Chapter 4: When Love Begins to Hurt

My hand froze in midair.

"...you shouldn't have done that, Adrian."

The woman's voice was soft, almost playful.

I blinked, wondering if I had heard correctly.

Before I could make sense of it, Adrian's assistant, Daniel, called out to me. The moment he saw me, his expression changed slightly.

"Oh, ma'am." He quickly moved in front of the doorway. "You're here to see Mr Adrian?"

I nodded, glancing past him at the partially open door.

"Yes. I brought him lunch."

"Oh, I'm afraid he's in a meeting right now." Daniel gave me a polite smile. "He asked not to be disturbed."

I looked at the door again.

A meeting?

Then why had I heard a woman's voice?

Perhaps one of his female business partners was inside. Adrian worked with plenty of women, after all. There was nothing unusual about that. Even if a woman was in his office, why should I find it strange?

He was my husband. I trusted him.

"Oh, that's fine," I replied, forcing a smile. "I can wait."

Daniel looked momentarily uncomfortable.

"Actually, ma'am, the meeting might take a while. You don't have to wait."

I lowered my gaze to the lunch bag in my hands.

"Oh, I see."

I hesitated before looking up at him again.

Why was I behaving like a suspicious wife who had caught her husband doing something wrong?

"Could you give this to him when he's done?" I asked, handing Daniel the lunch bag. "Please make sure he eats it."

"Of course, ma'am. I'll make sure he gets it."

"Thank you."

I turned to leave, forcing myself to walk at a normal pace. I had barely taken three steps when a woman's laughter floated out from behind the door.

My steps faltered.

What kind of meeting involved that much laughter? Weren't meetings supposed to be serious? Then again, perhaps several people were in the room and someone had said something funny.

That had to be it.

I adjusted my handbag and continued walking, repeating the same explanation in my head.

There was no reason to be suspicious.

None at all.

*****

The driver was about to pull away when I remembered something.

The hospital check-up!

I was supposed to remind Adrian that we had an appointment the next day. If I left without telling him, he might claim he'd forgotten.

"Stop the car, please," I told the driver.

He pulled over, and I got out before returning to the building.

When I reached the elevator, I pressed the button and waited. The doors eventually opened, and a woman stepped out.

I froze.

She wore a short, slit skirt and a blouse that revealed more than it concealed. But that wasn't what caught my attention.

It was the lunch bag in her hand.

My lunch bag.

The same one I'd handed to Daniel to give to Adrian.

My eyes followed the bag as the woman walked past me without so much as a greeting. She didn't look uncomfortable or hurried. She simply carried on as though there was nothing unusual about it.

I stood there, staring after her.

Why did she have Adrian's lunch?

Had Daniel given it to her? If so, why?

And who was she?

A knot tightened in my stomach.

I stepped into the elevator, my earlier excuses growing less convincing with every passing second.

When I reached Adrian's floor, I barely acknowledged Daniel before heading straight for the office.

"Ma'am, you're back?" he called after me.

I didn't answer.

I pushed open Adrian's office door without knocking.

Daniel looked startled, but he said nothing more. He simply left us alone and closed the door behind him.

"Adrian, where is the lunch I brought you?" I demanded.

He looked up from his desk, confusion crossing his face.

"You're back to ask me that?"

"Answer me!" I snapped.

His eyebrows drew together.

"Relax. I've already had lunch, so I gave it to Daniel to make do with."

Make do with?

The words struck a nerve.

I'd spent hours preparing that meal, yet he had handed it off so casually, as though it meant nothing.

Something wasn't right.

Adrian barely ate the food I prepared for him these days. There was always an excuse. He'd eaten at work, he'd had lunch with a business partner, or he simply wasn't hungry.

Now he was telling me he'd given my food to Daniel, yet I'd just seen a woman leaving the building with the very same lunch bag.

Was she coming from Adrian's office?

Who was she to him?

And why did I have the uncomfortable feeling that he was hiding something from me?

"Mira, what happened?" Adrian asked, studying my face. "Why aren't you saying anything? You just came in here shouting at me. You know that, right?"

I swallowed the questions crowding my mind.

