Chapter 6

The first thing I should have noticed when I “woke up” was all of the cum sticking to my skin and hair. And I should have noticed I was naked when I knew for sure I’d been wearing a t-shirt and panties. The first thing I actually noticed was how tired I still was. I mean, I’m used to feeling tired all of the time — adulting, am I right? — but this was a tired beyond anything I’d ever felt. It felt like I’d just had the most intense workout of my life.

Which, of course, was absolutely correct.

But, despite my conversation with Faith, my mind wasn’t ready to accept the truth. I lay there for just a moment, wondering how in the world I was going to make it through a full workday, feeling as tired as I did. And then I noticed the cum. And I blamed Oscar. It was ridiculous, of course. There was so much cum, and it was everywhere — in my hair, covering most of my skin, leaking out of my pussy and ass — so there was no way Oscar could be responsible. Half the time when he comes, there’s not enough to fill a thimble, much less coat nearly every square inch of my body.

But I blamed him anyway.

He was still asleep, so I smacked him and asked what the hell he had done.

“I didn’t do anything,” he said, not looking at me and seeing the shape I was in. “I had the weirdest dream, though...”

“Leprechauns?” I asked.

He sat up, turned, and looked at me, his eyes getting wider as he tried to speak but couldn’t.

“I don’t think it was a dream,” I said, speaking the truth that had been there, in the back of my mind, since before I “woke up.”

“You fucked all those leprechauns?” he asked.

“I think I did,” I said, feeling a chill run all through my body. I noticed he was naked now, too, and he hadn’t been for most of the “dream.” “Did... did you fuck any?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. He focused his gaze on something on the floor on my side of the bed and said, “I don’t believe it.”

I looked to where he was looking and saw a gigantic black pot of gold. There was so much of it, piles of gold coins had spilled out all around it.

We both started laughing, despite the realization of what I’d been up to all night.

As we stared at our impossible windfall, a shimmering glow enveloped the pot of gold, and it changed before our eyes. Where once stood a stereotypical leprechaun’s treasure now sat tall stacks of cold, hard, American hundred dollar bills.

“What the fuck?” Oscar asked.

I shrugged. “Easier to use than gold,” I said.

My phone buzzed from my nightstand. Picking it up, I saw a text from Nia. Sorry it’s so early, but just wanted to say I can’t wait until tonight! It’s gonna be a blast! I had no idea what she could mean until I looked at the date. March 17th. Faith was true to her word. I was getting a second chance to have fun on St. Patrick’s Day.

I laughed when I thought there was no way my second chance at fun would be better than my first