Chapter 2

Back in my room, I sat there and let the doctor scold me. When he went to redo the IV, he called Chloe in.

The moment she stepped inside and saw the room was empty, the softness vanished. She came to my bedside and said, lazy and superior, "Let me be honest with you. Adrian chased me. I turned him down at first, you know."

She picked up the syringe and slid the needle in clean on the first try. "Don't think I stole your man. He stopped wanting you on his own. He says you used to have dreams too, and then you turned into some shapeless housewife, and he just couldn't take it anymore."

She finished, looked up, and smiled. "If you'd kept it together a little sooner, he never would've looked at me. Right?"

I gripped the blanket and held her eyes. "You don't act like this in front of him."

She glanced back, bored and looking down at me. "So what?"

Adrian pushed the door open just then. Chloe threw herself into his arms, voice cracking. "Adrian, I shouldn't have come."

She bit her lip like she was holding back something enormous. "Me being here only makes you both look bad. I only wanted to help."

She let the rest of the sentence die in her throat. That straining not to fall apart was more pitiable than open crying.

Adrian held her tight, on edge, and looked back at me with plain disgust. "Could you act like an adult? Chloe came to treat your wound. Is this necessary? You used to be so reasonable. When did you turn into someone who can't be reasoned with?"

I opened my mouth and found I had nothing to say. If I told him Chloe had just mocked me, he'd only think I'd lost my mind.

I looked at her, performing exhaustion in his arms, and I couldn't understand it. I asked him outright why, why her, and not me.

He cut me off, furious. "Open your eyes. Look at yourself, then look at her. Chloe's up at six for night classes, then the library after her shift. You? When did you last hold a scalpel? When did you last open a medical journal? You used to say you'd go to Syria, to Africa, that you'd treat every disease no one else could. And now you let the nanny give your own daughter her medicine."

"She has the woman you used to be in her. That's who I loved. And you lost her." His voice dropped, almost to himself. "Do you know, the first time you told me you wanted to work in a war zone, I thought I only wanted to spend my life with this one woman?"

He paused, then turned his face away. "But that woman's gone."

The words were a blade. I wanted to scream: you told me not to go. You said Annie couldn't live without me. You knelt by my bed and begged me to stay home. But not one word would come out, only a thin, useless laugh.

Angry that I'd sought Chloe out, he clamped his hands over her ears and steered her out of the room.

He left me one last line. "She outshines you. She has every good thing you used to have, and none of the flaws you have now."

I sat on the bed. After a long while, I laughed.

I laughed at how stupid I'd been. At how much I'd wanted it to be real.

I'd marched myself, by my own will, from frontline surgeon to housewife.

Ten years. I'd turned myself from a woman who could suture under gunfire without blinking into Mrs. Vance, who never lifted a finger.

And all it bought me was betrayal, and one sentence.

She outshines you. That one finished off whatever was left of my heart.

I sat numb until evening, until the phone rang.

"Ms. Lowell, your daughter spiked a high fever tonight. She keeps calling your name."

I bolted up and ran to the other hospital.

Annie had a serious heart condition. Adrian had specialized in cardiology because of her.

I called him. The second it connected, I caught Chloe's voice in the background. "Who is it? It's so late. Not that woman who keeps hounding you?"

Adrian rushed out "It's nothing, just a telemarketer," and hung up.

So I would face our daughter's condition alone.

I'd barely made it out the door when I ran into Adrian, holding two cheap street-stall buns, coaxing Chloe. "You worked late, you must be starving. Have these to tide you over."

Chloe beamed, glowing. "I'm not picky. If you bought it, I'll love it."

But in the half-second he turned to pay, she caught my eye, pressed a finger to her lips, shh, then pointed at his back and gave a silent little laugh before sliding her sweet face back on.

I begged him to come see Annie with me.

"Adrian, hurry, Annie—"

"Get away from me, Vivi. I barely know you."

"I don't care whether you know me. Annie's in trouble. You're coming to the hospital next door with me right now."

"What?" Panic flickered across his face. He pulled out his phone and made a call. A few seconds later he rounded on me, shouting. "Enough. You'd drag Annie into your lies just to make me leave with you. You're insane."

I stared. He wrapped an arm around Chloe.

"Don't believe her. Look how good you are. You never play games, you never use anything to back me into a corner. The Vivi I married was gentle and sensible like you. A shame she changed. But you won't, will you? You'll always be exactly this."

Chloe nestled against him, tilted her face up, and said quietly, "Mm. I'll always be like this."

As she said it, her eyes went past his shoulder and found mine, and the corner of her mouth curved up.

"Ms. Lowell, he's going back to my hometown to treat my father. Let him go. You just had appendix surgery. You should rest."

The second she mentioned it, the incision in my stomach felt like it was being stirred, flesh and bone.

I laughed under my breath and looked up at Adrian. "You're really leaving with her?"

He was distant, watching me like a stranger. "I'm Dr. Bennett's assistant. Treating patients is my job."

"Don't get emotional, Vivi. Don't stand here playing cold and blocking us."

They walked away. I watched them go, almost folding, then forced myself upright on shaking legs.

And ran for the hospital next door.