Gone Was My Memory, So Was My Love for You.

“Ms. Walker, you’ve been diagnosed with a rare memory disorder. Studies suggest that within a month at most, you’ll completely forget the person your subconscious associates with the deepest pain you’ve suffered. It’s essentially your body’s way of protecting itself.”

Phoebe Walker walked out with the diagnosis in her hand and sat down on a bench in the hospital hallway.

She called Zac Sanders.

Her voice felt strangely distant even to her own ears.

“Zac, I’m si...”

Before she could finish, his low voice came through the phone, edged with urgency.

“Honey, Ms. Tucker got hurt. It’s pretty serious, and she can’t handle this on her own. I’ll fill you in when I get home later.”

The call ended with a beep.

No warning. No goodbye.

The busy tone pierced her ear like a needle.

Phoebe’s hand froze in midair, still clutching her phone.

For a long time, she didn’t move.

Then she lowered her eyes to the call history on the screen and silently counted.

Thirty-eight.

This was the thirty-eighth time Zac had hung up on her because of Xena Tucker this week.

Every time, the excuse was the same.

“Ms. Tucker’s scared.

“Ms. Tucker can’t find the place.

“Ms. Tucker can’t handle it on her own.

Xena couldn’t handle anything on her own.

Apparently, Phoebe could.

Xena had returned from abroad a week ago.

She had been Zac’s private tutor back in high school.

Apparently, one summer, the two of them had nearly crossed a line.

Then Zac’s father, Warren Sanders, found out and intervened. He sent Xena abroad to study almost overnight.

Perhaps it was because their feelings had been cut short when they were young. Even after all these years, they had never really let go and had stayed in touch.

And now she was back.

Phoebe sat alone on the bench.

The sharp smell of disinfectant filled her nose, while the harsh white hospital lights seemed to drain every bit of color from the world.

She stared down at her phone and scrolled aimlessly.

Before she knew it, she had opened Xena’s social feed.

The posts went back six months.

“Someone made me this cake himself. So good!”

Phoebe’s heart sank.

She zoomed in on the photo and checked the date again.

It had been posted during the two days Phoebe was hospitalized after her car accident.

Zac had told her he was swamped with work.

He hadn’t visited her even once.

Her heart dropped even further.

Phoebe gave a bitter tug of her lips.

So that was where he had been.

He was overseas with Xena.

Later, while doing his laundry, Phoebe had found a plane ticket in his pocket.

He had explained that he’d had a business meeting abroad.

She hadn’t thought much of it.

Now it felt as if a fist had closed around her heart and was slowly crushing it.

Phoebe kept scrolling.

The next post was from a week ago.

“Made it back safely! I told someone he didn’t have to pick me up, but he insisted.”

The photo showed a man’s hand gripping the handle of her suitcase as he walked ahead of her.

Phoebe recognized that broad, familiar back instantly. It was the same man who had whispered “I love you” in her ear more times than she could count.

And that day had been their wedding anniversary.

The next post was from six days ago.

“One of my former students ended up going to the same university as me. We went back to visit our old school together.”

The photo was a close-up of someone’s eye.

There was a small mole just beneath the lower lid, in exactly the same spot as Zac’s.

After that, Xena posted something new every day.

The dates and captions were always different, but the man in the photos was always the same.

Then Phoebe reached today’s post.

“Accidentally cut my finger. It’s really not as bad as someone made it sound.”

The photo showed a tiny scratch, barely more than a faint red mark.

At the rate it was healing, it probably would have been gone by the time they reached the hospital.

Phoebe stared at the post for a long time, until her eyes began to sting.

A week ago, she had already told Zac that she had been forgetting things lately.

That the headaches were getting worse.

She had asked him to come to the hospital with her.

He had promised he would.

But now Xena had a nearly invisible scratch on her finger, and Zac was so worried he couldn’t even wait for Phoebe to finish a sentence before hanging up.

Her eyes burned.

Her vision slowly blurred.

Phoebe couldn’t bring herself to look anymore.

