(0.2): The Move.

One of the scariest places to be is none other than the edge. This is where I was, at the edge of a cliff.

The edge would always be one of the most scariest places to be. The edge of a cliff, this is where I stood.

Decisions stared back at me.

Should I take another step or not?

I wondered whether I was weak, for even entertaining such thoughts.

The air around me was cool yet the one that came from the bottom of the cliff, was cold. It creeped up like a haunting whisper, through my clothing, further touching my skin.

It was not safe, I knew it wasn't. Still, I was entertaining all those thoughts.

'I don't want to be here.' I whispered to myself, closing my eyes and wishing I was anywhere but here.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was no longer standing at the edge. I was somewhere different, just like I desired to be.

Had I changed things?

This time I stood in the middle of the forest, being surrounded by a misty atmosphere. I looked around, trying to find a clearing, but nothing.

So, I started moving forward.

I didn't know where I was going but I needed to be away from there. It felt....Suffocating.

I heard the sound of water, something similar to a stream running. I took that as my lead, letting my ears do the work.

The closer I got to that sound, the more my heart picked up speed. It must have been the anticipation of what I would see.

I let out a sigh of relief when the fog cleared away bit by bit, making room for me to see more. Exhaustion captured my legs and my movements slowed down. However, my motivation never died down and I continued walking.

My footsteps quickened when the sound of water grew louder. I walked a bit more until I came across a small clearing, with a stream just a few feet.

The water was clear, pretty.

I felt the warmth of the sun but couldn't  see it. I glanced around, looking for anything out of the ordinary and there appeared a full body mirror. It was there, facing my way yet at a close distance, it looked like something taken out of a basement, an ancient one.

It was similar to what I would have found at a museum.

'Why would there be a mirror in the middle of nowhere? Strange.'

Nonetheless, I walked towards it.

My approach was slow and careful, nerves taking over my whole body. I didn't  know what I was getting myself into, but I needed to see something other than the nature around me.

The mirror was  the only thing out of place here.

I let out a shaky breath the more I drew near. There was that other voice which told me to turn back around and walk away, but my curiosity won this time around.

'Ah!' A gasp escaped me when I finally stood in front of the mirror.

What I saw was quite unsettling, my heart pained at the sight of a different version of myself, a more vulnerable one.

My eyes said it all, that I had been through alot and I was at my wits end.

It's unfortunate that this was the first thing I saw. I no longer was able to appreciate my silky white gown that flowed prettily against my feet. It was far from what I would consider wearing, being more of a PJ type of person.

This version I saw in the mirror looked defeated. There was a peek of defiance and fire within the deep parts of my eyes.

'What has happened to me?'

'What have I been through?

'I feel exhausted.'

I don't like what I see.

I closed my eyes for some time, swallowing hard. My chest tightened due to this image, an image that had hurt my heart.

'Lupita' My eyes fluttered open when my ears picked up on a soft voice, carried by the wind.

Was that call for me?

'Lupita' Again, that voice.

My eyes connected with the mirror again and everything fell into silence. My body tensed and my lips parted when I saw that I no longer was anymore. I had company, the kind with golden eyes.

My feet were rooted in place, heart picking up pace and eyes widened.

'Has it come to finish its job?'

I watched as it approached from behind until it stopped in clear view yet still maintaining space behind me.

It stood large and overpowering.

I felt small and more vulnerable.

' Please, don't kill me.' I pleaded in a whisper.

I watched as it tilted its head to the side, observing me. My heart beat heavily and painfully against my chest, all sorts of thoughts rushing through my brain.

It could end my life here and now and no one would know. That's how powerful it was.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I watched it moving again, walking around me until it faced me. The mirror blocked.

My knees buckleed because of the height difference.

My hands shook and fear clawed at my insides. Not being able to withstand feeling so small and almost non-existent at the sight of this beast.

I collapsed to the ground.

My head hung low as my hands gripped hard on the grass.

" What do you want from me?!" I cried out, my voice shaky.

" Why won't you leave me alone?!"

A moment passed before the unexpected happened.

It made a move, something that had my breath caught in my throat. My head snapped up at the exact moment it stepped closer, before lowering itself on the ground.

I had to blink a couple of types to believe that this was happening. That this huge beast had lowered itself to seem less intimidating.

No, what's happening?

Why isn't it hurting me?

Why is it----

" What am I doing?" I questioned myself as I shakily reached out my hand towards it.

A tingly sensation trailed among my spine and hands, the closer I got. I stopped within reach when its eyes looked towards my hand. I quickly withdrew, thinking better of my actions.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief for such stupidity.

'I must be crazy.'

I startled when I heard a low growl, my eyes snapping open with my mind going blank. I quickly glanced over my shoulder when I noticed the wolf, look in that direction.

I saw nothing.

Something wet made contact with my hand, which stole my attention. Looking down to my hand, I blinked in surprise at the sight of blood.

More blood dropped onto my hand.

