No More Running

The silence between us is suffocating. The study is silent, save for the sound of the waves crashing in the distance, but even that is muted under the weight of Alaric's anger and my growing guilt. I already knew if Alaric ever found out, it would be devastating, but I did not know he would take it this hard.

I cannot bring myself to meet his gaze. His stare is too raw, the pain and reflected in his eyes too potent, and with every passing second, the study only feels more suffocating.

"Kyra." Alaric finally says. His voice is quieter now but no less demanding. "Explain it to me in a way I can understand... I need you to do that."

I swallow hard, my hands trembling in my lap. I owe Alaric an explanation, he deserves that much, but the words are stuck in my throat. I clench my hands into fists, forcing myself to breathe.

"I..." My voice breaks. "I was scared, Alaric. I didn't know what to do."

Alaric's jaw tightens and he exhales sharply. Everyone is seated now, including Cedric, the weight of what they have discovered may have just been that heavy. "Scared of what? Me? Did you think I would hurt you?"

"I..." I trail off, shaking my head slowly. "Not like that."

"Then what?" He asks me, his expression unreadable. "You were really going to take my child and disappear, weren't you?"

He puts my deepest fears into words with such ease that I flinch. I know how it sounds. Selfish... heartless, but that wasn't it. I was just trying to survive, trying to keep a piece of myself when everything else was slipping out of my control.

"I didn't want to be trapped." I admit quietly. "And more than that, I didn't want to be a burden you had to carry because of the child."

Alaric's brows furrow slightly, his anger is now overpowered by something else. "A burden?" He echoes, like the idea itself is absurd. "Is that what you think you are to me?"

I don't answer. Because yes, I do think that.

"Kyra," Cedric finally speaks up again. "You do realize how insane this sounds right? You know the Lycan population is dwindling and Lycans are hunted for their bloodline and their abilities. Yet you planned to raise the child alone? Knowing damn well Alaric would never stop looking for you?"

I shift uncomfortably. Cedric's words have me questioning my judgement. My child would be Lycan, he/she would need to be raised amongst those of the same kind to be well protected from the many enemies. Could I have protected my child from everything all by myself? When I can barely keep my own self safe?

A moment ago, if the fire elemental had succeeded, I would already be dead and I would have taken my child with me.

"I was... trying to do what was best." I murmur quietly.

"For who?" Cedric asks. "For the baby? Or for yourself?"

His words sting but before I can respond, Alaric lifts a hand to silence Cedric.

"I get it now." Alaric says quietly. "You were afraid that once the child is born, I won't need you anymore."

The truth is like a harsh slap across my face. "That's not..." I start to argue but my voice falters.

I expect Alaric to look triumphant at being right but he doesn't, instead he looks... pained.

"Kyra," He exhales, "I know my actions so far are nothing to be proud of, and it justifies why you think so little of me. But let me make one thing clear..." He holds my gaze. "This isn't just about the baby...it never was."

I shake my head, unwilling to believe in something I know cannot be true. "This all started with Top's bargain. It would have come to an end one day or the next... thankfully, you wanted no part in it and it ended sooner." I say, "This is what it was meant to be."

Alaric stares at me for a long moment before straightening. "You do not get to decide that anymore, Kyra."

I look up at him in surprise.

"I don't care why or how this all started... what I care about is what it is now." He continues. "I will not be a stranger to my own child... and I will not let you shut me out of your life either."

"It doesn't matter now." I murmur. "I've made my choice."

Alaric leans forward on his seat, his presence overwhelming. "No, Kyra." He says firmly. "You made a mistake... and I will not let you make another one."

"I just declared before hundreds that you're my woman. I did that without even knowing of the baby... because I made up my mind then, that I won't let you go this time." He makes it clear.

I swallow hard, my throat tight. I lift my gaze to his and my breath catches at the sheer determination in his eyes.

"But I will not force you to be with me, if you do not want to. I will only make it clear at this moment that I want you, Kyra Amber Holloway...not for a quick tumble beneath the sheets, or as a cure for mania."

"I want your heart, your soul, your body and everything that makes you...you. I want you to be mine...but that is your decision to make."

"What we're not going to do is pretend that this didn't happen. We're not going to go back to the way things were before and you don't get to shut me out of my child's life just because you're afraid of what comes next."

"We're not going to do this your way...or my way." Alaric says. "We're doing this the only way that we can."

I shift warily, staring over at Alaric. "And that is..."

Alaric gaze stays locked on mine. "A truce. You stay... I stay, and we figure this out. Together."

The words settle between us, thick with tension. I don't trust this, I don't trust him. But I also know that no matter what I say, no matter how much I resist...my child deserves better.

And I cannot run from this anymore...