The first silence that didn't hurt

Nyla's POV

I stiffened in confusion, frozen between flight and collapse.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low but steady

I kept mute,

He sighed, scanning through the street. “Come with me, You look like you need... a second to breathe.”

I should have said no,I should have run but I didn't,instead I followed him like a lost puppy looking for its owner.

~~~

The hotel room smelled like lemon soap mixed with freshly peeled apples. The room was dim and quiet.He booked a room,paid in cash and fortunately nobody asked who we were. 

Neither of us asked.

I cleaned up in the bathroom,trying to  scrub away the dried scent of blood, the sweat, the ash of everything I had  lost. When I came out, he was waiting with two little glass cups filled with cheap whiskey from the minibar.

He didn't utter a word but  simply handed me one of the glasses.

I stared at it for a second, hesitating. What if it is actually poison?.I took it after taking a deep long breath.

We clinked glasses, I drank mine  too fast and instantly regretted it.The burn in my throat was the first real thing I felt all day.

“You don’t drink much, do you?” he said with a faint smile.

“Not  really ,” I mumbled, pouring myself another glass. Then another glass, then another glass making it four in a row.

The room grew warmer and smaller as well,I was beginning to feel tipsy.

I reached for the bottle again and his hands brushed against mine but I didn't pull away,it felt warm and for some seconds I felt protected.

I looked at him,his grey eyes holding so many emotions I couldn't read,his mouth curved like he was used to holding back words. His lips were full and plump and right at that instant,I wanted him to kiss all my pains away.

No, I needed him to and then he leaned in slowly, giving me time to back out,but I didn’t,I didn't wanted it.

I pulled  him in  first.And just like that….I didn’t know what I was doing,one second I was empty, the next….I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t kissing him. I was surviving,pulling  him toward me, our mouths moving like we were trying to devour the silence between us.

His lips brushed against mine softly, carefully, like he wasn’t sure if I would vanish the second he touched me.

At that moment, I didn’t care about the consequence of my action. I didn’t care that I didn’t know his name or where he is from.. I just needed something…..someone…..to hold onto. Something to remind me that I was still here. Still breathing.

He pulled back slightly, his forehead now resting against mine,he held his breath with his eyes tightly closed.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a deep husky voice, not more than a whisper sending shivers down my spine.

I nodded, even though I wasn’t really okay. Not really. But what was I supposed to say to him?

That my family were all murdered in a night? I watched my sister die?My father told me to run with his last breath?No words could hold that much weight.

He didn’t push for answers and I felt relieved.

Instead, he helped me lie down on the big king sized bed, pulling the duvet  up over the  both of us like we were just two strangers who had missed the storm and found a warm place to crash the night.

We didn’t speak as we silently laid there.We just lay there, the distant sound of the city buzzing outside the window.

At some point, he reached for my hand under the blanket and I let him. And when he gently laced his fingers with mine, I held on like it was the only thing tethering me to this cruel cold world.

Neither of us asked questions,just silence and the steady rise and fall of his chest beside me.We lay there for a long time without saying anything.I shifted slightly, turning toward him.

He looked at me like he was trying to memorize this version of me,the quiet and broken  girl who had nothing left but this one moment.

“Are you sure you are okay?” he asked again softly, his thumb brushing the back of my hand.

I nodded yet again,at this point he might be wondering if I could actually speak or not from all the nodding. His lips landed on mine slowly, softly.

It wasn’t about lust,It wasn’t even about him I just needed something real and something that didn’t hurt to touch.

He pulled in deeper, slow and tender, his fingers brushing against my cheek like I was something fragile.

We didn’t even talk about it. Just peeled off layers of clothing we couldn’t carry anymore.We didn’t talk,we just touched and maybe it  said enough words.

We weren’t supposed to need each other, but maybe that’s why it worked. We didn’t plan this. We just… broke quietly, side by side.

It wasn’t wild. It wasn’t perfect.It was gentle. It was temporary.A single breath in time, where the past didn’t chase us and the future didn’t exist.When it was over, he held me in his arms.

With his arms tightly wrapped around me protectively,I felt peaceful.