Chapter 2: Next Steps

My body felt heavy, my throat dry and my stomach flipped upside down as I come to and slowly realise what I had previously seen and experienced . I opened my eyes and sit up as I notice I am sat in a hospital bed. My bag lay beside me, the steady beep of a monitor to my right. The noise outside my ward was deafening. People rushing up and down the hospital corridors, doctors alongside hospital beds being wheeled from one room to another, children screaming and parents crying. The realisation hit me that my parents were gone and everyone else I knew probably gone along side them, I felt numb, I wanted to cry but my eyes were dry, I wanted to scream but no one would hear me anyway, what was the point. I detach the monitor and grab my bag then head for the door, hanging my head low and trying to separate myself from the chaos around me, my footsteps quickening with each step. Once outside I take a deep breath in and close my eyes... where to now.

And this is where I am at now. My bag packed on my back, my walking boots on, a light loose tank top and some shorts on. I have a jumper in my bag, some water and a supply of canned foods along with some fresh fruit and bread, I have my passport, wallet and my phone along with my sketch pad and some pencils.

I managed to make my way to a ferry port in Dover Kent, with a number of lifts from passerbyers that were generous enough to help me out. Ide heard lots of horror stories about hitchhiking and people being killed and so on but for some reason I felt like nothing mattered anymore, if someone were to take my life, maybe I would be better off dead than alive anyway.

The war had broken out all over England, some towns still intact while other like London, up in flames. People were either locking themselves at home pretending nothing was happening while other going stir crazy in their homes, riots filled streets and police and ambulance sirens filled the air. I managed to listen to snippets on the radio when in people's cars, learning that this was just the begging, people were robbing and breaking into shops, vandalising properties and making crimes after crimes.

"One ticket to Calais please" I say to the front desk as I tap my card and receive a rectangular price of paper stating my next destination. There were lots of people boarding but not as much as I thought there would be. I guess if war were to break out then people wouldn't have a clue were would be safe or not to go so would rather stay at home and wish for the best.

The ferry was long, not long enough though. The peace and quiet of the ocean was like a dream, no fumes no smoke or fire, no loud noises or people screaming, just a ferry full of people so shook that they had lost their voice and train of thought.

I wish this would last forever, this feeling of peace but no moment sooner am I again filled with the heavy sounds of panic and anxiety. I We reach the ferry docks and I step out onto land. Calais I thought doesn't look too disimula to the coast of England, only it's architectures more beautiful and holds more kept history... not that I know much about history, I just like to draw it.

The town didn't seem affected by the war, yet. But it's streets were still eerily quiet, almost as if people had either deserted the area or like they were hiding away in their homes praying they wouldn't be next.

I don't blame them, if my parents were still alive, I probably would be hiding out at their place also praying and hoping to come out of this alive but unfortunately that is not the case.

I dig my heels in and swallow hard, if I am to keep going then I need to toughen up a bit more. My whole life I've it easy. My parents paid for everything for me, my car, my rent, my schooling, even clothes and food once ide left home. I worked in florist once finishing art school, not for the money but just because I enjoyed it and took keep my mind and body busy. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life before and had no idea of what profession I wanted to take. All I knew was that I liked flowers and art but no particular other paths stuck out to me so I just carried on living my quiet little life with the few friends and family I had. Looking back on it all, I wish I had done something to help for this war, help other families or people that were in crisis. Well not much I can do now about it, I'm now the one in crisis.

As I walk further and further through the town of Calais, I eventually reach the outskirts, houses and building getting smaller, more farm houses placed on the land and fields cover the ground. I notice some footpaths scattered here and there, all heading in different directions. I do eeny meeny miny now and pick one, later laughing at myself at how childish and stupid I must look. I grab either side of my ruck sack and place of foot in front of the other. Let's see where this path will go.