CHAPTER 34

"Wait a second." Mike looked at the collection of items on the table. He could almost see it now, if he were to rearrange the items. Curtains, a blanket, pillows, even a set of clothes. "This looks almost like a bedroom set."

"Oh!" Beth stood up and moved to a different position along the table. "I think you're right. Look at the colors on the pillows, they match the drapes. There's a small blanket that matches as well. Still..." she picked up a broken watch. "I'm not certain what's going on with the junk drawer vibe."

"Seriously, look at all these pens." Mike grabbed the stack on his side of the table. Some of the pens had business names on them, and a couple even still had chains attached. Jenny, active now, was busy building a mock log cabin out of them on the corner of the table. "So, we've got a bedroom set and someone's trash pile."

"And their piggy bank," Yuki announced, picking up a quarter. There was a bunch of loose change scattered through the boxes, and they all had a small stack in front of them. "Might be enough to order a pizza later."

"Tink wants pineapple," the goblin declared, and both Yuki and Beth groaned.

"So... if we have the contents of a room, and someone's belongings..." Mike lifted his eyes to the ceiling.

"Then perhaps somebody is actually inside that box." Beth finished. "But what?"

"Tink have bad feeling about box." The goblin slid off her chair and picked up her hammer.

"Yuki? Still not getting anything?"

"No. It's weird, because the box is clearly magical, but I'm not detecting anything off of it." Yuki squinted at the box suspiciously. "I get an angry feeling just by looking at it. It feels... wrong, somehow."

"Okay, then I guess the real question is how should we open it?"

The moment the words were out of his mouth, the box fell straight down, landing neatly in front of Mike. It had been taped shut with multiple layers of packing tape. He tried to pick up the box, but it was extremely heavy.

"Um..." he looked at Beth. "Who has the box cutter?"

"It's under the blanket." Yuki pulled the blanket off of the table, and neatly caught the box cutter before it could hit the floor. "Here."

"Sure you don't want to do the honors?" he asked, taking the cutters.

"No, thanks." The room was already growing cold, and frost had begun to accumulate on the table in front of her, and she held up one hand to reveal that her fingertips were now claws. "I need to be ready."

"Aw, geez." He touched the blade to the tape on the box and paused. His gut would tell him if something meant him harm, and right now, he felt fine. The tension in the room was palpable, and when he slid the razor blade through the tape, he could tell that everybody was holding their breath.

He expected something to burst out, jack in the box style, or even a burst of fire, lightning, or smoke as he opened a portal to another dimension. Instead, the box sat there, waiting for him to peel back the flap.

"That was anticlimactic." He lifted the flap and looked inside.

"Well?" Beth asked.

"It's... it's..." He looked up at her. "A door handle."

"And?"

"That's it." He stuck his hand inside and pulled the piece of metal out. "There's nothing else in the box." He grabbed the box and shook it with his spare hand. It wasn't even heavy anymore.

"That doesn't make sense." Beth came to his side and looked in the box. "None of this makes sense."

"Why would Emily pack up a—" The handle became hot and leapt from his hand, then blew a hole through the wall, taking chunks of plaster with it.

"Shit!" Everyone stood up and rushed to the front room. The handle was spinning wildly around the room and bouncing off of the walls with a heavy clang.

Yuki summoned up a barrier of ice for them to hide behind, and the handle clanged off of it several times before launching itself into the office.

"Death!" He didn't know if the grim reaper could be hurt by such a thing, but he had given up on logical assumptions weeks ago. "Heads up!"

They all ran to the office, and Mike leaned around the corner. Death sat calmly at his table, his cup of tea in one hand and his pot in the other as he tilted his skull to watch the flight path of the door handle.

"Mike Radley, what is this strange device? It is acting—" the metal handle struck Death's teapot, shattering it and spraying tea everywhere. Covered in what smelled like chamomile, the grim reaper rose, fire burning deep within his eye sockets.

"I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice." Death's voice was little more than a hiss, and he pulled his cowl up and tilted his head from side to side, the bones popping within.

"Death, be careful!" Mike hollered. He half expected the specter to summon his scythe and slash the handle in half, or cast it straight into Hell.

"I do not need to be careful, Mike Radley." Death passed around the table, and the door handle ricocheted harmlessly off of his skull. He stopped briefly at the doorway to appraise everyone. "I am simply going to make myself some more tea."

"But... I thought... you sounded so mad."

"I am angry, Mike Radley. I now have to make my tea one cup at a time, and that is quite annoying." Death passed by all of them, and Yuki snorted, her hand over her mouth.

"What did he say?" Beth asked.

"Nothing important."

They watched the handle bounce around some more, knocking books off the shelves and scattering Death's maps around the room. Suddenly, it halted in midair and glowed red hot, showering the floor with sparks.