CHAPTER 149

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Jenny announced. You suck at this game.

War said nothing, but Beth saw that the veins in his neck bulged dramatically. He tapped his sword on the ground, then growled in frustration.

"What are you playing at, Raggedy Anne?" He looked up around. "You mad that nobody ever loved you?"

My little girl grew up to be a complete whore. Jenny giggled. She was your mom.

This actually made Famine burst into laughter. It quickly became a belly laugh, and Famine wiped some tears from his eyes.

"Oh, she's trying to go so hard on you," he cried. "Stupid girl doesn't even know that we don't have a mother."

That's what the angels told you so you wouldn't feel sad. Jenny's voice was behind them now. Just you wait, fat-ass. I have something special planned for you.

"Whatever you say." He sat on a couch that appeared behind him and pulled popcorn out of the air. Beth recalled a particularly bloody confrontation Reggie had with War where Famine had pulled out a charcuterie board and feasted on cheese and apple slices as the two of them leveled a city.

Pestilence buzzed something at Jenny.

Nobody cares what you have to say, she replied in a sweet voice. You're just a bag of farts.

The sun set on Kamchatka, and all hell broke loose. As the shadows grew longer, War's troops disappeared at an exponential rate. Once the disappearances had been noticed, gunfire erupted as they tried to fight an enemy they couldn't see. War had his soldiers set up a base at the foot of a hill and trained spotlights on the surrounding area. Instead of chasing away whatever hid in the shadows, it just revealed a landscape soaked in blood.

"What the fuck is this?" War, just as baffled as his troops, ordered them to form up on the perimeter wall of their base. Shadows flitted about, but the soldiers were unable to catch one properly in the light.

As I lay me down to sleep, Jenny began.

"Fuck off!" War replied.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep. The shadows moved so abruptly now that they left large dust trails behind them that blew across the base like fog. And when you die because you suck...

"Shut up!" War was so angry he hopped over the walls of the base and charged at the shadows. He swung his sword at them, creating a commotion that drew everyone's attention. In the span of an instant, the lights at the base went out and the soldiers left behind screamed in agony. An explosion rocked the structure, and Beth caught a brief glimpse of twisted beings that disappeared into the darkness, beings made of teeth and knives.

I'll find your mom and then we'll fuck.

War was the only one left. He yelled at the sky, but the shadows avoided him. Despite his shouting, the shadows left him to seethe.

"What is she playing at?" Famine leaned forward on his couch.

Now quit being a bitch and find me! Jenny giggled. When you do, I'll put you out of your misery.

"This has to be against the rules!" War turned to Murray. "She can't make me find her, this territory is huge and she's just a doll!"

All is fair in love and war, Jenny replied. And I love playing games with you!

Murray stared at the scene below, then nodded.

"These are the terms you agreed to," he stated. "You would play a game of conquest where you were able to fully participate. At any point, you may choose to stop playing, but that would be equivalent to forfeit on the part of the player."

"But this isn't conquest, it's fucking hide and seek!"

Aw, are you gonna cry? Jenny giggled. You can quit if you want.

"And if she's hiding, why can I hear her?" War swung around, squinting in the darkness. "Does that mean she's nearby?"

"Her ability to speak doesn't affect gameplay," Murray said. "She doesn't have lips, and so I allowed her to use her psychic abilities for communication purposes.

War hollered illegibly and threw his sword before storming off. A couple of hours passed before Jenny started singing nursery rhymes in a discordant manner that set Beth on edge.

"I can't believe we have to sit through this shit," muttered Famine. "Hey, angel! Since it's obvious already that she won this round, would it be okay if we helped find her? It doesn't technically affect gameplay, right?"

Murray went wall-eyed for a moment, then nodded.

"It would be permitted," he informed them.

"C'mon." Famine rose from his couch and looked at Pestilence. "Let's find the little bitch so that we can move on."

Beth looked at Reggie and let out a sigh. "Should we go find somewhere quiet to sit? It could be a while."

The rat king looked at her with quivering whiskers, then let out a hearty laugh.

"Why would I stay?" he asked. "I'm not technically playing anymore, remember?"

With a flash of light, Reggie was gone. Beth's jaw dropped open at the ramifications of his statement, then looked across the dark hills of Kamchatka. How long would Jenny make the horsemen look for her? Had this been her plan the whole time? Already, she could hear War absolutely losing his shit in frustration. The horsemen were capable of many things, but apparently, patience wasn't one of them.

With a grin, Beth willed herself back into space.

"I would have expected the entrance to Hell to be bigger," Eulalie said, staring at the wrought-iron gate behind the house.

"It goes to the Underworld, not Hell." Amymone had her face in one of the books from the Library. It was a primer on dimensional folding. "And I'm not seeing a damn thing in here about reconnecting it."

"Not without Mike." Naia pouted on top of her fountain.

It was late at night. Suly had escorted Cyrus back to his apartment to get a change of clothes and spend the night there. While the mage was gone, Eulalie had come over to the house to speak with the others. The rats had set up a perimeter around the house with instructions to chase off anyone who came snooping.