Schizophrenia (A)

Matt

I couldn't tell what my Mom was thinking; trying to call Doris names in front of the kids. Sometimes, she can be really hard to understand, it's no wonder James stayed away from her. Just when Claire's beginning to warm up to me, she wants to ruin it and take me back to square one again.

I wasn't even one to vent my anger, I always leave the arguments and the harsh words to Luciana.

"Could you be any less impossible, Mom? What was that back there?" Luciana began as soon as we got into the green house. Abigail and I sat down at the tea table and watched Mom and Luciana yell at each other; it was getting old.

"Can't you at least buy a heart? It's barely two weeks since those kids lost their mother and now they are turning to their Dad's family for support, you want them to find out that you hate their mother? How terrible is that?"

"Luciana please be quiet, I'm not going to argue with you right now." That was new! Mom never misses an opportunity to argue with Lucy. Maybe James's reaction was taking its toll on her.

"I hate that slut and I am not ashamed to admit it." Mom came over to sit across from me; Luciana followed suit.

"Matthew, how are the funeral arrangements coming along?" Mom asked.

"We haven't decided yet. Mark wants the kids to be ready for it before we even mention it."

"Ready for what? Just dig up the ground and throw her corpse in! It doesn't even matter where."

"Mom!" Luciana snapped. I rolled my eyes; I knew she was kidding but I didn't like that she could talk about someone's body like that.

"Relax, I was kidding. Matthew listen, the sooner you bury that... that... person, the better for everyone. Claire and James can move on and you and Abigail can get married immediately."

"What?" Abigail and I said in unison.

"Whoa, Mom, hold it. First, Doris' burial can't be rushed judging by the circumstances. And second, who said anything about Abigail and I getting married?"

"The woman was killed, too bad for her, that's over; let's bury her and move on."

"Give it some time, Mom, it's just been weeks." 

"No one asked you, Luciana. And Matthew, aren't you two planning on getting married soon?" Mom narrowed her eyes at me.

"We're not."

"Why is that? Are you still hooked on your dead wife? You know you were supposed to be married to Abigail before that thing came into the picture."

"'That thing had a name, it's Doris. Can't you at least show a little respect?" Mom turned to Lucy as if she'd grown a second head.

"Respect? For who exactly? That... That..."

"Mom..." I said in a low warning tone. She put up her hands in surrender.

"Alright, I'll call her name from now on. So, tell me, why aren't you getting married soon?"

"Listen to yourself for once. I just lost my wife, my kids just lost their mother; I'm finally reunited with my children and you want me to drop the news of me remarrying on them? How do you expect them to react to that?"

"Matt is right." Abigail reached for my hand under the table and held it. "You saw Claire's hand, she got hurt because she was overthinking my presence. Matt and I were supposed to be together before Doris, true, but that was a long time ago. A lot has happened since then and we have to think about the children right now."

"Yes..." I agreed, giving her hand a little squeeze. "And if we want to get married, it'll be our decision." I turned to Mom and narrowed my eyes at her for effect. "Not yours."

"Are you trying to say that the decisions I make for you are the wrong ones?"

"Clearly." Lucy answered for me. 

"Excuse me?"

"Look at my marriage, Mom! You made me marry Thomas... What am I saying? You forced me to marry Thomas. And now, fourteen years later and after two kids, he wants a divorce."

"The divorce isn't happening, Luciana. And don't blame it all on me, you were happy to be married to him in the first place."

"I was eighteen! I was trying to get away from you and he wasn't a monster then. My point is, if you didn't butt in where you weren't needed, maybe I'd be married to someone I loved and still love."

"Oh, I see what's happening here. You feel you're grown now and you can make decisions for yourself."

"We are grown Mom, open your eyes."

"Good. Then I guess I'm not needed anymore." Mom stood up, nodded at us and left immediately.

"Oh, Luciana, I think you hurt her feelings." Lucy shrugged at Abigail's remark.

"She had it coming. Besides, her sweet boy here will definitely pacify her." They both turned to me.

"What? She's my Mom. I know she can be a lot most times, but it doesn't mean she is the worst human alive."

"She is."

"Lucy, you've got to stop blaming Mom for your divorce, it's all on Thomas. He's a dick and if you'll just let me handle him, I'll..."

"No way! Just stay out of it, the divorce is almost over and the sooner it is, the sooner I can concentrate on myself and my kids. Excuse me, I'll go kiss my children goodbye, the jet lag is kicking in."

"James?" Claire's alarmed voice caught our attention. I was on my feet in no time and was already out of the green house. Claire was bent over James' sitting form; she looked really worried and he wasn't moving.

"What's wrong?" At the sound of my voice, she shielded his body with hers.

"It's nothing, he just wants a nap."

"But he's so still." I heard Abigail say over my shoulder.

"He gets like this when he needs a nap." She was lying, clearly. Anyone would believe her if they didn't know her as well as I do. She bites her upper lip when she lies.

"Wait, I'll carry him." I offered.

"No!" She protested immediately. Lucy was next to her instantly, holding her shoulders.

"Claire, relax. Something is definitely wrong and we all know that, there's no use hiding it anymore." I watched her as she calmed down a little, but she was really chewing her upper lip.

"What is wrong with James?" I asked.

"He's okay, he's just..."

"What?" She looked at me, pressed her lips together, then exhaled.

"He's not with us right now."

"What does that mean?" Abigail asked.

"Sometimes when he's upset, he goes into his special place. I call it his private world but the doctor calls it... Schizophrenia." Luciana and Abigail inhaled sharply. I still couldn't process what I was hearing; my four-year old son has schizophrenia?