Chapter 1

When I returned home, Mom was fastening a moonstone necklace around my sister's neck.

Ryan sat beside them with a half-finished glass of champagne in front of him. Dad had opened a calendar and was asking him when he wanted to hold the mate ceremony.

They all looked toward the door when they heard me come in.

"Why are you still wearing that?" Mom asked when she saw the blanket around my shoulders. She rose and came to the entryway. "Celia said a pack healer already examined you. You're all right, aren't you?"

"I cut my foot."

"Then go change. We're having dinner out tonight to celebrate your sister's courtship agreement."

She took the blanket from me and set it beside the door, already turning back to ask whether Celia's necklace clasp felt secure.

I braced myself against the shoe cabinet and removed my wet shoes. The instant my bare foot touched the floor, Ryan frowned.

"Where are your slippers?"

Before I could find them, he came over, pulled them from the bottom of the cabinet, and placed them at my feet. Only after I put them on did he examine my ankle.

"The patrol only wrapped it in gauze?"

"They treated it first."

He crouched and reached for the bandage. I instinctively pulled back.

"I can change it myself."

His hand stopped. He looked up, his brows drawing together.

"You've never avoided me when I changed your dressings before."

"I have to learn to do it myself eventually."

He rose, his tone hardening. "Fine. Suit yourself."

Celia called for him from the living room, saying Mom wanted another look at the ring. He answered and moved aside to let me pass, though his eyes remained on my injured foot.

"The first-aid kit is upstairs. Don't forget it."

I carried my wet shoes to my room and slowly sat on the edge of the bed. The river had been so cold that my hands were still trembling. It took me several tries to undo the buttons of my clothes.

At this point in my previous life, Ryan had stayed with me. He had wrapped me in his own coat and carried me to the pack healer. He had even brought home my wet clothes.

After that, he began coming to see me often. Sometimes he drove me to class. Sometimes he stopped by only to bring me dinner.

Mom reminded him that Celia had been the sister originally considered for the match. But Ryan said in front of me that he was the one choosing a mate, so the final decision belonged to him.

I had loved him for years. After hearing that, I never thought to question anything else.

Once we became mates, I continued my healer training and eventually began working at the pack clinic. No matter how late his own duties ran, he would still come for me and sit outside the treatment room until I finished with my last patient.

Once, I fell asleep from exhaustion and woke at home while he was taking off my shoes. When I asked why he had not awakened me, he said he had tried, but I had wrapped my arms around his neck and refused to let go.

He laughed when he said it, and I laughed with him.

After Celia died, none of those memories could be mentioned again. Whenever I tried to talk to him, he said that if he had not changed the match, she would never have followed our parents to the border.

"But becoming my mate was your decision."

He sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. After a long silence, he said, "I know."

"Do you regret it?"

He never answered.

Not until the last time he left to lead a mission in the borderlands. I was packing for him when he finally said it.

If he could do it all over again, he would choose my sister.

A knock pulled me from my memories. I wiped my face, fixed my collar, and opened the door.

Ryan stood outside holding the first-aid kit. When I opened the door only a crack, his gaze moved from my face to my feet.

"Change the bandage. You can't leave wet gauze over the wound."

He handed me the kit.

Inside, beside the clean gauze, was a roll of hypoallergenic tape, the same kind we had always kept at home in my previous life.

"How did you know ordinary tape irritates my skin?"

Ryan looked at the roll and hesitated. "You told me before."

I nodded. I told myself he merely remembered how he had cared for me in our last life. Remembering someone's habits did not mean you would choose her again.

Celia called from downstairs to ask whether he had booked the restaurant. He answered her, then turned back to me.

"Use the ointment too. Your sister kept asking about your injury. Don't make her worry."

"I know."

I took the kit and shut the door after he left.

Not long afterward, his voice came through the private channel we had shared within the pack link since we were young.

"Keep your foot dry when you shower."

I lowered my head and unwound the old gauze without replying.

If he wanted my sister in this life, then I could not keep softening whenever he showed me the slightest concern.

Once I had treated the wound, I found Adrian's number on my phone.

Three months earlier, he had sent me a formal courtship proposal. In my previous life, I had written back to say that I loved someone else and could not accept. In this life, that unsent reply was still tucked away in a drawer.

I found Adrian's letter and read it again before calling him.

"Adrian, are you free tomorrow? I'd like to meet with you."