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

The apology slipped out before I could stop it, leaving me feeling as though I were the one who had done something wrong.

I drew a slow breath.

"Anyway, I came back to remind you that our hospital check-up is tomorrow."

"All right. Thanks for the lunch."

He returned his attention to his desk as though the conversation were over.

As though I hadn't just stood there questioning why another woman had my food.

As though I were nothing more than a minor interruption to his day.

I turned and walked out without responding.

*****

I leaned back in the car and stared out of the window.

Was I really in a happy marriage?

Adrian came home late, barely touched the meals I prepared, and rarely stood up for me when his mother made my life miserable. Now, even the smallest things seemed to come with an excuse.

Each incident on its own might have meant nothing.

Together, they left me with a question I couldn't answer.

What was happening to my marriage?

My thoughts drifted back five years, to the university campus where everything had begun.

*****

It started on an ordinary Tuesday.

I was rushing between lectures when I saw him leaning against a wall, laughing at something one of his friends had said.

Adrian.

He had that kind of face that made you forget what you were doing.

I remember standing there a second too long, thinking, That's it. That's the one.

Then I hated myself for thinking it.

Because a face like that never belonged to a girl like me.

Not the version of me I let people see, anyway.

I told myself it was nothing. Just a crush. The kind that faded after a semester.

Except it didn't fade.

It grew teeth.

Every time he walked past without looking at me, the same humiliating questions crept into my mind.

Am I not pretty enough? Is there something wrong with me?

I hated how small he made me feel simply by existing near me.

So when the final-year party came around, I made sure I was there.

I hated parties. I hated the noise, the crowds, and the endless small talk that went nowhere.

But Adrian would be there.

And that was reason enough to squeeze myself into the nicest dress I owned, the kind that made people glance twice.

*****

"Madam, we've arrived."

The driver's voice pulled me out of my memories.

I blinked and looked outside. We were already home.

I stepped out of the car, my heart heavy as I thought about what awaited me inside.

Whatever was happening between Adrian and me, I still had to face his mother.

And I had no idea what new reason Mrs Black would find to make my life miserable.

*****

The Next Day

"Mira, wake up."

Adrian's voice dragged me out of my sleep.

I blinked against the morning light and found him already dressed for work.

"Good morning, honey," he said, adjusting his cufflinks. "I have something important to attend to at the office, so you'll have to go to the hospital by yourself."

I pushed myself up against the pillows, still struggling to wake up.

"What about our appointment?"

"You can go ahead without me. You need the check-up more urgently, anyway. I'll do my own tests later, just not today. Something important has come up."

I stared at him, suddenly wide awake.

He wasn't coming?

After everything, he couldn't even spare the time to accompany me to the hospital?

My marriage was beginning to feel like a schedule he followed only when it suited him. He spoke to me when he wanted to, came home when he wanted to, and made decisions without considering me.

Yet we'd promised to spend the rest of our lives together.

What is really going on?

Adrian hadn't always been like this. When we first met, he had made me feel as though I mattered. But after a few months of marriage, I began to notice a different side of him.

I had kept quiet, hoping things would get better.

Even now, I said nothing.

Adrian didn't wait for a response. He picked up his things and walked out, leaving me sitting in bed with a heaviness in my chest.

I stared at the doorway long after he had gone.

*****

Hospital

"Mrs Black, your results show that you're perfectly fine. There's no medical problem that requires treatment at the moment. However, since you're insisting, I'll prescribe some fertility medication. Don't overuse it. Take only one pill every three days."

The doctor handed me the medication.

I accepted it with a tired nod.

"Okay, Doctor. Thank you."

Perfectly fine.

Those were the words I'd heard time and time again.

If nothing was wrong with me, why hadn't I become pregnant? Why was I still waiting to hold my own baby?

My fingers tightened around the medication.

I was tired of hoping every month, only to be disappointed again.

"I understand how you feel, Mrs Black," the doctor said gently. "But we need to remain hopeful."

I lowered my eyes to the medication in my hand.

Hopeful.

How much longer was I supposed to keep hoping?

Then the doctor asked a question that made me look up.

"Has your husband completed his fertility tests?"