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We Shouldn't Be Doing This...
Date de publication:
2026-04-30 17:01:19
Dernier chapitre
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LucianWe spoke at length and minutes later, the phone call ended and I was hard.That was the simple truth of it. I lay on my bed with my phone still in my hand and my body was already responding. I had not even done anything. I had just talked to her. Just listened to her voice on the other end of the line. But that was enough, that was always enough.I set the phone down on the nightstand and looked at the ceiling as I tried to calm down. I tried to think about something else. Hockey...homework..the field trip. Anything except Bonnie. But it was no use. She was everywhere. In my head...In my chest...In the space between my legs that was already aching for her.I sat up and pulled off my shirt. The air was cool against my skin as I unbuckled my belt then I unbuttoned my jeans, pushed them down and kicked them off. I was wearing boxers. They were already tight, already straining against the shape of me.I looked down at myself.
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MarcellusI could not sit still.The dinner had been unbearable. Watching Bonnie across the table, watching her smile at her phone, watching her laugh at something that boy had sent her and the worse of all? Watching her ignore me like I did not exist.I had wanted to reach across the table and grab her. I had wanted to pull her away from that phone and remind her who she belonged to. But I could not. Her mother was there and she was watching even though she was oblivious to everything that was happening right in front of her.I excused myself after dinner saying I had work to do. I went to the guest room and closed the door. Then I sat on the edge of the bed and I stared at the wall.The jealousy was eating me alive.I thought about Bonnie. About the way she had looked at me in the kitchen the morning before, the way she had let me touch her, the way she had said my name like it meant something. And then I thought abo
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BonnieI woke up from my nap if not sleep because it was a new day already. Saturday finally.The room was dim and the sun was rising outside my window. I had fallen asleep after school without meaning to. My body was heavy and my mind was groggy. I blinked and stretched and tried to remember how the day before had gone.Then I remembered.Lucian...the locker room. The way his hands had felt on my skin. The way he had said I love you. The way he had looked at me like I was the only person in the world.I sat up in bed and smiled stupidly. I was smiling before I even knew why. The sun was streaming through my curtains, the birds were singing outside my window and the world felt fresh and new and full of possibilities. I had just woken up from a nap but I felt more alive than I had in weeks.I screamed. A happy scream. A scream that came from somewhere deep inside me. Then I clapped my hands over my mouth and giggled. I w
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Lucian"Someone is in a good mood."Jensen's voice cut through the noise of the locker room. He was grinning at me from across the bench. His gear was half off and his hair was sticking up in every direction, he looked like he had just fought a bear and won.I shrugged. "I am always in a good mood.""No you are not. You are usually brooding. You are the broodingest person I know.""The broodingest is not a word.""It is now. I invented it. Just for you."I pulled my jersey over my head and tossed it into my bag. My chest was still slick with sweat and the air in the locker room was thick and warm as the smell of chlorine and deodorant and teenage boys filled my lungs. I did not mind it. It was familiar and surprisingly comfortable."Seriously though," Jensen said as h leaned closer then his voice dropped. "What happened? You have been smiling all practice. That is weird. You never smile during."
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BonnieThe hallway was empty as most students had gone home. The ones who remained were either in the gym or the library or the parking lot. I had told Bianca I needed to go to the bathroom and she had nodded and said she would wait by the front steps. But I did not go to the bathroom. I walked toward the hockey wing... towards the locker room... towards Lucian.I had seen him earlier. He was in the hallway between sixth and seventh period and he looked tired. His hair was messier than usual and his eyes had that distant look that meant he was thinking about something he did not want to talk about. I had wanted to ask him what was wrong. But the bell rang and he walked away and technically I did not follow.But now I was following.The hockey locker room was at the end of the hall. The door was heavy and It had a sign that said players only.Well, I pushed it open anyway.Lucian was sitting on a bench in the middle of t
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BonnieI could not look at myself in the mirror.There I was standing in the bathroom with my hands on the sink and my head down. The tiles were white and the lights were too bright. A girl I did not know was washing her hands next to me. She glanced at me once and then looked away.I did not blame her. I could not look at myself either.My mother's bed. I had let him touch me in my mother's bed. On the sheets where she slept, where she dreamed about her wedding and her future and the man she thought loved her.What was wrong with me?I was a terrible daughter. In fact the worst daughter. The kind of daughter other mothers warned their children about. I had done things I could never take back. I had let him do things I could never undo. And I kept going back. Kept letting him touch me. Kept telling myself it would be the last time.But it was never the last time.I turned on the faucet and splashed col
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MarcellusBonnie was shaking. Not the kind of shaking that came from cold. The kind that came from shock and from adrenaline and from the body's desperate attempt to process something the mind could not accept. She sat on the bathroom floor with her knees pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped a
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BonnieThe bathroom door locked behind me with a click that echoed off the tiles.I leaned against it and pressed my back to the wood then tried to remember how to breathe. My chest was tight. My throat was tight. Everything was tight like someone had wrapped a wire around my ribs and was pulling a
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MarcellusI noticed she was not in third period.That was the first red flag. Bonnie never missed my class. Even when she was sick. Even when she was exhausted. Even when she could barely keep her eyes open.Today her seat was empty.I asked the class. "Does anyone know where Miss Voss is?"Shrugs
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BonnieI noticed he watched me go. He was already a finished boy. My finished boy.Or whatever that was."See?" she whispered. "You are a natural.""I am a disaster.""Same thing."Soon Lucian caught up with us anyways."We need to fix ourselves," he said. "We look like we have been rolling around
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