CHAPTER 78

"What are you doing?" Beth asked.

"Isn't this what you wear to fight the monster in the basement?" Lily stuck out her tongue, and Beth laughed. It helped lighten her mood immensely, and she pulled out her phone to snap a picture. Maybe she would make a photo book of how fucked up her week had been and look at it fondly while being absolutely tanked on wine.

They opened the door and stared at the looming darkness. The bottom of the stairs wasn't visible, so Beth went to get a flashlight from the kitchen. When she returned, she clicked the light on and sighed.

"I don't remember this many steps," she said.

"Nope." Lily looked at Beth, then took the colander off her head and threw it down the stairs. They could hear the colander crashing against the concrete steps for quite some time before it finally went quiet.

"I hate this." Beth started down the stairs, but Lily grabbed her by the shoulder and stepped ahead.

"I can take a punch far better than you can." She winked at Beth. "And a bullet, a knife, a back-handed compliment..."

Beth playfully kicked at the succubus, and then the two of them started their descent. The house wall, which usually terminated only a couple of feet down, continued onward as if it had been stretched out to accommodate the new length of the stairs. After they had gone down for a minute, Beth turned to look back and frowned at how tiny the basement door looked.

"We're gonna have to climb back up these stairs," she mentioned. "At what point do we decide this is a bad idea?"

"When something tries to eat us."

"That's not very funny," Beth replied.

"And I'm not laughing." Lily looked over her shoulder. "Can you feel that shift in pressure? That's nothing friendly."

Beth shivered. Maybe she should have brought someone else with them, but who?

"Also keep in mind that Tink was down here unconscious. Kisa brought her back not that long ago, so this is new. If something is putting together a trap for us, it's probably tired."

"It almost sounds like you're trying to make me feel better."

"Is it working?"

Beth nodded. "A bit."

"Good." They kept going for a few more minutes before something shiny reflected the light from the flashlight. It was the colander, now covered in dents.

"Well, at least Sofia can make us pasta when she gets back," Beth quipped. "Maybe if you're good, I'll convince her to make you some devil's food cake."

"Now you're trying to make me feel better." Lily picked up the colander and studied it.

"Is it working?" Beth asked.

Lily shrugged. "I haven't decided yet." She threw the colander down into the darkness and then put her hands on her hips. After several seconds of metallic clattering, it stopped once more.

"How far do you think that was?" Beth asked.

"Too far." Lily started walking again, and Beth followed. After several more minutes, they eventually found the colander on the stairs again. This time, Beth picked it up.

"I'm starting to think that going any further is a bad idea," she said, then turned her gaze toward the top of the stairs. The tiny square of light up at the kitchen was barely visible.

"What's eighty-two minus thirteen?" Lily asked, her face suddenly frantic. She grabbed onto Beth's arms. "Quick, it's important!"

"What? I—" Beth concentrated on trying to do the math in her head, then screamed when Lily pushed her backwards. Terrified, she tried to catch herself against the wall but stumbled and fell.

Tick Tock broke her fall, but the wind was knocked out of her lungs when she found herself lying on the cold, hard floor of the basement. Gasping for air, she rolled over and coughed a few times. Her breath turned into fog with each exhale.

"What the hell did you just do?" she asked, then turned toward the stairs. Lily had her arms crossed and stood on the bottom step.

"So, if I did that correctly, you should be in the basement." A look of concern crossed Lily's face. "If not...I'm really sorry."

"Of course, I'm in the basement." Beth shined the light in Lily's face. The beam also illuminated the stairwell, which now appeared normal. "How did you know that would work?"

"Beth?" Lily winced without recognition, then took a step forward. She vanished and reappeared at the top of the stairs. "Romeo is going to be so pissed at me if I accidentally killed you."

Puzzled, Beth waited for Lily to descend the stairs, then watched as she vanished and reappeared up top again. When Lily made it down to the last step this time, Beth reached out and grabbed her by the arm, then pulled.

There was a soft pop as Lily stepped onto the basement floor. She smiled when she saw Beth.

"Explain." Beth held the light in Lily's face, causing her to squint.

"Both times we threw the colander, we found it two-hundred and fifty-six steps later. I started counting when we started, demons are good at stuff like that." Lily gestured at the steps. "The odds that it would do that twice were exceedingly small. Why stop at all? I threw it way harder the second time. The house does weird shit, but an infinite stairwell? It's way easier to manipulate the space you're given, but even that has limits. Just some illusion magic coupled with reality warping."

"The math problem was to distract me?"

"Uses a different part of the brain, which weakens the illusion's hold. When I pushed you back, you were looking at me and the doorway. It couldn't teleport you up top, and it couldn't alter the doorway, so you fell out of the loop." A smoking jacket and a pipe appeared on Lily, and she took a deep puff and blew out a smoke ring. "Elementary magic theory."