I’m finishing my last cookie when the stairs creak. At first, I think it’s one of the dogs, but the lack of jingling dog tags lets me know it’s a human.
“Oh,” Alyson’s voice comes from behind me. I turn, taking in the sight of her in her pajama shorts and tight tank top. She’s obviously not wearing a bra, and her long, lean legs are hardly covered by the shorts.
If she turns around and I see her sweet, supple ass, I’m screwed. “I didn’t know you were down here,” she murmurs.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I say, brushing the crumbs from my hands. I’m only in my boxers, not expecting anyone to join me. Alyson lets her eyes linger on my body for a moment before looking away. She smooths out her shirt, pulling the collar up, trying to cover herself, and looks so uncomfortable.
“Neither could I,” she admits and opens the fridge, rooting around until she finds a can of ginger ale.
“Not feeling well?”
She pops the top and
My stomach gurgles and my throat feels thick. A telltale sign I’m going to throw up. I pride myself on saying I have an iron stomach and often bring up how I survived the Langford Family Picnic disaster, over seven years ago, with just a twist of nausea when everyone But right now, there’s no stopping what’s coming up. And also right now, Jim’s hand lands on my cheek, gently cupping my face and turning my chin up to his. He leans in and I know he’s going to kiss me. I want nothing more than to kiss him back, but I can’t. Not right now. I push his hand away and turn, barely making it to the sink before I throw up. “Fuck, Alyson,” Jim says and moves in, grabbing my hair and holding it back. My stomach heaves again, and I shudder. Throwing up is awful. Just fucking awful. I turn on the faucet and rinse my mouth, washing away any vomit that might be on my face. Jim’s hand lands on my back, gently rubbing it, and he’s still holding my hair.
“HOW DO YOU DO THIS EVERY DAY?” I FALL INTO A LOUNGE CHAIR, OVER EXAGGERATING MY exhaustion. Though I am dragging, even with sleeping in past ten this morning. Wes shrugs, a slight smile on his face as he watches his son run around the yard with the dogs. “You just do.” “You’re like a superhero. Literally. Saving lives as a cop and rocking the whole single-parent thing.” He bypasses the compliment. “Keep your shoes on, buddy!” he shouts to Jackson. “He’s going through a barefoot phase right now.” “Better than his bare-butt phase when he wouldn’t wear pants.” Wes laughs, adjusting his gun on his belt before sitting on a chair next to me. He’s on his lunch break, and came by for a homemade meal and to see Jackson. “You do know the crime is really low here, don’t you? Or have you been away so long you forgot? I’m not saving lives in Eastwood.” I shoot him a look, trying desperately hard to ignore the sick feeling in my sto
I blink rapidly, eyes needing to readjust to the bright sunlight around us. Everything faded for a moment there. “And Jim. I didn’t know you were in town.” Logan’s eyes go from Alyson to me a few times before he pulls Alyson in for a hug. “I’m guessing this is why Mom’s having us all come over for dinner tonight.” “Yeah. We’re out running errands for her,” she says, shuffling back. Sweat breaks out along my back, both from the heat of the day and almost getting caught. My judgment goes out the window when it comes to Alyson, and she got me going from zero to sixty in three seconds flat. “What’d you buy?” Alyson asks, shifting nervously. She’s worried her brother saw us too. “That thriller that’s being made into a movie. I refuse to see the movie until I’ve read the book.” Out of all her brothers, Alyson and Logan are the most alike. He’s the second youngest, even though Ben is a mere handful of seconds older, and I’ve heard them joke a
ALYSON PUSHES HER FOOD AROUND ON HER PLATE, TAKING LITTLE BITES HERE AND THERE AND ONLY when someone is looking. She still doesn’t feel well but is trying to hide it. I’ll ask her about it later and make sure she’s okay. “How’s life at the hospital?” Mr. Langford asks. “You’re at the biggest one in Indy, right?” “Yes, I am. And it’s hectic and busy, but I really enjoy it.” Ben takes a drink of beer and raises his eyebrows. “Do doctors hook up with hot nurses in break rooms like they do on TV?” I laugh. “Not that I know of.” “But Jim was seeing a hot nurse for a while,” Jacob interjects, and I internally wince. “Whatever happened to her?” “Uh, it was never much of a thing,” I deadpan, going for my beer. “Keeping it casual.” Ben nods in approval. “A guy after my own heart.” Alyson looks up at her brother, green eyes full of fire. “Aren’t you getting too old for casual relationships?” The venom in her voice is directed at me, not