My eyes gazed up to the wolf, that now had blood drip down the middle of its face.

Was it hurt? When did it happen?

Despite the fear I had then, seeing it dripping blood made me concerned.

I couldn't understand why this image cut deep into my chest. The urge to see it okay pushed for my hand to reach out to it again, and this time, it connected with its head.

It's fur was warm and soft and familiar?

'Why was it that I feel like I knew you?'

Where we are connected felt warm.

I watched with interest as the blood trailed down my arm and coated my silky night gown. My heart beat fast as the colour of the blood darkened, making the sight more gruesome.

' Murder!' I heard hard whispers come from different directions, startling me in place.

I dropped my hand, to which the wolf growled in protest, pushing more of its head towards me. I ignored that and jumped to my feet, frantically looking around.  I tried to find the source but my attempts resulted to nothing. I didn't know where the voices were coming from and they seemed to grow louder as time passed.

'Stop!' I called out, not being able to bear the noise any longer.

' Murder!'

'I said Stop!!' I let out a scream, now falling to my knees.

Dizziness hit me hard while the voices were relentless in their crazed cries.

A loud wolf growl echoed all around me, cutting through the noise.

Yet not silencing them.

The last I remember was my eyes falling shut with hands against my ears, as my body rocked back and forth. I tried to find my body, to be small and unnoticeable so the voices would leave me be.

Everything turned dark from there, with voices now trailing far into the background, setting my ears free....

*

*

*

*

" Ah!" I jolt awake with wide and searching eyes around me. My heart pounds hard against my chest while uneasy breath slips past my lips.

I can feel beads of sweat on my face and the slight shake of my hands.

' I'm safe. I'm in my room and I am safe.' My mind replays this over and over until I feel myself calming down.

I hate nightmares. They never let me rest.

' That's the whole point. They have no intention to give you peace.' My conscious voiced out.

No, the dream seemed different, more weird. It's unlike the ones I am used to.

New place means different dreams, I see.

Either way, it is exhausting to experience all these again. I thought for a moment that it would be all over, that I would catch a break.

With this new move should have come change, shouldn't it?

Or am I wrong?

Is it really too much to ask for change? Seems so.

Falling back to sleep seems impossible right now and so I settle for staying up, I mean why bother even trying when I know the results.

" Ha..." I let out a sigh, moving hair away from my face.

I reach over to switch on the light from the lamp, needing more of it in the room. I do a dig through the bedside draw for my journal, wanting to record all I remember about the dream. The details aren't as clear and a bit of a mess but that's okay.

I feel a sense of relief once I'm done and make sure to place the diary back in its place, that being at the far end of the draw.

A glance to the small clock on my night stand and it brings out yet another sigh out of me.

It's 5am.

' Gosh, all sleep, gone.'

Not wanting to remain bored, I move out of bed and head to the bathroom to splash some water onto my face.

I make no mistake of looking myself in the mirror, not wanting to see a tired expression displayed on my face. It's enough knowing that I could barely experience longer hours of rest, now that I have moved.

' Maybe I still need to adjust to this new place and I will be fine.'

" I will be fine.....I have to be." I mumble to myself, in an attempt to be more convincing.

I don't want to wake mom up by being loud and making noise, so I tip toe around the hallway, with my slippers in one hand and my gown in the other. Once I make it downstairs, I put on everything and visit the kitchen, to make myself a cup of tea.

' The kitchen is definetly bigger.' I think to myself, letting my eyes wander around me.

With the tea done and ready, I leave the house through the backdoor.

It's in the early morning and just in time for me to watch the sunrise.

The backyard is quite bigger that what I have been expecting and it would have been more lovely, had it been taken care of. From what I heard, years had passed with the house being vacant and one time, it was at risk of being demolished but somehow it was saved. Someone had a hand in this and I wonder who it was, becausd mom did mention that it was not the owner. The grass looks like it hasn't been cut in a while and there's leaves, lots and lots of them. Dead ones to be specific.

I did find myself frowning a little when mom mentioned that this house was perfect for us, not that I would disagree, but the fact that she chose the one closest to the forest did confuse me abit. I thought she wouldn't want something similar to our old house, something that would be a reminder of the past. I guess she changed her mind then.

Mom has surely surprised me throughout this whole move, in more ways than one. Despite her telling me that this move is good for us, more especially for me, nothing else came from her.

For some unknown reason, I feel like there is more to this move than she is letting on.

But For now, I'm letting her have her way.

With the sun beginning to rise and my need to sit down for a moment, I search around with my eyes for a place I can sit, only to find a bench swing by a big tree. I make way over to it and wipe away the dust and leaves on it, before taking my seat.

'I guess this might be my little corner.' I tell myself, approving of it.

Positioning the soles of my feet on the ground, I move slightly forward and take the first sip of my tea. Thankfully it's still warm enough for me to drink and not throw away. That would be a total waste indeed.

