Triumph coursed through him as he rocked deep within her, as he felt her dissolve beneath him, heard the cries of her assent. And he wanted to join her, to tip into oblivion, but the climb to the summit was wondrous. Here the air was clearer, the sounds more vivid, the colours brighter, and he wanted to linger, to find the answer to what would happen if he stayed, if he lingered, if he ventured on to an uncharted place… He kissed her for sustenance, took her weary, shocked lips in his and confirmed his intent. And then he told her, stared into the lusty black of her pupils and showed her a different way.‘This is how it could be.’She had thought her body spent, yet it was nowhere near. The languorous, slow lovemaking he had teased her with before was replaced, and the urgent, demanding pressure she had sought earlier was given to her now. He was relentless, his arms wrapped around her, his face smothering hers, kissing her eyes, her mouth, her face, her ears, driving deep into her as
Her black stretch jeans, matching battle jacket, the red top that skimmed rather than hugged her waist, and Reeboks on her feet—that should take her anywhere with reasonable style and comfort. Once fully dressed, she relaxed enough to lake some time over her hair and a bit of make-up. There was no telling whom they might meet and she wanted Collins to feel proud of her. Fortunately the sleep had done her good. She was no longer feeling like death warmed up, as she hadafter the long flight, and the queasiness had left her stomach. But what about tomorrow morning? she asked herself as she brushed the tangles out of her hair. How long could she keep deceiving Collins about her pregnancy? More to the point, did she want to? Apart from subjecting herself to the panic that had just churned through her, she wasn't ever going to feel right while she kept this secret from him. She could feel herself tensing up at the thought of the next few hours in his company, pretending she had nothing to
When Collins stroked her stomach, would their baby feel his touch as she did, deep in her womb? Would he love it if he knew it was there? Would he come to love her? She needed so much from this week with him. The waiter came to take their orders. Jasmine decided on what she hoped was a bland chicken dish, not wanting anything to upset her stomach tonight. Collins ordered steak and a bottle of wine, which she knew she wouldn't share. Maybe a glass of it wouldn't hurt, but she was glad water was served without her even asking for it. After the waiter had gone, Collins sat back and eyed her with a rueful twinkle . 'I really want to race you back to the hotel. Why do you suppose you have this effect on me?'It was another chance to probe his feelings and Jasmine seized it. 'Favour says...maybe we don't get to pick whom we love. They just complement something in us.' she said. 'Love...' Collins repeated. He frowned over the word, a dark rejection of it in his eyesas he tersely asked, '
Just pleasure on both sides. But that clearly wasn't the case at all. Not even for him, he thought with savage self-mockery. No other woman had got to him since Jasmine. He'd tried to put her out of his mind, dating women who'd be considered prizes by most men, but they'd all left him cold in the end. He knew exactly what Jasmine meant. Nothing else measured up to their experience. And the bottom line was, he didn't want to give it up.So what to do now? Apologise? Explain his position? What if she came back to the table and ended it right here? Walked away from him without so much as a backward glance? How would he feel?Collins didn't have time to analyse the impact such an action would have on him. Jasmine was on her way back, a set determination on her face and not the slightest bit of warmth or pleasure in her eyes. She didn't move to sit on her chair, She remained standing by the table, a bleak decision in the eyes that met his with unwavering resolution.Collins found himself r
'I just wanted you that night, Collins. I'd gone off the pill months previously. No need for it. When I told you it was safe, I meant to gel a morning-after pill the next day.' She sighed, doubtful he could understand how she'd thought and felt afterwards.'But you didn't,' he quietly prompted.'No. You were gone without a word to me. Call it madness if you like, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.' She managed an ironic little smile.'If a new life had been conceived by us, I felt it was meant to be. And I guess if I miscarry now, that's meant to be, too.' she added.Tears welled up. She quickly rolled her head across the pillow, turning her face away from him, swallowing hard to hold in the wave of grief.He would probably be relieved if she lost the baby, relieved to have no permanent tie on his plate. It was only she who wanted the child, loved knowing it was growing inside her, cherished the life she and Collins had made together.'Please go…please...' she choked out, fiercely
His course was clear, provided there was no miscarriage.If the baby was lost...His mind instinctively shied from even considering that outcome.Tomorrow, after the scan...he would think about it then...if he had to.---------'There is no heartbeat.' No heartbeat... Jasmine felt her own heart stop. She closed her eyes. The doctor's words kept on ringing in her mind—a death knell for her baby, 'Are you sure?' Collins demanded harshly. 'Can you check again?’'I have been trying to find it for some time. Mr. Freeman. There's nothing. I'm sorry, but there's no point in holding out any hope. Given the amount of bleeding, it was highly unlikely that...' 'All right!' Collins snapped.Silence. Jasmine floated in a sea of nothingness. No hope. No baby to love. Her heart had started beating again, sluggishly reluctant to bother with this life. She wanted to die, too.'Miss Trent,..' The sympathetic tone in the doctor's voice forced her to open her eyelids and acknowledge him. Not his faul
A frown creased her brow. She moaned and turned on her side away from him, drawing her legs up to scrunch herself into a protective ball. She hadn't opened her eyes, wasn't aware of his presence, and Collins suddenly felt like a voyeur to deeply private grief. Yet it might also be physical pain. 'Jasmine' he called urgently. 'Should I get a nurse or doctor?' Her head whipped around on the pillow. Startled eyes. Puzzlement. 'You're still here?' she asked, surprised. 'Are you okay?' he replied instead. She sighed and carefully shifted her body to face him. 'I'll cope with it. Collins, You don't have to stay and nursemaid me.' 'I brought you to L.A., Jasmine.' 'I made the choice. I don't hold you or blame you for anything. And you've been more than generous, fixing all this for me. I'm sorry...' 'Don't apologise. I'm the one who should be apologising.' She looked bewildered. 'What for?' 'Because I...' He gestured an appeal for some stay of judgment as he struggled for wor
She took a deep breath and released it in a shuddering sigh. 'You know what I mean. You can have my things sent here from the hotel. I'll get to the airport by myself. There's no need.,.' 'You want me to say goodbye now?' he asked. Her gaze wavered from his. 'You probably should be meeting with other people...' 'Don't make my decisions for me, Jasmine. I know what I want to do, and I understand if you want to get rid of me now. I don't blame you if that's what you want. If you'd prefer not to see me anymore, say so. Otherwise I'll be back to visit you tonight. And tomorrow. If you must go home, I intend to make sure you're fit enough to fly out before you do and I'll accompany you to the airport and see you into the care of the flight attendants.' She stared at him, not understanding his motivation. Which was fair enough, because he didn't understand it himself. All he knew—and knew with absolute certainly—was he needed time to sort this inner turmoil through before any final l