I’ve never dreaded doing something as much as I do today. After a torturously short weekend, I find myself sitting in the parking garage outside of the office building, wishing that I had stayed home.
I should’ve called in sick or used my PTO hours…
I don’t know how I’m supposed to face him. It was easier before. I stayed out of his way, and he tolerated me. Now? Now, I don’t know if things are going to go back to how they were or if they should—if they ever could.
With heavy steps, I somehow manage to find my desk twice as fast as usual.
Well, it feels that way, anyway.
Between brief good mornings, the rest of the team sporadically trickle in, settling at their desks before 8:30AM—except for Cade.
He’s never late…
I’m not the only one that notices. Krina furrows her eyebrows, glancing up at his empty office.
“Pst.&rdq
“Oh! Can we get a to-go boxes, please?” Krina kindly asks the waiter before he excuses himself.As promised, Krina invited me to have lunch with her today. Between shoving bread rolls down our throats and a long conversation about the upcoming IPv6 migration project, we hardly touched our food.I regret none of it. Those were the best bread rolls I’ve had in my entire life.The waiter returns swiftly with boxes and receipts for Krina to sign. “Thank y’all so much. Y’all have a great day!” he says with a warm smile.I offer him a small smile, averting my gaze to the half-eaten steak and rice as I slide it into the foam carry-out box.“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but…” Krina pauses as she packs her plate. I look up and meet her curious gaze. “Do you have a boyfriend?”That didn’t take her very long.I’m not surprised by her question.
It’s not a date. There are people who are punctual–like me. I’m always conscious of time, a sticker for being on schedule. Then, there are people who are not so punctual–like Cade. He believes that punctuality is only warranted for things that ‘matter’ or are ‘important’. Does this fall under the category of ‘important’? It’s 5 minutes to 8PM, and I’ve switched out cardigans twice and rearranged the cushions on the couch four times. I’m not in denial. I’m very aware of how nervous this shouldn’t make me. I’m also very aware of how unnecessarily anxious I am, and if there were a way to cope by merely acknowledging my discomfort, I wouldn’t be pacing so much between re-doing chores that I had already done the moment that I got home. At Bubbles’ very audible sigh, I snap my eyes to meet his beautiful golden-brown ones. “You’re just tired of my shit, aren’t you?” I ask sarcastically. As if on cue, a knock echoes t
Cade’s words hang heavy in the air between us, the reality of the implications of his father’s actions sinking in. I search his face, hoping to find a sign of the man I once knew, a man haunted by the ghosts of a past he can’t remember.It’s like I’m sitting with a stranger…I part my lips to speak, desperate to try to find the words to bridge the growing chasm between us, but I falter. How do you rebuild trust when the very foundation doesn’t exist anymore? How do you move forward when the past is one big mess with holes of missing memories?I take a shaky breath, my fingers twisting together anxiously in my lap. I know I should say something, anything, to reassure him, to prove that I’m still the woman he once loved, the woman he can trust. But the words hitch in my throat, trapped behind the knot of fear and uncertainty.But I’m not the same person I was.My hesitation must
⊰ Cade ⊱The soft glow of Elysian’s apartment envelops us as we sit across from each other, the weight of our past hanging heavy in the air. I search her face, trying to reconcile the woman before me with the hazy memories that dance just out of reach.Now, sitting here, looking at her,reallylooking at her, she looks different than I remember. Her features are more refined, her eyes holding a depth of pain and wisdom that wasn’t there before.I can see it on her face, the desire to have a conversation but unsure of where to start. I clear my throat, searching her soft features. “Tell me something,” I say softly. “Besides how obviously beautiful and smart you are…what was it about you that made me fall in love with you?”I watch as a flush creeps up her neck, coloring her cheeks a delicate pink. She clears her throat, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her cardigan before s
⊰ Cade ⊱As the silence sinks between us, the weight of our history settling over us, I find myself struggling to reconcile the man I am now with the man I was then—the man who loved Elysian with every fiber of my being.The memories are still hazy, the details blurred and uncertain, but the emotions they evoke are as real and powerful as ever. I look at Elysian, taking in the pain and longing etched into every line of her face, and I feel a desperate need to bridge the chasm between us.I want to find a way back to the connection we once shared, even if it means starting from scratch.The words leave my mouth before I can stop them, a plea and prayer all in one. “Elysian,” I say quietly, my voice raw with emotion. “Do you think we could ever be friends again? After everything that’s happened?”I see it in her face: my question strikes her in a way she wasn’t expecting. Her eyes widen as sh
Rain. I watch it fall through the window of my dorm room, leaning against the wall beside it as I kneel on my bed, my legs tucked beneath my weight. The tears that stain my cheeks feel cold against my skin, gathering at my chin and dripping onto the hand-written letter sitting on my lap. My lip trembles, a soft sob passing my lips as my eyebrows furrow, the bridge of my nose stinging.What did I do..?My gaze falls to the piece of paper, and through my hazy vision, I re-read the lines over and over again: ‘Ely, I’ve been staring at this sheet of paper for the past two hours, unsure of how to tell you what I need to say. Ely, my dearest Ely, I love you. I will always love you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You see, I once dreamt about you. Before we met, I had a dream about meeting you. You were standing near the waterfall of our favorite park, wearing that bitsy blue dress of yours that I love so much, and you looke
I groan at the soft instrumental music blasting from my phone, my restless eyes fluttering open. I spent the better part of the night tossing and turning, wondering if the man that I saw last night actually was who I think he was. I’m probably trippin’. … I am exhausted… It’s as though I can feel the bags under my eyes as I pull the teal colored bed sheets from over my body, my unoccupied hand silencing my phone. The heavy sighs that erupt from a sleepy Bubbles laying on his beige orthopedic dog bed makes me side-eye him, wondering what could possibly ale my favorite unemployed freeloader. Per usual, I go about my daily routine: feed Bubbles, make the bed, brush my teeth, shower, throw on a pair of boot-cut jeans with a nice long-sleeve blouse, and I put on my eyebrows. Okay, that’s a little bit of an exaggeration. I’m actually just filling them in. I lengthen my eyelashes with mascara, brush and blow-dry my shiny, waist-length, black, straight hair while I pray for a frizz-
It’s as if the world has stood still and time’s been frozen. With my breath caught in my lungs and my heart thumping loudly in my ears, my eyes gloss as a 6-foot-tall, lean, muscular Cade approaches Krina and I. The familiar scent of his favorite cologne—Creed’s Royal Oud—a scent I once found comfort in, now making my stomach churn. “Good morning,” he says softly, his voice as deep as I remember, as he brings his black thermo cup up to his lips. In his navy blue suit, white button-up shirt and navy blue tie, he stands before us, looking at Krina. He nods at her as he takes a sip of what I assume is coffee before he shifts his gaze to meet my own. “Oh! She’s the new junior engineer that Jeremy hired months ago. She just moved here from Florida,” she tells him, pausing momentarily with a thoughtful look on her face. “Hey…aren’t you from Florida? Ha! Small world, I guess…” her voice trails off. Cade arches a brow at her, chuckling softly. “Well, welcome to the team, Miss…?” He do