Back to reality.

LOU

The moment I clicked the door shut behind me, every instinct in my body screamed at me to run down the hallway, past the stairs, through the back exit, out into the cold night air, and to just keep going until New York became a blur behind me.

But I didn't, because running is what the old Lou Bennett would have done, and I am no longer her.

Rather, I walked, my steps slow and measured. I steadied my breath, raising my chin and shoulders, the same way I had learned to move on that stage.

The hallway behind the Vip suites was dim, lined with silver-trimmed mirrors that reflected my image as I walked. An image, even I was still trying to recognize, pale skin, dark eyes, and bold makeup.

I paused in front of one of the mirrors, and for a split second, I saw her. The old Lou Bennett, the girl who used to sit on the library floor, face buried in books larger than her hands, while an enormous pile sat right next to her. The girl who was too naive to believe the rich cocky bastard was in love with her…

And the girl who loved him right back.

My jaws clenched hard, “No.” I whispered to my reflection, my voice barely audible over the muffled bass in the background. “She's gone.”

I straightened, ridding my face of every emotion and shifting my expression back into composure.

“Raven!” I turned at the sound of my stage name, fully slipping my mask into place.

Vito, the floor manager, was striding towards me, tablet in hand, and face flushed with excitement. “Where have you been? You're needed back on stage. VIP requests are insane tonight.”

“I got held up,” I replied smoothly.

Vito didn't question it, seemingly too excited to notice anything wrong. His eyes scanned me from up to down, making sure everything was still perfect. He gave a satisfied nod, and cleared his throat, “Listen, Mr Ryder’s suite…He is…”

“I know who he is,” I cut in, almost too quickly.

Vito raised a brow, but shrugged it off a second later, “Right. Well, be careful around him. He's not someone you want to mess with.”

A scoff threatened to escape my throat; that warning was coming five years too late, but I held it back, giving a nod instead. “I’ll manage.”

“Good, now get back on stage.” He said, eyes darting forward as he moved past me.

I exhaled slowly, my fingers curling into a fist, as I finally let out the scoff. “Mr. Ryder.”

The name sounded wrong, polished to hide away the past. Jaxon, my lifelong mistake.

My chest tightened at the thought of him, the way he said my name back in the suite, as though it meant something.

Heaving a sigh, I made a quick stop at the dressing room to fix my makeup.

Getting to my table, my phone buzzed in my bag as if it had been waiting for my presence. I reached in and pulled it out, the name on the screen bringing a smile to my face.

Swiping the green icon, I brought it to my ear, “Hey, Hon.”

“Mommy!”

I jerked in my seat, the loud childish squeal reverberating in my head. My heart skipped a beat as I glanced behind me to see if anyone else had walked in.

Seeing that it was safe, I returned to the call, “Hey, baby.” I called, steadying my voice to sound calm despite the fear rising in my chest.

“Mommy, when are you coming home? Uncle Mark made dinner tonight, it was Yuck!” Riley, my four-year-old, witty son, said over the phone, and I could already imagine him making cute little faces.

“I am sorry, my love, mommy had some important work to do. But don't worry, by morning I will be by your side, and I will make you a spectacular breakfast.”

“You promise?” His tiny voice rose with excitement.

“You can count on mommy.”

“Okay, mommy.” Riley let out a groan, and then Mark, my boyfriend of two years, chirped in.

“Alright, big guy, time for bed, mommy needs to get back to work.”

“Hey, Mark.” I paused, rubbing my neck as I waited for his reply.

“I am here, babe.” He responded a few seconds later, “Thank you.” I said, truly grateful for his assistance, not just tonight, but for the past two years.

“I will come pick you up, just call me when you are done. Bye!”

“Bye.” The call ended in a beep, and I tossed my phone back in my bag, swallowing the lump in my throat.

For five years, I have lived with the only good thing that came out of my relationship with Jaxon.

Riley, my son.

And now fate has chosen to be cruel to me, bringing him back into my life, not just as anyone, but as my boss.

Five years, and somehow, his voice still knew exactly how to get to me.

