CHAPTER 212

Just how sharp was this thing? Famine had bent the top bar of the scale around the mace, which meant that the metal itself couldn't be invincible. She placed the hook over the bent metal rod and gave the sword a good yank.

Nothing happened at first. She pulled a couple more times as Famine loomed over her, his fingertips glowing with a dark energy that had her gasping for air.

She wasn't sure if the fall came before or after, but the sword yanked free as the hook severed the metal loop holding the mace. It rocketed forward, smashing into Famine and making him drop Tick Tock. The mimic sprouted legs that slashed into Famine's tendons, sending the horseman to the ground.

The mace and the mimic reduced Famine to a bloody mess, the horseman thrashing about. War came running over, but was tripped by Lily's tail as she appeared next to him.

"Did you know there is no "i" in war?" she asked, then gouged out his other eye with her tail. War cried out in pain and pushed himself to his feet, then ran out into the mist.

A dark energy crushed Beth from above, and Murray descended from the sky. His body was covered in golden light as he came between them, the dick of Osiris pointed at her chest. In the fog, Cerberus yelped in pain and a heavy pressure filled the air as Mehkhkahrel hovered ominously overhead.

"Enough!" Murray opened his mouth to say something else, but choked when Suly's thorny whip wrapped around his throat and yanked him backward. The golden light traveled down the bone whip and burned along Suly's skin.

"I ain't one of yers," Suly growled as his skin sizzled. "Yer magic means little to the fae!"

"You... all... are... dead!" Murray's eyes were triumphant as a chorus of voices cried out from above. Mehkhkahrel's wings were spinning as the air filled with golden light. "You just... don't..."

Mike screamed, his body tense with rage as he directed his wrath at the angel. When his voice left him, it transformed into shards of blue light that ripped through the air and tore chunks out of Mehkhkahrel's wings. The angel's spell was disrupted, and it turned its attention toward Mike. Golden light built up behind Mehkhkahrel and it unleashed its magic.

Mike's voice tunneled into the light, and a protective barrier made of floating motes of light whirled around him. Bits of Mehkhkahrel's magic struck the barrier and pushed Mike back, but the blue light surrounding him coalesced into six spectral legs that spread wide behind him to prevent him from succumbing to the blast.

A feminine figure clutched him from behind, both of her hands resting directly over his heart and her legs around his waist. Mike paused to take a breath, and then let out a cry that surpassed any frequency Beth could hear. The air rippled as the phantom woman held Mike in place, her legs bracing him against the onslaught of magic. He put his hands over hers, clutching tightly at something just under the fabric of his shirt.

Murray was stunned by the sight developing before him. Beth took advantage of the distraction and brought the sword up and into Murray's wand hand.

She had been hoping to cut the magic dick in half. Somehow, she had managed to slice through his fingers. The golden light appeared and caught his digits before they hit the ground, but not before the dick of Osiris was smacked into the air.

"No!" Murray backhanded Beth, knocking her down. He flew beneath the magic dick, his dark eyes following its trajectory.

"Tick Tock!" Beth stuck out her hand and the backpack leapt to her side, the empty nylon loop now in reach. She grabbed onto the mimic and said a little prayer. "Sausage party!"

When she threw Tick Tock at Murray, the mimic's flaps opened and launched several objects into the air. There were plates and knives, and even a few books. Those were just meant to be a visual distraction, because Tick Tock also spat out every single rubber dildo that Beth owned.

It had been a stupid idea, one that Lily had teased her about, but Beth had wondered more than once if they could swap something from her collection for Murray's pride and joy. At a glance, she recognized each and every one of them. They had been part of her most intimate moments, she had agonized over which ones to buy on the internet for hours. If she had to, she could identify them with her eyes closed.

And right now, the one she wanted was headed her way.

Murray looked confused as he was pelted by several dicks at once. He snatched one out of the air and flew up out of reach. As he spun around, he leveled the cock at her.

The words he spoke tore through the air, and the tip of the cock emitted a bright yellow light as it powered up. When he finished his incantation, he pointed the cock at Beth and then flinched when it exploded in a mass of sticky goo.

"What?" He held up the remains of the dark blue cock and squinted at it. "What is this?"

"It was the Delightful Dragon," Beth told him as she held up Osiris' cock. She had grabbed it out of the air. "You've got to start small and work your way up."

Murray let out a scream of rage and held his hands out. Malevolent energy crackled along his fingertips.

"Fireball, motherfucker!" Beth channeled the energy through Osiris' cock and was blasted backward as a ten-foot wide fireball erupted from its head. It crashed into Murray and knocked him out of the sky.

"Beth!" Lily pulled Beth to her feet. "Romeo isn't going to last!"

Mike was on his knees now, energy crackling around him as the angel won out. Yuki had joined the fray, summoning a stream of magic that absorbed some of the impact, but she was gasping for air as her arms trembled.