Mag-log inOn Saturday afternoon we went shopping for dinner together, which felt faintly ridiculous and entirely wonderful. We had agreed over breakfast that we would cook that evening, and the grocer's was bright and half empty, with a crate of lemons by the door. Damien took the basket and I took the list, and we moved through the aisles side by side, bumping elbows.At the till, the queue was long enough that I leaned back against him, and he rested his chin on top of my head. His arms came loosely round my waist, and I felt him breathe in the smell of my hair. Nobody looked at us, and I liked that more than I could have said.It wasn't until I started unpacking the bags on the kitchen counter that I noticed what he had bought. There were two fillets of white fish, a bunch of dill, a jar of capers, and a bag of small potatoes. There was no chicken and no rice."Where's the chicken?" I asked."What chicken?""The chicken and rice. The one-pot thing we talked about on Thursday."He stopped wit
"Five minutes here," I said, "or five minutes at home?""Home." He glanced at the stage, at the coffee station, and at a group of people near the doors who were starting to look our way. "Here would be a bad idea. I'd like to be able to take my jacket off.""That's very practical of you.""I was trying to be romantic and it came out wrong.""It's all right. I understood."We collected our coats from the girl at the cloakroom, and I thanked the organizer, who squeezed my hand and told us we had been a pleasure. Damien said something courteous about the lamps, and she laughed. Then we were through the doors, and the afternoon air hit my face, cool and bright. The driver was waiting where he had dropped us, and Damien opened the back door for me and slid in after.The car pulled away from the kerb, and for a moment neither of us spoke. Then he turned to me, and I saw that he had wanted to since we were on stage. He put his hand along my jaw and kissed me, quick and a little clumsy, as if
"He framed a terrible portrait we made one evening," I said."It is not terrible," Damien said at once."It's terrible.""It has character."The interviewer's eyebrows rose, and she looked delighted. "A portrait?" she said. "I think you'd better explain.""We had a sketchbook and a pencil each, and a kitchen," I said. "It was a silly evening. We drew something, and it came out wrong in every possible way, and he put it in a frame. It's in his study now, where he can see it when he's on calls."A warm ripple of laughter went through the audience. Damien made a small, pained sound and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd like it noted," he said, "that it's a very honest likeness.""Of what?""I'm not saying. It's mine.""It's ours.""It's in my study, so it's mine." He glanced at the interviewer, then at the room, then back at me with something wry and wounded in his face. "I don't apologise for it. It's a fine frame.""The frame is lovely," I agreed. "It's the contents I'm concerned about
"She comes home with things she thinks I'd like," he said.The interviewer smiled and tilted her head. "Gifts?""Stories, actually." He rubbed his thumb along the edge of the armrest and glanced at me. "She'll walk in and say, 'You'll like this,' and then tell me something someone said, or something she noticed on the way. Last month she told me about a woman who saved beans from her garden and labelled the envelopes 'Beans' and 'Beans (Better).'"A few people in the audience laughed, softly, and I felt my face grow warm. I had told him that story in the kitchen, with a mug in my hand, and I hadn't thought about it again."That's a strange answer to a question about admiration," I said."Is it?""You were supposed to say something about my work.""I like your work. I like it a great deal." He turned in his chair a fraction, so that he was speaking to me and not the room. "But I've been wondering for three weeks whether the Better beans turned out any better.""You remembered the label
The three weeks went the way ordinary weeks do. He worked his Wednesdays and Thursdays on site and came home with stories about kettles and fire exits, and I spent my days at New Ground and my evenings arguing with him over the washing up. Somewhere in the second week, a yellow sticky note appeared on the damp towel rail that said Effortless, in his handwriting, and I left it there. By the Friday of the event, it had curled at the corners from the steam.I dressed that morning in plum trousers and an ivory silk blouse with a row of tiny buttons down each cuff. They were beautiful buttons and completely impractical, and I held out my left wrist to him, because I couldn't fasten the cuff one-handed. He frowned at it with great seriousness."These are for people with tweezers," he said."They're for people with husbands.""I'm not sure I'm qualified." He got the first button through on the third attempt, then looked up and stayed there, his fingers still on my wrist. His eyes travelled s
"It's in the invitation," I said. "I'm only the messenger."I held the phone out so he could see the screen, and he leaned in until his shoulder pressed against mine. He read the line again, slowly, and glanced at the damp towel, the cold tea, and my abandoned shoes. "Which of us do they think makes it effortless?""I assumed you.""Me? You remembered to take the bins out on Monday.""You remembered the passwords for the thing in the study.""That's not effort, that's memory." He nudged my foot where it rested on his knee. "The towel on the floor is yours, by the way.""The cold tea is yours.""The shoes are definitely yours.""The shoes are a design feature."He laughed, and I scrolled back to the top of the email and read it out properly. It came from a woman who organized an annual professional gathering, a day of talks and panels on community work and leadership. She had followed both our work for some time and wanted to put us on a stage together for a short conversation, about t







