MOVING ON.

Darius walked over, still staring at them both walking off. His hand stayed on his waist and his eyes confused.

“She's your mom?” He placed a hand under his chin. “I thought your mom was dead?”

I sighed.

“Do you get progressively dumber? That's Kaelen's mom.”

“But you called her ‘mom’”

“So?” He placed a hand on my shoulder.

“So don't you think you moved on from your mom's death a little too quickly?”

I paused, my eyes widened. Why would Darius say that? He knows how hard it's been to move on from it. I never actually did…I just shoved it aside and he just brought it up like that.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “I still remember my mom…but Yvette is doing very well too…”

“Hmm. Whatever makes you happy champ.” And he walked away.

I stood there alone, remembering all the times I had called her mom. Did she deserve it? Was it worth it? Am I supposed to just forget my mama that quickly?

“Shit.” I cleaned my eyes. I'd rather be caught dead than crying here. Then,

WHISTLE!

“LEO!” Coach screamed, “OFF THE COURT!”

I screamed back.

“YES SIR.” And ran close to him. He removed his glasses and hugged me.

“Uh…Coach?” He didn't respond. He just hugged and patted my back. Then finally,

“It'll all be fine, okay?” He tapped my shoulder. “Finish this rep and head home. You've had enough.”

I stared, wide eyed, trying to understand what Coach was talking about but I don't think I could.

“Yes Coach.” I ran back to the court and me and Darius didn't speak the entire training.

******

The walk back home was quiet as the evening fell upon us. It was beautiful…it was kind…it was—

“The sky's pretty,” I turned my head quickly. “Don't you think?”

It was Kaelen. I turned back and took out my phone to take a picture.

“Yeah…” I took one pic. “Yeah it is.” and the walk continued in silence. When I looked at him, he was still wearing his basketball shoes.

“You didn't change away from them?”

“Hmm?” He stared at me blankly. “Change from what?”

“Your shoes.”

Then he looked down and laughed at my feet.

“You prefer switching from basketball shoes to flip-flops?!”

“I was just—” he laughed even louder as I tried to defend myself so I kept quiet.

The walk went back quiet and night slowly fell on us.

“Damn…it's getting dark quick.” I said, looking up at the sky.

“Yeah…thank goodness we're on our street now.”

The walk to school takes 30 minutes at most…but we've been walking for over an hour. Kaelen smiled.

“Mom would be so happy watching us walk like this…” then that's when I remembered Darius. I asked without shame.

“Do you think I moved on from my mother's death quickly?” And then there was silence. Kaelen looked stunned. 

“What the hell?”

“It's a question.”

“Who made you think so?”

I paused, then—

“Darius…”

“That boy?” I laughed as we approached the door.

“He's just two years younger than you are.”

We walked to the door without a single word being said. Then Kaelen sighed.

“No, you didn't move on quickly.”

“Huh?” He ignored me and kept talking.

“You mourned, healed and grew. That doesn't mean you moved on too fast.” He said calmly.

“Oh thank yo—”

“And fuck Darius!” He snapped. “What does he know about your grief?! Tch.”

And he walked inside angrily, leaving me outside confused. I followed and met dad in the kitchen with Yvette. Kaelen walked over, hugged her and talked about his day while I stood at the door. Then her eyes searched, when they found me, she smiled and walked up to me in one of my flip-flops.

“Leooo” I bowed.

“Good evening mom.” She paused, staring me up and down.

“Are you good?” She pulled me. “Come take a hug!”

It felt warm and…nice. I wrapped my hand around her and tears fell.

“Oh.” Yvette pulled away as soon as she heard my breathing change. “What's wrong baby?” She cleaned my eyes as more tears fell.

“I–I I feel like I'm accepting you too quickly…” I cleaned my eyes too as she stared at me confused.

“What do you mean?”

“It feels like you're my mom…but you're not…”

“Oh baby…” she pulled me in, holding me tightly. If I closed my eyes, it felt like my mom all over again but I knew it was bad. Then Yvette pulled back, her eyes watered too. I panicked.

“Oh” I tried to clean her eyes but she held my hands.

“It's fine baby…” she cleaned the tears as they fell. “I don't know who told you that, but it's your choice to take it to heart or not.” 

My tears fell even more while everyone else behind us just stared confused. I tried to talk but words didn't come out. She smiled, patting my cheeks.

“What child put these thoughts in your mind?” I wanted to answer when from behind Kaelen screamed.

“Darius!” He walked closer. “McAllister” Yvette frowned slightly.

“Oh?” She hugged me again. “That boy?”

I stared at Kaelen confused. Why did they keep calling him “that boy?” Why did the thought irritate them? But I couldn't speak because Kaelen was looking at me when a tear fell from his eyes too and he walked to his room like nothing happened.

I watched him go up when Yvette released me.

“Go meet your brother…” she smiled through the tears, “I'm glad you're getting along.”

Then the flashbacks hit and I thought…would Yvette still love me this much if she found out I and Kaelen have fucked? Would she love me if she found out the first day I called her mom was accidental because Kaelen was pounding me at the door…?

“Thank you…” I bowed. “You’re a wonderful mom.” And I walked up the stairs.

From behind I could hear Yvette crying and my dad telling her it was okay but ahead, the door was locked.

“Kaelen…” he didn't respond so I used my keys to open it. When I walked in, it was pitch dark but in the corner, there was a little white blanket. When I walked closer,

“Get out.”

“Kaelen…”

“Please…just leave…”