Chapter 4: what breaks

The Grandview Hotel - Reservations. A confirmation email from three days ago. Room 512. Check-in 6 PM, check-out 11 AM.

Three days ago, when he’d texted: Jensen’s having a meltdown. Gonna be another late one.

I scrolled through his email. Another confirmation. Two weeks ago. Another. Three weeks ago Another. Another, Another.

A new email notification popped up.

Kelly Martinez: Last night was amazing Can’t stop thinking about you. Same time next week?

Months of emails. Flirty, then sexual, then intimate. Inside jokes. Pet names. Photos. Kelly in a hotel room, Marcus’s arm visible the watch I’d given him catching the light. Kelly in lingerie a message below it : For when you’re stuck at home.

Stuck at home That’s what I was.

I closed the laptop carefully,hands trembling so badly I nearly dropped it.

walked to the bathroom, and vomited.

When Marcus came home that night at 9:30 

"Sorry babe, traffic was insane" I was sitting on the couch, the ultrasound photo face-down on the coffee table, his laptop beside it.

"Hey," he said, stopping short when he saw my expression. "Everything okay?"

"You left your laptop this morning."

I watched the color drain from his face Watched him look at the laptop, then at me, calculating how much I'd seen, how much he could talk his way out of.

"Eleanor"

"Kelly Martinez." My voice was eerily calm. "That's her name, right? The one you've been spending our money on? The one you've been staying in hotels with while telling me you're at Brody's?"

"It's not it's not what you think"

"What I think?" The calm cracked. "I saw the emails, Marcus the photos. the hotel reservations

 Months of them…Months."

"Okay." He held up his hands, the same gesture he used with difficult clients. Placating Condescending. "Okay, yes. I've been seeing someone. But it's….it's not serious It's just"

"Just?" I stood and he actually took a step back. "You've been having an affair for months and it's just?"

"It doesn't mean anything! It's just physical, it's" He ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. "You've been so distant lately, so stressed, and she's just"

"I'm PREGNANT!" The scream ripped out of me. "I've been distant because I'm growing your child and trying to figure out why my husband keeps lying to me!"

"I know, I know and I'm sorry"

"You're SORRY?" I laughed, high and broken. "You're sorry? That's it?"

"What do you want me to say?" His frustration was showing now, the mask slipping. "Yes, I fucked up. Yes, I've been seeing Kelly. But it's over, okay? I'll end it. We'll work on us For the baby."

"For the baby." I felt tears streaming down my face. "Not because you love me. Not because you want to. For the baby."

"Of course I love you"

"Don't." I held up my hand. "Don't lie to me anymore. I can't I can't take anymore lies."

Silence stretched between us, heavy and suffocating.

"So what do you want to do?" he finally asked.

And that was the question, wasn't it?

What did I want?

I wanted him to be different. To be the man I'd married, the one who'd proposed on a beach and promised forever. I wanted him to choose me. To choose our baby. To choose our family.

But that man didn't exist. Maybe he never had.

My hand moved to my stomach, protective, instinctive.

"I need you to leave," I said quietly. "Tonight. Stay at Brody's. Or a hotel you're clearly comfortable with those I don't care Just go."

"Eleanor"

"GET OUT!"

He flinched. Then nodded. "Okay…. Okay. We'll talk tomorrow when you've calmed down."

When you've calmed down.

Like I was being unreasonable. Like my anger was the problem.

I watched him pack, watched him pause at the bedroom door like he might say something meaningful. Something real.

He didn't.

"I really am sorry," he said instead. Empty words I knew were simply currency he thought would buy his way back in.

Then he was gone.

I sank onto the bed and wrapped my arms around myself, around the tiny life growing inside me, and cried until I had nothing left.

He came back three days later.

I'd spent those days in a haze. Called in sick to work. Ignored calls from everyone except Zara, who came over with takeout and wine I couldn't drink and held me while I sobbed out the whole story.

"Leave him," Zara had said firmly. "I'll help you 

You can stay with me. We'll figure this out."

"I'm pregnant," I whispered. "I'm pregnant and alone and"

"You're not alone. You have me And babe, you'll be a better single mother than staying with a man who treats you like this."

But I wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to blow up my life, to be a single mother, to admit failure.

So when Marcus came back flowers in hand, apologies rehearsed I let him.

"I ended it," he said, sitting across from me at our dining table like we were negotiating a business deal. "Told Kelly it was over. Blocked her number I'm sorry, Eleanor. I was stupid Selfish. But I want to make this work. For you and For our baby."

He said the right words. Hit all the right notes.

And I was so tired. So pregnant So scared of doing this alone.

"No more lies," I said.

"No more lies."

"No more hotels. No more 'working late' without proof."

"Done. I promise."

"If I catch you cheating again"

"You won't. I swear. I'm all in. I want this family."

I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted to believe him so badly.

So I did.

Or I tried to.

Two weeks later, things felt almost normal.

Marcus was home by 7 PM most nights. He asked about my doctor's appointments. He talked about baby names and researched cribs. He was trying.

Or at least, that's what he wanted me to think.

But I start to notice things again.