The Dark Past

CHAPTER 14: THE DARK PAST

SIDRA'S P.O.V

It’s weird how life takes us on a journey. How life itself is a journey. Hamdan's questions took me back to my past. Just thinking about life on earth brings back fond memories of childhood to some, fondness to others and total panic to a few. Sweet-bitter memories my past held but it was all now just a painful dark abyss.

The darkness from our past can be wiped clean by the brightness of the future if we are lucky enough. The bitterness of the memories can be replaced by the sweetness of the new life and after all the tears in the darkness, at last the smiles in public.

It all comes about with the purity of the heart, the sincerity of the soul and the truthfulness of nature. Your principles make who you are, your rules guide what you become and your love gives you the courage in the wilderness and most trying of trials.

This was my belief. In my case though, I have been waiting for the brighter future for such a long time but I know my Lord won’t fail me for he promised the patient reward. Knowing this much doesn’t make the pain any less though. The pain of losing my entire family. The pain of being alone.

 The pain of being rejected by Hamdan. When he called me Humeyra, My heart almost popped out of my chest. I Know I love him but subhanallah.In deed life is a cycle that goes round and round. Today, he is confessing his interest in me without knowing who I am.

 When I looked up at him and gazed into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes, I saw a look that I longed to see in them. I saw love, I saw admiration and weirdly lust. If someone told me that this would happen three years ago after his very hurtful rejection I would have laughed at their face but Tabarakallah.Now, I know that nothing is impossible.

 I was impressed though and felt a stab to my heart as I listened to him talk about his family whereas I had no one to call a family. I admired his family and at the same time it almost brought me to tears. I swallowed hard and decided to tell him about myself since he asked, but this time I decided to tell him about not the Humeyra he thought he knew but about the Humeyra that very few knew. My parents’ sidra. Not his friend Humii.

I am sidra.21 years of age and I don’t have a biological family. My parents and siblings passed away 11 years ago. I live in a quiet place which is the outskirt of Qamarstan and is called Jayda Rabia. The principle here is my foster father and I have one foster brother who is some years older than me.That is all about me. I looked up at him and saw pity in his eyes.

 I hated being pitied but I couldn’t tell him that. He had hurt me before and it has left its mark. I don’t think I could bring myself to trust him again. Even so, I couldn’t deny that he had my heart, loyalty and thoughts. How stupid love makes us.Huuh.I sighed and this time he looked away first. I smirked behind my veil, when I saw him blush.

 How cute! I have to go Hamdan. It’s nice knowing you. Ma'asalaam.I didn’t wait for him to respond. I just upped and went my way. I think it’s time to go back home and forget about Hamdan. If fate brings us together again, then I will give him a chance, but for now, I have an institution, chains of hotels and companies to oversee and maybe leave it in the hands of Abu Dhul Qarnain since I don't like appearing in the media for press conferences. Goodbye my love. Till we meet again, maybe. I thought as I went to bid the ulamaa farewell.

Hamdan was left thinking about sidra’s short introduction which once again took him back to the night where he had ruined the mood by asking Humeyra the same question. Though she had answered his question with sincerity in her words, Hamdan could tell that the smile on her face was as fake as anything fake could be.

He had wanted to ask more about her answer but Humeyra suddenly looked at him with a strange look in her eyes. It was the first time she had made an out of ordinary request to him after playfully caressing his beard which sent electric sparks all over his body as he could neither move nor talk.

 She had playfully said,” you know Hamdan, you will either run away from me or you will make your decisions based on what you know about me if and when I decide to tell you more about me. To avoid both of these situations, I would rather if you stayed ignorant about my family and my past. I like this Hamdi. I like talking to you and especially enjoy just gazing at your handsome face. So hubbi, do not ask about my family.

 “She had then let go of him and diverted her gaze from his own which was bewitched by her intense one and currently freed from her prison. I had blushed and lowered my gaze then not knowing how to respond to what she just did.

She looked at the sky, then at his blushing face. She had slyly smirked and made her request. “Hey butterfly, can you recite for me some verses from the Quran?” I looked up at her face and felt relieved to see that she was smiling once again. I assumed then that her strange bravado was wearing off so I decided to tease her back. With one eye brow lifted, I playfully echoed her word and asked, butterfly? And behold it was her turn to feel shy and I couldn’t help but smirk.

So Meyra, which surah would you like me to recite for you? She smiled still lowering her blushing face and whispered, Az –Zumar.