There is no doubt in me that what lies in the deep parts of the forest is danger and mystery. I quickly shut down any curious imaginative thoughts of what lies there. Instead, I focus on my surroundings, our new house and this backyard that needs more care and love, which brings out its shine.

As I watch the sunrise, with the morning air cool and tea warm, I let myself bask in this moment.

'This is my new life now.' I think to myself.

It's quiet and my thoughts are calm, just like I needed it.

Maybe waking up so early wasn't so bad after all.

If mornings are more like this, then the move will be worth it.

No noisy neighbours, no creepy sounds and no feeling like I am being watched. This I can get used to.

'It was only the first night, don't get carried away.' My conscious tells me.

The reminder replaces the smile that had threatened to come out and I sigh.

" I just want peace."

" Casey!" I startle.

The sound of my mother calling, had me almost spill tea on myself.

I had been so lost in my thoughts and sounds of leaves being touched by the small wind, I didn't expect another presence.

" Casey!" She calls again before I can respond, this time her voice raised and urgent sounding.

' I should head in before she assumes I can away.' I chuckle to myself, finding it oddly funny.

I mean where would I go? It's a whole new place.

I don't know anyone from around here yet the first time we drove here, it was unexplainable how it felt familiar, like I've been here before. It was weird then and still is.

I never told mom and I don't plan on doing it, I wouldn't be able to make sense to her. This is why it's best to keep it to myself, just like I've done with some things.

I'm not given a chance to respond to my mother's call, when she calls me again and this time, I can hear panic in her voice, which pushes for me to rise to my feet.

" Mom!" I finally call back.

She finds me first before I do and the sight of her is quite worrying.

She is walking barefoot with bed hair and wide eyes. She isn't even wearing anything warm which concerns me.

" Mom I ------"

" Casey, where have you been? Do you know that I have been looking for you?!"

" I was ----"

" You don't just get up and leave without letting me know!"

" I didn't exactly leave, I was just----"

" You were gone Casey and I thought....."

" You thought?"

She seems to give up on what she meant to say, letting out a breath instead.

The way she looks off to the side, taking a minute- tells me everything.

She's collecting her thoughts.

She looks at me again, saying, " just don't do that again, we are at a new place and I need to know where you are at all times."

" That won't be possible." The words slip out without a second thought.

She blinks out in surprise.

I can't even find my own words- I'm surprised too.

" Casey."

" I couldn't sleep." I finally explain myself.

She nods in understanding but the worry in her eyes says something different.

I watch her look me over and when she spots the cup of tea in my hand, that's when the relief I'd been expecting appears.

' What were you thinking Mom?'

Did she think------

" It all happened twice Mom, it's over now." I speak up again.

After what had happened to me, I experienced a case of sleepwalking once or twice, which almost put me in danger.

" Just come to me if you're having trouble sleeping."

" It's a new place Mom, I need to adjust. It'll take a while that's all."

She nods despite not looking convinced.

" Did you take your meds?"

" Later?" With that I leave, not wanting to open that discussion.

She follows me without a word and I feel that as I walk away, I leave the morning peace that I had been experiencing just now.

When we make it back inside, I head on over to the kitchen to throw away the now lukewarm tea.

" Let me make you a new one, this must be cold." She takes the cup and moves around the kitchen.

I'm left with no choice but to let her have her way.

" I'll go make my bed." I say, turning away from there.

The moment I return to my room, I make my bed and tidy up, before moving onto my morning routine.

By the time I head out of my room, the sun is out and it's clear that it'll be a warm day today.

I stop at the kitchen doorway, when I see mom busy on call.

I bet my money that it's someone  I know.

Possibly- uncle Johnathan.

He's the one I've known my whole life yet I can't recall the first time we met. My childhood memories may be a blur at times and it is possible I jumble things up. We've never lived together but he always knows where to find me.

I don't know how he does it.

Calling him uncle Johnathan has felt more natural as if we are bonded by blood. He's young, around mid 30 close to 40 years old young. He's a mystery, a familiar mystery if you will.

He's the kind of mystery that has stayed as one due to him never forgetting one day. My birthday.

He's said time and time again that day, changed everything. He's always claimed that he doesn't care much about many things but my birthday seems to be an exception.

He's the one who made me view it differently and appreciate it just a little more. The gift giving is part of the reason.

One time he'd given me a necklace, the one that hangs around my neck right now as I eavesdrop on a private conversation. If only he knew that I'm doing one of the things he dislikes, would I receive a big scolding from him.

I touch the necklace as I listen on. He'd instructed me to never take it off, no matter what. His tone then, was strong, urgent and claimed the importance and value of the necklace. So I never took it off.

I remain behind the wall, listening in. " You're the one who convinced me that this was a good idea, that it had to be done." I frown at those words. " It's all for her safety and nothing more."

" What if it doesn't work out and things become worse? I can't....." She lets out a sigh, no longer finishing her words.

" Look, all I want is for her to be okay. But after what happened, I think this might be far from over."