Chapter 6

Continuing the holiday? On my own?

I don't know. I’m not really in the mood to do anything other than climb into bed again and this time crying my eyes out… why hadn’t I cried yet?

Have I finally reached the next stage and can cry? I really do feel like I should be crying.

Is it shock?

Have I just not processed it properly?

Or am I just an emotionless psycho?... that had me smile at myself.

I know I love… no, loved him.

Yeah, I just have to be in shock, and the emotions just haven't hit. I can be a bit slow at realizing things. Just like my childhood… or maybe thanks to my childhood, I was waiting for this to go south?

Well... I’m down to my underwear in public, not worried about my wobbly bits. So, could be shock...

Burning starting behind my eyes, finally indicating that tears want to appear. The new problem being that if I start crying, I probably won’t stop and will probably be committed.

That would be another first on a holiday.

So many things ticked off my bucket list of things I NEVER wanted to happen on a holiday… except hotty…

A throat clears behind me.

I just ignored it and continued to stare at the water and telling the tears they can wait now. They took their time, so now they can wait until I'm ready. Because that always works.

The sun shining on the water was beautiful, which was a great distraction. It also made it easier to ignore all the other people on the beach.

“What are you doing?” A deep voice with a thick Italian accent called from behind me and that’s when I realized he was definitely talking to me.

“Trying to wash away the disaster that is my life.” I called back with a laugh that sounded hollow.

There was silence for a moment.

“Were you drugged?” What?

That made me sit up a bit, but still covered by the water, and turn around to look at the voice.

He was hot… of course, they all seemed to be hot around here, but his expensive suit screamed more last night than being on a sandy beach. Do a lot of Italians go for a walk on the beach before they start work?

“No. Just drank myself into oblivion, ALSO trying to wash my disaster of a life away. Bit of a theme since last night,” I replied and turned back to look out at the water.

“Why?”

I can’t explain why I told him everything, but once my mouth opened, it was just word vomit, as if releasing it and hoping the ocean washed it away. “So… in the end, I could be a cheater even if I told him we were done. I don’t know if he took it as real or not. And he is probably cheating on me anyway… NO. I am almost positive he has been cheating on me anyway, and I’m a stupid idiot who ignored every red flag hitting me in the damn face.”

There was silence again, but I didn’t turn around.

Hopefully he left me in my misery. I had already made a fool of myself around one hot guy that I practically ran away from and don’t need to make it all worse.

Worse… would be just my luck.

Where’s a great white shark when you need one?

“Come. I have a towel, and you can’t stay in there forever.” Double what?

“Thank you, but I just need some time alone. Sorry to be rude.”

“Not rude, but you need to get out and face this.”

“No, thanks.”

I’ve decided I live here now. It’s easier, so much easier and a great white shark should come along shortly, shouldn’t it?

Actually, do I want to go out by shark? That sounds rather horrific. Something quicker and less dramatic would be nicer.

What would be easier and quicker? But then I probably would have to get out…

“You don’t have a choice. I will send in one of my men if you don’t come out.”

Groaning, I turned to look at him again. “Why? Why can’t you just leave me alone and let me be miserable?” His cold eyes warmed a little as the corner of his mouth twitched before he held up the towel, practically hiding behind it. “You didn’t answer the question.” I deadpanned.

“I will answer it once you’re out.”

I wonder if the hotty has such a hot accent. I think he did, a brief memory coming back... yep he did, but hotter… stop thinking about him. It doesn’t matter if he did or didn’t. My poor aching core and I will not see him again.

It’s best that way.

But I suppose I do have to face this and need to go and get clean clothes. “I only have my bra and undies on. Can everyone else turn around or just close your eyes, please.”

He moved and must have nodded or something behind the towel as the other men turned around to face another direction.

The beach had a few people on it… I really didn’t think this through... Oh well, another thing to prove this trip is nothing but a disaster. May as well see if I can be charged with indecent exposure to add to my list.

Although, my bra and undies, sorry, G-string, are probably more cover than some of the bikinis I’ve seen. Stupid me only bought ‘sexy’ lingerie. This is so embarrassing...

My head started to ache again as I started to move. I’d almost forgotten about that… and my stomach. They decided to come back to remind me of my bad decisions.

Oh… not good. Not good. Breath… Nice and slow… Breath.

Oh, and don’t forget my poor core that had a big workout last night. She was certainly making sure I remembered her.

Gingerly getting to the towel, while trying to cover as much as I could with my hands, I quickly grabbed it and wrapped it around myself.

“Now what?” I groaned, hanging my head like a naughty kid.

“Now we get you dressed, fed, and you tell me how you met my cousin.” The sharp edge at the end of that sentence had my head whip back.

“The hotty is your cousin?”

His brow arched as he gave a small nod. The easiness on his face had gone... really gone! Eyes that would freeze you where you stood, gone. Fuck! I need to go find that shark.

“I met him at the bar. He was as wasted as I was. We slept together, then I left this morning. The end.”

“Wasted?”

“Yes drunk. I had at least six glasses too many of wine and he must have had the same. He was leaning against the wall near the toilets when I came out. Some chick on her knees calling him master… oh…” I know my eyes went wide when it finally dawned on me what she was doing. “Oh… I might have laughed at her. Sorry. Is she, his sub? He kissed me first, though, then pulled me with him. I didn’t start it. Fuck. I don’t want any more problems. I already have enough. I'm so sorry I didn't realize what was happening and just... Fuck!”

Great! Just great!

Fuck!

So hotty is Dom hotty or Master hotty and is pissed because, in his drunken state, he went after me rather than his submissive. I walked into a BDSM scene and fucked it up.

That’s not my fault!

How did this get worse?