Ben’s face falls when he looks at his phone. Then his eyes narrow ever so slightly with fear. “Sorry,” he says, and stands. “It’s my mother. I have to take this.” “Go ahead, honey,” Mom says, not catching the worry in Jim’s face like I do. My anger goes out the window, and I’m concerned for him now. He mentioned having a sick family member. What if they couldn’t fight their illness anymore? I set my fork down, reaching for my water, and peer into the kitchen, trying to get a read on Jim’s face. His back is to me, but his hand lands on his neck. Shit. Something is wrong. “Alyson?” Dad says in a tone that lets me know it wasn’t the first time he said my name. “Earth to Alyson.” “Yeah, sorry. What?” Everyone laughs. “I asked you how’s work going on the Batmobile.” He winks and Wes stifles a laugh. “Dad,” I scold. “I told you I can’t talk about it in front of others.” Mom shakes her head,
I WAKE UP, KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT’S GOING ON, BUT STILL BOGGED DOWN BY MY DREAM THAT everything is perfect. My bedroom door is cracked open just enough to let the dogs in and out, and Rufus moved from my side to the foot of the bed where he could lay under the fan. Thirsty, I get up to get a drink, and see a small paper bag with my name on it, scrawled out in messy black letters. It’s folded down and stapled shut. Curious, I grab it and rip it open. There are two pregnancy tests inside, along with a note from Jim. I LOOK AT THE TESTS AND TRY TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO. IF I AM PREGNANT, HAVING JIM THERE will be reassuring. And if I’m not, we can both celebrate together. I put both boxes back in the bag and slip it in a drawer on the nightstand. It’s only seven o’clock, and everyone is still sleeping, I’m sure. Getting out of bed, I pad into the hall and pause outside of Jim’s door. My stomach flip-flops, and this time I know it’s from nerves. I slowly open th
The bathroom door closes, and I’m still standing there, looking at the white paint until my vision goes blurry. After I reassured her everything will be okay, she smiled and said she was going to take a shower. But I can’t move. Hell, I can hardly breathe. I’m trying to let it sink in, but my defenses are up and I can’t think past the fact she’s been feeling sick and it’s partly my fault. Or all my fault? I know it took both of us to create the baby, and it’s not like Alyson wasn’t willing. But…fuck. How could I let this happen? I’m a doctor. I know how the body works. And yet I had sex three times with Alyson within twenty- four hours and only used a condom once. Though it’s not like I brought any with me Friday night. I didn’t expect to hook up with anyone, and when it finally happened with Alyson, I wasn’t thinking straight. Rufus tips his head, listening to Mr. And Mrs. Langford move around the kitchen. Knowing it’s time for breakfast, he lazi
“WELL,” ALYSON SAYS, SHIFTING HER WEIGHT. SHE HOLDS HER HAND UP TO HER FACE TO BLOCK THE sun and steals a look at the house behind her. It’s a little after noon and I need to leave to make it home on time. I’m on call again tonight and need to try and get some sleep just in case I’m called in. “I’ll let you know when I get an appointment.” “Okay.” I swallow hard, fighting the urge to grab her and kiss her. I want so fucking badly to tell her I love her, that I’ve loved her for years, and even though having a baby right now wasn’t planned, it’ll be okay because in the end, we were meant to be together. But if I say all that now, she’ll think I’m only saying it to make her feel better. She’ll think I’m making it up or overexaggerating how I feel in an attempt to show her I really do want this baby. So I’ll wait. We have nine months. “And if you need anything, call me. I’m here, Alyson. Even when I’m not.” Her eyes well with t