He Chose Tarot Over Our Baby

"Easy, Audrey. Don't be afraid. I'll go to the hospital with you for the abortion." Felix wrapped an arm around my shoulders and gently rubbed my arm.

"Have you forgotten what the doctor said?" I looked straight into his eyes, hoping to see some sign that he still cared. "If I terminate this one, I may never get pregnant again."

He barely reacted. "Medicine has come so far. Don't worry. I'll find you the best specialist in the country."

I couldn't stop trembling. "This is our first child, and it might be our only one. You're the father. How can you be this cruel?"

Claire stood off to the side and pushed up her glasses. "Audrey, we're doing this for Felix's sake. If you love him, you should respect his decision!"

I couldn't stand her smug face for another second. "There's no proof behind anything you say. You're just making things up. Who knows if you really want what's best for him or if you have some other motive?"

Felix's hand fell away from me. His voice turned cold. "Audrey, I'd rather believe her than take the risk. Claire means well. She's doing this for me and the company."

Claire gave him a polite smile. "Thank you for trusting me, Felix. But I think Audrey should have the abortion today."

Felix frowned. "Today? Isn't that too rushed? An abortion is a serious procedure. We should at least choose the hospital carefully."

Claire's tone left no room for argument. "Felix, medicine has come so far. Even a small outpatient clinic can handle an abortion. You don't need to worry."

They discussed my abortion right in front of me as if I wasn't even there. Somehow, I was the only person who had no say in what happened to my own body.

After a moment, Felix looked at me. He seemed torn, but I could already see his answer in his eyes.

"An abortion can do serious damage. Are you sure?" My lips trembled. I hated how desperate I sounded. "Felix, I want this baby."

His Adam's apple bobbed. He did not answer.

Claire answered for him. "What Felix means is that he's very sure."

My legs nearly gave out.

Felix caught me and turned to Claire. "Clear my schedule for today."

Then he leaned closer and lowered his voice. "I'll go with you. Afterward, you'll have the best care money can buy."

Claire coughed to get his attention. "Felix, you can't go to a hospital today. You'll lose money."

A few seconds later, Felix's arm slipped away from me.

Just like that, he'd changed his mind. "Audrey, I'll have the driver take you. Pick whichever hospital you want."

A chill ran through me.

Felix had made his choice again.

One warning from Claire was enough to make him forget everything I felt.

Once, while he was overseas on business, I told him I missed him. He chartered a plane home that very night.

I laughed at him for making such a big deal out of it, but he held my face in both hands and said with complete seriousness, "Anything that has to do with you, I handle myself."

The Felix I used to know had disappeared the day Claire showed up.

So had every promise he'd ever made me.

"Don't bother. If I ride in your car today and your company goes bankrupt tomorrow, Claire will probably blame me for that too."

I ran out of the office, and the tears finally came.

I wandered the streets until dark with nowhere to go. By the time I finally went home, my feet were blistered and bleeding.

The lights were off. Felix had not come home.

Not one call. Not one message.

The last of my strength left me. I collapsed onto the couch and fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning, a wave of nausea jerked me awake.

I made it to the bathroom and threw up until there was nothing left but bile.

I rested a hand over my stomach and thought about the tiny life growing inside me.

What am I going to do? Morning sickness this bad isn't something I can hide.

Just then, my phone chimed with a message. It was from Felix.

"Audrey, Claire says a woman who has just had a termination carries bad energy and attracts bad luck. I'll come see you in a week. Use the card for whatever you want. Don't skimp on yourself."

The message was short, but every word cut like a blade.

And somehow, I had still been foolish enough to hold on to one last bit of hope.

There was no point hiding the fact that I had not had the abortion.

I stroked the small curve of my stomach.

"Don't be scared, baby. Mommy is going to get you out of here."