HIS

The biggest mistake of my life was being born a mafia princess.

And to Mathias Volkanov.

You see, my life was already decided even before I was born. The schools I'd attend, the job opportunities I'd be allowed to pursue as a docile young woman, the man I'd get married to, everything. I wasn't allowed to give an input. None.

Ever since I can remember, my father has been the one making both the minor and major decisions regarding my life. Matthias Volkanov might be my father, but he's also the most dangerous man in upstate Venice, Italy. Well, one of the most dangerous. Control fuels him. Control is his armor. And as the reigning Don of the Volkanov Mafia, once he gives an order he expects it to be followed down to the letter, whether they agree with it or not.

He cares about no one, but the Volkanov legacy.

He has no issues killing anyone who dares to oppose him. Death is the ultimate answer to every opposition, whether small or huge. He rules Italy with an iron fist.

In the public eye he's a role model, hardworking businessman, thanks to his legitimate businesses, corporations that rake in billions, and loving father.

But in secret he's a man who tangos in the dark, ruling over the shadows with a brutality that makes me shiver. It's a part of himself he keeps away from me, well-hidden, well-tamed.

But I don't like to dwell on such things. Moreover, the rumours I've heard, not only about his legendary viciousness, but the wickedness of my grandfather and every other Volkanov Don that'd reigned before made my stomach turn. I had a hard time reconciling the fact that the strict family man who takes care of my mother, me and my siblings with the harsh, ruthless Pennywise they've made him out to be.

I'm laying on my back, half asleep when I hear the soft knock on my bedroom door. Mother enters as I sit up, and draw my butt up so I can rest my back against the gigantic, black, silver-rimmed headboard.

"Your father wishes to speak to you."

"About what?" I asked.

"Come with me."

Father's study was upstairs, situated at the very heart of the mansion. Butlers, stewards and housekeepers move about, cleaning, and setting everything in place for dinner. Father's door is ajar, and Antonio comes out just as we're about to enter.

"Hello there, Trish," he greets me in passing with a wink. My stomach churns at his presence. I glance at my mother. She nudges me into Father's study, going to stand by his right hand side with her head bowed.

The atmosphere is gloomy.

Did someone die?

"Good evening, Papà."

He nods and gestures to the chair opposite him. "Sit down, please."

I do as he says, wondering for the first time ever if the rumours about him are true. Does he actually enjoy threatening and killing people? Is that how he makes much of his money? The thought of it is discomforting and I shift in my chair, staring at his face which looks like it's carved from stone. It's all hard, rigid planes and angles, and not even is slightly round nose looks soft. His cerulean blue eyes are filled with so many secrets, they're incapable of giving anything away, and his thick, golden hair is pulled back and held together by a gel that smells like sweet tobacco.

"You're not a child anymore, Tricia. You're turning twenty-two in a month's time," he states. "It's time for you to take on your duties and responsibilities."

I adjust myself on my chair again, wondering where exactly he was headed to with this.

"I have found you a man. A noble one. Antonio Dombruso," he looks up at Mother for some weird reason, then faces me again. "You shall marry him, and bring forth heirs to carry on the Volkanov legacy. You have to understand how important this is, darling. You're my first daughter."

"But, papà — "

"I'm not done speaking yet," he cut me off, putting up a hand. "And I shall not condone any objection. Antonio just left here, and I told him you're eager to get to know him better. You've always been a good daughter, my princess. Don't ruin the good perception I have of you now. Go see Antonio. Make an effort. Is that clear?"

Wanting to get out there quickly, I nod begrudgingly. "Yes, papà."

"Good. We're done here."

I want nothing to do with Antonio Dombruso. Out of all my father's men, he's the one I dislike the most. He's been my father's top enforcer since I can remember, and he's almost ten years older than me.

I look up to my mother for help. But I know there's nothing she can't do. She's never challenged Father before. And there's no telling what he'll do to her if she does.

Becoming Antonio's wife means hitting rock bottom. He's a cheesy, misogynistic piece of shit. I've never been a disobedient daughter, but in this situation, the prospect is tempting.

I stand up and walk out, my head hanging like I've just been scolded. As soon as I'm in the comfort of my room, I turn the lock and drop down on the floor with my back against the door, burying my face in between my palms as I let the tears flow. I want to scream. I'm not a child anymore. I should be the one making the decisions regarding my life.

Until recently, I've never questioned my father's activities and his organization. But now I am questioning it deeply. And I'm so sad that my life is affected by it this way.

I resume my previous position on the bed, realizing that I'll also be required to hand over my virginity to Antonio. My family are staunch Catholics, and I've been a good girl who kept the faith since birth. I've never slept with a man.

Sure, I talk to boys and even had a 'relationship' kinda thing with a man once before, but nothing intimate happened.

I didn't want to be the reason why my family's reputation would be smeared.

But now I feel helpless. Even though I've left the dorm, and I'm now back home where I'm allowed to do whatever I please and free, I'm feeling more restricted than ever.

I don't want to give myself to Antonio, or any one of my father's men.

Tossing and turning endlessly, a thought comes to me. Yes. I don't have to give myself to Antonio. The wedding wouldn't be till another week or two is passed, so there's more than enough time for me to choose who my first time will be with.

I can pick a man I'm attracted to, and give him one night.

We don't have to know each other deeply. We just have to be sexually compatible.

Plus, it'll be a 'fuck you' to Antonio, and a gift to myself. One I deserve. Especially as I'm expected to sacrifice my happiness for my father's dark antics.

Antonio is cold, brutal and cruel for me. The thought of him touching me, kissing me — being inside me makes my eyes sting with fresh tears.

I hate it so much.

Sitting up, I run my hand through my hair, deciding to do something about it tonight. I refuse to let Antonio be the first man in me. I may have to marry the bastard, but I'll love to see the shock on his face when he discovers on our wedding night that I'm not a virgin.

That he lost.

No more waiting for orders from father like a little girl. I'm a grown woman, so I'm going to sneak out, find a man I like and fall into bed with him.

My mind made up, I stroll casually into my vanity. Sitting down on the stool, I stare at my reflection in the mirror, then do my make-up darker and grungier than usual. I put on a nice, sexy red dress and also a red, chilly lipstick, take an Uber and go to the other side of town.

The darker side.