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Have you ever wished something to go wrong so you won't have to do whatever you need to do, something you don't want to do?

Like I wish there's some mix up with the contract that instead of 12 weeks, it says 21 weeks.

Or the dates, instead of '17th of July to 17th of October, with the possibility of extension to 17th of January', the words between 'October' to '17th of' miraculously disappear leaving me no option but to stay until January.

Or I haven't been so diligent with my pills that I missed one or two, miraculously planting a seed in me so I have to extend my existence in his life, until the end of it.

Gosh there're so many things going through my mind of how much I want things to fuck up just so I can go back to him, because I really, really miss him.

From having him with me every single day to a total disappearance like this, everything seems so wrong, so out of place. Worst of all, every single thing I do or see reminds me of him.