Our little house

By the time evening rolls by, I come to the realization that I had no way to contact Axel. It's not like the prince of the pack ever gave me his phone number. He barely gave me a second glance in the last five years.

I already told my mom I would go to the library to study for a test, so now I have to play the part and get out. But where? Do I wait outside like an abandoned pup? What if he doesn't show up? What if I continue to be consumed by the thought of him for another day?

Damn this mate bond! Damn this absolute lack of control I have over my own heart! And damn this hope that refuses to get crushed!

Just as all of this is running through my mind, I receive a text from an unknown number.

"Can I ask you a favor?" Is the message.

I stare at it for a moment, before replying.

"Who's this?"

"Axel." the reply comes in an instant.

"How did you get my number?"

"The pack files. All the information about everyone is there."

Well, that makes perfect sense. I relax a little.

"What favor?"

"Wear the dress tonight."

Now I start to look around, wondering if Axel had developed from a bully to a stalker. I send him a dozen question marks and it takes him a bit to answer.

"Caroline stopped by and told me that she saw you buying the dress she was talking about. She was pissed, so I guess it was a pretty one. Can you wear it tonight? Please?"

I can't help but smile, thinking about Caroline's annoyance, but I still have an itchy feeling about this.

"Wouldn't you want to see your girlfriend in that dress? Or did she wear something prettier at your anniversary date?" I tap the message, but I hesitate to send it. I don't know what passive-aggressiveness will solve, but... I press send. I don't want him to think I'm good being some side-piece. That would be the only thing worse that the rejection.

Axel takes so long to text back that I think he won't.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

So no more about the dress? I almost feel disappointed he didn't pick on my provocation. But it doesn't matter. We can talk about everything tonight and put this messy business to a rest.

I take a look in my closet. The dress is staring at me. But if I wear it... do I seem desperate? I do want to see his face though... And he doesn't have to know it's THE dress. It could be a casual dress from my closet that I just threw on. Right? RIGHT?!

I do throw a blazer over, because it's not that warm outside and the backless top is a bit much and when I look in the mirror, I barely recognize myself. It looks beautiful, but it’s not me, it’s who I wanted to be a long time ago.

When I get outside, Axel is waiting for me. The car is not his usual one and he wears sunglasses, even though it's dark.

"Are you here incognito?" I ask, ignoring how dazzling his smile is when he sees me.

"You shine brighter than the sun. I need these so I don't get blind." he jokes and opens the door for me. From the slight tremor of his hand, he’s not as relaxed as he wants to appear, but we are both wearing masks tonight so I say nothing.

I just roll my eyes and think to myself, if he wouldn't be hot, he would be a creep.

"Where are we going?" I asked after we drove for a while, leaving the city behind.

"Somewhere special, I promise." Axel answered vaguely, but an excited smile spread on his face.

"Is this the part where you murder me?"

"No way. There are far more interesting things that I would love to do to your body. Murder? That is way too boring."

I don't know if I should laugh or shout at him, so I settle on hitting his arm and rolling my eyes while he laughs.

Finally, we pull in front of a small cottage on a hill. It doesn't seem obnoxiously luxurious, like everything else around Axel is, but it has a calm and welcoming feeling to it.

"Is this the spot you're bringing girls?" I ask, half joking, half curious, but he surprises me by looking offended.

"You are the first one that sees this place. The only one!" He emphasized. "I found this place years ago. It was an old border post that got abandoned when we extended. I reconditioned it myself. It's my hiding spot."

"What do you have to hide from?"

"Pressure... I am the future Alpha. That comes with a lot of expectations. I have to be a lot of things, and if I fail... well, that may endanger not only my life, but the pack. And I do love the pack. I would do anything for them, but... I sometimes need to be... me." He explains, staring at the little cottage with unmasked affection.

Seeing this side of Axel, my stubbornness melts a little, and I get closer, tacking his hand into mine.

"I don't know much about being a future alpha, but... I think you deserve to be free sometimes. Free to fail or make mistakes when no one is watching." I say, even though a voice inside me, a voice that sounds terribly like my old self, shouts that he deserves nothing. The mate bond proves powerful enough to shush that voice fast enough. And whatever lingers behind it, I snuff it, telling myself that this is the only chance I’ll ever get to belong in my father’s pack. I won’t fuck it up!

Axel’s face twists into an ironical smile, like he could hear my thoughts too.

"Do I deserve it? Feels weird to hear that from you..."

"From me?" Who even is me anymore? It feels like I don’t exist outside of him.

"I bullied my own mate, Rose... Hell, I almost got you killed once or twice. Since I found out, it... it keeps me awake at night... What if I would have killed you? I would have spent my life searching for my mate, not knowing why..." Axel shakes his head. "Let's go inside."

I nod and let him lead the way, not sure what else to do. Yes, he bullied me and I should be glad that he feels horrible about it. But the look in his eyes, the tremor in his voice... Seeing my mate like that makes my heart ache.

The inside of the cottage is... unexpected, to say the least. Everything looks so comfortable and soft under the warm light of the string bulbs. The colors are bright and chaotic, like a child decorated the room.

Axel scratches the back of his neck, a bit embarrassed.

"I... those things... Most of them don't match... I just bring everything I like here and keep it."

I chuckle, until the realization comes to me. What he likes? Actually likes? Not forced to accept?

My heart starts pounding in my chest like a drum that has lost all its rhythm. Axel looks at me, his eyes devouring every inch of my skin that shows until they reach my mouth.

I part my lips, wanting to call out his name, but I almost whisper another… Damon. Damon… Who was he? A dream, I guess.

I close my mouth and look up at Axel, at my mate, my one chance to happiness.

He licks his lips and slowly approaches me, like he wants to give me time to run away.

But I don't... I can't turn away now. I am forever trapped inside those beautiful green eyes and I can't even find the power to be ashamed anymore. What would be the point? I already choose my path.

Good Goddess... what have you done?