Her finger hovered over the screen for a few seconds before she quietly closed the page.

She turned her phone facedown on her lap and leaned her head back against the cold wall.

Her chest tightened with a dull, crushing ache.

Finally, the tears came.

They slid silently down her cheeks and landed on the back of her hand.

The heat of them made her flinch.

Phoebe had spent three years dating Zac and another three years married to him.

He had taken up almost all of her youth.

Zac had always been careful about physical boundaries. During the three years they dated, he never once tried to sleep with her.

Back then, he told her he wanted to save that special moment for their wedding night.

Phoebe believed him.

She thought he truly respected her and that it was simply part of who he was.

So she was perfectly happy with their platonic relationship. The furthest they ever went was holding hands.

But on their wedding night, Zac got so drunk that he passed out cold.

Phoebe remembered what he had once promised her. She felt a little disappointed, but she didn’t think much of it.

Not long afterward, Zac’s company launched a new project, and he was always busy.

Three years into their marriage, they still had never slept together.

Looking back now, Phoebe almost wanted to laugh.

How could a man who had time to go out with Xena every single day possibly be too busy for his own wife?

He wasn’t busy at all.

He had simply been saving himself for Xena.

And Phoebe had been foolish enough to believe him.

She let out a long breath, but the heaviness in her chest refused to go away.

Before coming to the hospital, she had quietly made herself a promise.

If Zac showed up for her this time, she would forgive everything that had happened before.

But now, there was no point.

Phoebe wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. The emotion slowly faded from her face until nothing remained.

She walked out of the hospital and made a phone call.

“I agree to the divorce.”

Half an hour later, Zac’s mother, Susan Jasper, arrived at the cafe and entered the private room.

Her expression was cold as she placed a divorce agreement firmly on the table.

“Sign it. In a month, I’ll have someone finalize the divorce. You won’t need to be there. The papers will be sent to you afterward.”

Phoebe lowered her eyes to the agreement and paused.

When she and Zac had first decided to get married, the Sanders family had strongly opposed their relationship.

Zac had nearly fallen out with his entire family before they finally gave in.

Phoebe would never forget what he had shouted back then.

“I’m marrying Phoebe! If you can’t accept that, then disown me!”

At the time, she had believed he loved her enough to turn his back on his own family.

Now she finally understood.

Maybe she had only ever been another way for Zac to rebel against his parents.

After all, they were the ones who had separated him from Xena years ago.

In the end, Phoebe had been nothing more than a tool.

Not long after the wedding, Susan had come to see her and handed her a divorce agreement.

“I know exactly what kind of man my son is,” Susan had told her. “Signing this can only protect you. It won’t hurt you.”

Back then, Phoebe had been convinced that no one in the world could ever love her more than Zac did.

She told Susan that she and Zac were different.

She even asked her earnestly to give their marriage a chance, promising that one day she would prove herself and earn the family’s approval.

Phoebe still remembered the look Susan had given her.

There had been confusion in her eyes, along with pity and something else she seemed to want to say but ultimately held back.

In the end, Susan had simply told her, “If you ever change your mind, you can come find me.”

Phoebe never imagined that only three years later, those words would come back to slap her in the face.

Her cheeks practically burned with humiliation.

She picked up the pen and signed her name without hesitation.

The moment she did, it felt as though a piece of her had been carved out, leaving an empty space behind.

Susan stood up.

“Don’t let Zac know about this for the next month. I’ll handle everything.”

With that, she left almost as quickly as she had arrived.

Phoebe took a deep breath and blinked against the sting in her eyes.

Then she opened the countdown app on her phone and added a new timer.

“30 days until my divorce from Zac. Don’t second-guess yourself. This is real.”

Phoebe returned to the home she shared with Zac because she needed to pack up her things.

She had barely stepped inside when the door opened behind her.

A familiar low voice came from the entryway.

“Honey? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home? I could’ve picked you up.”

Phoebe turned around and immediately met the bright eyes of the woman standing behind him.

Her hands tightened into fists.

She had only just signed the divorce agreement, and Zac had already brought Xena home.