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Chapter 16
Slipping into the kitchen was one thing. Having a fucking clue what she was after was another.
Derek’s intensity seemed to follow her throughout her tiny studio apartment, even there. It was like he knew he was working her up.
How could he know that, she chided herself.
It was complete nonsense… It was… well, it was everything. It set her entire being on fire, alight with anticipation that maybe there could be something there to chase. She’d never felt like that before; never allowed herself to. But… fuck, she whined to herself. A heads up that she’d find him one day would have been nice and a note, maybe, that he was going to be a fucking house would have been great. At least then she’d have someone to imagine each time she felt like this.
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Asking how he destroyed the shower would have at least taken the pressure to function off of her, but oddly, Derek’s entirely too discrete movements were ruining her.She was going to die…It was all in the way he stood, carefully in her space that told her all she had to know about what he did. It certainly had nothing to do with what she did.“I’ve only got one strainer,” Aislyn supplied, finally upright. “I guess I should get another, so you have one too,” she babbled before facing him.Aislyn hoped the small talk would at least give her an idea of his status here in her apartment, where she found it more and more acceptable that he’d just stay.
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Aislyn waited patiently as she recorded the new content and whatever else was chasing her around in her feelings. It had to have been hours that went by because not only her charge was flashing, ready for shut down, but even her stomach rumbled too. Aislyn groaned at the prospect of having to get up to face the hypothetical music but if she didn’t get moving now, she wouldn’t have enough time for content adjustments later. Being in the booth meant that she’d have time to work on this, uninterrupted; without having to be caught up in her feelings about her now, very complicated, life. Leaving the apartment would be hard though, she decided while she wondered what packlife meant. Honestly, Aislyn just assumed that Derek just wanted to be with her and after being alone for so long, having something like that be offered,
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Aislyn retreated back into her mind while guiding the bass through the mellow rhythm of her heart. There really was no reason to get caught up with the others on her feelings. It was just better to focus on getting it out through self expression and that was it. She explored lonely nights where she was alone after her wolf left her and crowded her mind with hushed undertones and softly spoken words that were only hers to bear… unrepeatable hymns that promised she was less than alright, missing someone very dear to her. And still her lips caressed the overused fabric of her mic as she imagined speaking into his fur. It was so personal, raw… damaging and all the while she’d let it record. Track after track managed to come through, until the flash of an orange light on her board summoned her away from continuing.
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It was hard enough to live it but telling them how she practically threw herself at him was relieving. “Woah…” Micha replied, unable to think or give much else in response. “That was pretty ballsy,” Candice added. “I know. And I just feel like I’m all over the place right now…” “But you’re still dreaming of being surrounded by him,” Micha said, waving over Aislyn’s program. Aislyn shivered at the thought. “Covered is more like it,” she groaned as the women exchanged their shock. “Good,” Micha sna
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The bass dropped hard as Aislyn swallowed. She did her best to look around the room, hoping Derek wasn’t there in the crowd suddenly. She didn’t want him to think that she’d take just anyone’s attention. It was all but a day difference between then and now and watching Micha made her heart pound harshly in her chest. Micha slid her body, her back to his front suggestively. Her left arm snaked up behind her, dragging her glitter up the side of him. Aislyn groaned at the sight of her wrapping her arm around the back of his neck then, making him curve himself against her. Unlike Derek, Micha’s choice allowed her to pull his arm around her and settle his palm widely across her soft belly. Her hips swayed suggestively from side to side until he complied. It was hard to look away from the clearly possessive way he responded to her friend, but as his other hand slid over the curve of her hip
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Aislyn watched as Earl left, shouldering his way through the crowd that climbed the stairs after them. At the sound of the click she punched the button beside the wall for the deadlock to brace itself to the reinforcement there. When Candice’s mother ran this club she pulled out all of the stops and tonight, Aislyn couldn’t have been more thankful. Potential candidates for her attention seemed to find the booth from the floor while the Alpha of the Silverbacks slipped out of view. Aislyn lowered her eyes away from them in yet another apology for even trying. Not a second more did she realize herself. The flashiness of her costume, how willingly she went along with this to hope to be Derek’s little… It was all so depressingly sad. Aislyn backed up from the window and collected her clothes from the chair beside her. Her
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Aislyn stood quickly, crossing the room to hit the button and release the door. As she pushed it outward to let her friends in, Micha was the first to rush in. “Oh my Gods, Aislyn,” she huffed. “Are you okay?” Micha was dressed in her skinny jeans and green halter top from yesterday that smelled heavily of cocoa butter and mint which was just enough of a zap to her senses to wake up further. “Yeah?” she sighed. “Micha,” Candice scowled. “Give her some space. She’s been up here all night. The last thing she probably needs is someone in her face.” If she could have, she would have spoken up against what Candice
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It wasn’t a question, however, that he’d heard Micha. It was one that he didn’t hear her, or at least that’s what she suggested to herself… and while it hurt her too, speaking up for the sake of him regardless of their situation still hurt immensely. He didn’t come for her. She wasn’t his Little, like Micha said. They were in two very different worlds and maybe it just needed to stay that way.“Do you think you’re going to be alright tonight?” Candice’s voice softly wedged itself between Aislyn and her thoughts. “Ais?”Aislyn took a deep breath before answering. “I’ll be alright. I think I just nee
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