my dad will totally write you a recommendation.”

"Yeah, maybe that's it." I twisted the cap off the bottle, and took a drink I didn't want.

“He used to be so welcoming, but I think the merger is stressing him out.” She continued, finally looking up with those same sharp eyes her father had. “You two haven't even really talked since he got here. It's kind of funny, you're usually good with parents.”

Yeah I was. 

But those parents hadn't seen me half naked, hadn't touched me in ways that still made my skin feel hot when I thought about it too long.

“He’s busy with work and I take no offense,” I said.

“Back to the business of the day, we are going out!” She squealed. “There’s a party at Kyle’s place and we are attending. No excuses.”

A wave of relief flooded me. 

At least I won’t get to see him for the rest of the day. 

“I’ll take a  shower quickly,” Jenna muttered before heading upstairs—leaving me alone in the kitchen. 

I downed the remaining water before following behind. 

But just as I reached the stairs, the loud slam of a door stopped me. 

I turned and our eyes met. 

Fuck!

I froze on the spot, my heart racing and somehow in the heat of that moment, my eyes still managed to rake over his body. 

 

He wore a plain unbuttoned shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows and chest exposed. Then his tight shorts that left me almost drooling at his tanned legs.

‘Get a grip’ I said to myself.

He had a phone pressed to his ear, nodding at whatever the person on the other end was saying. 

I took the hint to escape and was about to move when I heard his deep baritone voice. 

 “Olivia.”

I turned back to him. 

“I'll have Jenkins send over the revised contracts by the end of day,”  he said into the phone. He moved to the coffee maker, his movements easy and confident in his own space.

Why did he call me back?

Perhaps I should still leave ?

“Sounds  good. Talk Monday,” he concluded, setting the phone on the dinning. The silence stretched out between us, thick and uncomfortable.

His eyes were fixated on me, as if studying me and I swallowed hard, a shiver running down my spine. 

“Mr Hayes, you called,” I broke the silence, my voice barely a whisper. 

“Call me Christian,” he muttered.

I ignored that. 

“Is there something you want to say to me? I really need to go…now.”

He didn’t respond immediately and then; “We should talk, Olivia.”

“Jenna’s upstairs.”

“I know. Tonight, after she goes to sleep.”

My stomach dropped. “I don't think that's a good idea.”

“Probably not,”he agreed. “But we can't keep doing this. The avoiding thing.”

He was right. I knew he was. This whole situation was ridiculous, unsustainable. 

“Okay,” I said. “Tonight.”

He nodded, turned back to his coffee and I ran up the stairs  before either of us could say anything else.

~~~~~~~~~~

The party was exactly what I needed. Loud music, too many people, the familiar chaos of college socializing. 

I drank too much, too fast, allowed Kyle talk to me about his summer plans, danced with people whose names I couldn't quite remember.

Jenna kept giving me concerned looks.

“I'm fine,” I told her for the third time.

“You're acting insane,”

“I'm having fun.”

“I think you’ve had enough bottles in one night,” She pulled me away from the makeshift dance floor, into the slightly quieter kitchen. “Is this about that asshole, Ethan?”

I swallowed hard. I couldn’t possibly tell her I fucked her father three days ago….Ethan was the perfect excuse. 

“I’m still processing the break up, Jenna.” I finally replied. 

“Oh, my darling,” she said, pulling me into a warm hug. “You want to head out? We can watch movies, daddy bought some refreshments, one of which is your favorite ice cream.”

The mention of her father sent a spike of anxiety through me. I'd have to face him tonight, have the conversation he'd asked for. The thought made me want to stay at this party forever, consequences be damned.

“We are already here, Jenna. Let’s just have fun,” I heard myself say.

~~~~~~~

We got back to the house around midnight. Christian's office light was still on, visible under the door.  Jenna headed straight upstairs, exhausted and slightly drunk herself.

I stood in the hallway, staring at that strip of light.

I could go upstairs. Pretend I'd forgotten, or that I was too tired. Avoid it for one more day.

I knocked.

“Come in.”

He was at his desk, laptop open, papers spread around him. 

He looked tired, the professional veneer slightly cracked at the edges. When he saw me, something shifted in his expression.

“Hi,” I said, suddenly aware of how I must look. Slightly drunk, wearing a short dress, smelling like party smoke and cheap beer.

“Hey,” he closed the laptop, giving me his full attention. “You went out?”

“Yeah. A party.” I  stayed by the door, hand still on the knob.  “We can do this another time if you're busy.”

“I'm not busy.”  he stood, moved around the desk but kept his distance.  “How drunk are you?”

“Not very. Enough to make this conversation slightly less terrible.”

A small smile formed on his lips. “Fair enough.”

I made myself step further into the room, closing the door behind me. The click of it sounded too loud.

“I'm sorry,”  he began. “For what happened, for putting you in this position. I should have known.”

“I didn’t know either,” I said. “About who you were, I mean. I thought Jenna had sent you.”

“I thought you were my escort I had ordered for the night.”

I chuckled. 

He did too. 

“So we agree it was a mistake,” he said

“A huge mistake.”

“And it can't happen again.” he added. 

"Never," I said, meaning it.

“Good.” But he didn't look away from me, and I couldn't make myself look away from him.

The air in the room felt different with something I didn't want to name. I thought about that night, about his hands on me, his mouth. 

About how I hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since.

“I should go,”  I said.

“Yeah.” he muttered, but—Neither of us moved.