CHAPTER 79

"You didn't look too sure of yourself after I fell," Beth said in an angry tone.

Lily shrugged. "I would have kissed your boo-boos."

"I'm asking Sofia to make you angel food cake."

"Ooh, hurt me more." Lily's coat disappeared, but she kept the pipe. "Whatever will I do if I'm forced to eat a fucking cake?"

"We'll sing you Happy Birthday," Beth continued. "And add all those stupid fucking verses at the end."

"Ugh, fine, I'm sorry." Lily tossed the pipe into the shadows, where it disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Anything but listening to Happy Birthday fan-fiction."

Beth took a moment to survey the basement with her flashlight. There were dark stains on the walls and floors, and frost had formed around the doorway to the Vault. Along the opposite side of the room, the mysterious scarab room appeared empty.

It took her a moment to realize that the dark stains were actually moving. The one closest to her shifted toward her feet, but then shrank away when Lily's tail took a stab at it.

"Probably shouldn't touch those," Lily said. "Give you an STD."

Beth mulled over the acronym. "Shadow transmitted disease?"

"And they say lawyers are dumb." Lily chased the shadows away with her tail, then stood before the door of the Vault. "So enlighten me, I've never come down here. This is supposed to close up?"

"Yeah. You draw a chalk outline to open the door, then it just vanishes when you close it."

"Looks like your magic door is out of power." Lily tried to pull it shut, but it didn't seal. She pushed the door back open and peered inside. "Okay, yeah, this place is terrible. It's like a clearance-sale for cursed objects."

"You can sense them?"

Lily smirked. "More like I can feel them hiding from me. Most of what's in here know better than to tangle with a soul-eating demon. Some stuff is just dangerous to have. For example, do you see that folding fan over there?"

Beth leaned in to the doorway and pointed her flashlight. It settled on a decorative fan with a picture of a Japanese man painting on a blank canvas.

"What's that do?" she asked.

"It steals faces." Lily summoned a fan of her own, then waved it over her face. Her head was now featureless, with only a pair of holes for breathing.

"Who the fuck invents a fan that does that?" Beth asked.

Lily snapped the fan shut and her face reappeared. "It wasn't meant to. You ever see those mask-changing acts? Was supposed to do that, but the enchantment broke. Now it only takes."

"You can tell all that from here? How?"

"I recognize it. When you are chained to the world's most knowledgeable bastard, you hear about these things. Even handling it could cause you to accidentally suck your own face right off. I bet a lot of stuff in here is like that. Too dangerous to let out, but no safe way to dispose of it."

Beth frowned. If there was this much stuff down here, how would they keep the house safe until the Vault could be closed?

"So what do you think is missing?" Lily asked. "I'm guessing something escaped."

"The only person who might know is—" Beth groaned. "It's Tink. She came down here because I bet she suspected that the Vault was open."

"And she's the only one who would know what got out. Clever." Lily looked around the room. "Do you think we could ask Jenny?"

"Good luck getting her to come down here. She hates this place." Beth raised the beam of light to Jenny's former prison and paused. "Ratu wanted me to keep that thing safe," she said, indicating the vial. "I should probably get it out."

"Allow me." Lily walked through the room, shrinking her body down to fit between the overstuffed shelves. Once on the other side of the room, she opened the glass case and pulled out the vial. "This your demon spunk?" she asked.

"If that's what we're calling it, then yes." Beth heard whispering in her ear. She looked over at the corner where the painting was stored. It had been tilted toward the door, and the cloth covering had come partially undone. "Ugh, no thanks."

Lily chuckled and tucked the vial into her cleavage. "I think the locals are getting restless. Maybe we should—"

There was a ripping sound, and the air behind Lily turned black. Dozens of shadowy hands wrapped around her and pulled, causing her to vanish into the void.

"Lily!" Beth took a step into the Vault and stalled. The whispering was even louder now, and she froze in place as several objects in the room started moving. A creepy Elvis bobblehead doll rotated to look at her, and she jumped when a rocking chair slid toward her from across the room.

"Lily, where are you?" Beth shined the beam around. The whispering was grating at her nerves now, and she could hear Lily's voice echoing from different corners of the room. It sounded like she was fighting with something.

There was a rasping noise behind her of metal on metal, and Beth's gut filled with ice. She turned to see a fencing foil slide across the shelves and then hover in the air. It rotated in place, then shot across the room at her.

She threw herself back and out of the Vault. The foil shot through the air and bounced off the far wall of the basement. It clattered to the floor, then lifted itself up again.

"Lily?!?" Beth looked at the stairs. If she ran up them, would she get caught in the loop again? If the sword chased her, her miserable last minutes would be spent running up an infinite number of stairs.