I bit my cheek, hating him, and the fact that he still has that effect on me. The memories flooded before I could stop it, the look in his eyes each time he saw me, the warmth of his hand brushing mine, the night I gave my virginity to him… my stomach twisted painfully.

“Stop it, Lou,” I muttered under my breath, reminding myself that those memories were false, none of it was real, because if it were, then I wouldn't have ended up in the crowded hallway, my self-respect and dignity bleeding out, while the boy I trusted said nothing.

I closed my eyes, heaving a deep breath and steadying myself with a sigh. With that, I moved out of the dressing room, heading back to the stage.

The spotlights hit me the moment I stepped on stage, and I welcomed it, because right here, I wasn't Lou, I was Raven, and Raven has no feelings or aching past.

The music began, and I let wrap and sink into my body as I moved in a controlled rhythm, every move was calculated, every glance intentional.

The crowd responded almost immediately, some trying to reach out, some devouring me with their eyes, and others throwing their money at me.

I kept my distance, ignoring it all as I focused on my movement against the pole, dancing until the music ended.

As soon as I was done, I moved off the stage, only to see Vito running towards me, a big smile on his face. “Raven, back in Mr. Ryder's suite. He's paid for a session with you.”

Vito's words made my stomach churn painfully, “Get to work.” He said, before disappearing into the vastness of the club.

I stood under the neon lights, my chest heavy with duty. I wanted to ignore Vito's words and return to the dressing room to retire for the night.

But this was my job, and the only hope I have in securing my grandmother the best treatment.

I shouldn’t have come back, and that thought clung to my skin as I walked back into the suite, closing the door behind me.

Once again, I was alone with him, Jaxon…No, Mr. Ryder.

I forced my spine straight, fixing my max to appear as professional as I could. Right now, being Raven and getting the job done is all that matters.

Except Jaxon was no ordinary client, but my nemesis, the bane of my existence, and that was the problem.

I stepped forward, expecting instructions from him, so I could begin, but he didn’t speak; he simply watched, and it made my skin burn.

“Begin.” He commanded, and I responded with the ultimate reminder. “And don't touch.”

The soft rhythm of the music filled the background as I moved forward. My steps were slow as I closed the distance between us, standing right in front of him, close enough to feel the heat radiating off his body, maybe too close.

My fingers settled lightly on his shoulders, the contact hitting me like a shock. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, forcing myself to keep moving, to stay in rhythm, to stay detached.

“Lou.” He called softly, my name rolling off his tongue like the old times.

“It's Raven, and I am working, My Ryder,” I said as I lowered myself onto his lap. Everything in me tightened, while his body went rigid beneath me, as though he was holding back. His hands clenched at his sides, not touching me, not daring to…

I could feel it, the tension rising between us, it left me utterly irritated at myself. I shouldn't feel these things, I should be professional, I should be Raven, not Lou, not the girl he once used and ruined.

I lifted my eyes to his face, that was my mistake, his eyes captured my soul, reaching into my mind to bring back memories I had forced down long ago.

I looked away, shutting it down immediately, not here, not ever. My movements faltered, just slightly, but I regained myself, keeping my composed mask on.

I still had a long night, especially if Jaxon chooses to be the bastard he has always been.

Still, I remained consistent, even though it grew harder to ignore him, noticing the way his breathing changed, the way his control slipped just enough to remind me that I still affected him.

That realization twisted something deep inside me. This was something more than just satisfaction.

By the time music stopped, my chest was heaving faster than it should have been. I backed up to catch my breath and mentally prepared myself for Jaxon’s next request.

My gaze traveled down to avoid his gaze, but instead, I found myself staring at the bulge in his pants.

“I believe you are satisfied, Mr. Ryder. Your session is over.” I announced, and for a moment, Jaxon looked dazed.

“My work is done for tonight.”

“You are leaving?” He asked, rising from the couch. “Let me drop you off.”

I scoffed, irritation seizing up my skin, “Thank you, Mr Ryder, but my boyfriend is pretty much capable of that.” I dropped the bombshell and didn't fail to catch Jaxon's eyes going dark.

Smirking, I strode towards the door, “Goodnight, Mr Ryder.”