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I Am Not Your Keyword
I Am Not Your Keyword
Penulis: Quinn Loves Cilantro

Chapter 1

Penulis: Quinn Loves Cilantro
My calm response must have tipped off that something was wrong, because Harrison Evans lowered his voice and started offering excuses.

"Things were crazy busy this afternoon, and my phone battery died before I could charge it."

That had been his go-to excuse for the past three months. If I hadn't seen the truth with my own eyes, I would still have been kept in the dark.

"Okay," I hummed.

His voice was brimming with worry. "How are your injuries? Is it serious?"

I glanced up at the clock. It was 7:40 PM—eight full hours after I had tried calling him.

I snapped a photo of my leg, wrapped tightly in a thick plaster cast, and sent it to him. It was a comminuted fracture.

Harrison looked at it, but he didn't bother asking any more questions. Instead, he sent back a few photos of blooming crabapple blossoms.

"They're all in full bloom," he marveled. "Looks like an ocean of pink. It's breathtaking."

I stared at the images. "Is Charleston really that much fun?"

Was it fun enough for him to make the trek four times in a single month? Fun enough to send me the same photos four times, captured from the same angle with the same composition? He couldn't even be bothered to put any effort into lying to me.

Harrison paused, caught off guard by my question.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice." He hesitated before adding evasively, "To be honest, it was half vacation and half helping out a friend."

I didn't bother asking who this friend was. I knew he wouldn't tell me. Besides, I already knew the answer: it was his ex-girlfriend.

Aurora Dalton had just updated her Instagram feed. She was wearing flawless makeup, posing under the blooming crabapple trees.

Whoever took the photo must have cared for her deeply; they had snapped the shutter at the precise moment when the sunlight hit her just right.

It was nothing like the pictures Harrison took of me, where my face was blurry in nine out of ten shots. Whenever I complained, he would just give me a helpless smile.

"That's just how straight guys take pictures."

Looking at the post, I finally got it. It wasn't that he didn't know how to take a good picture. It was just that he didn't care about the person in front of his lens.

Taking my lingering silence as fatigue, he suggested softly, "Get some rest. I'll head back first thing tomorrow morning."

"Okay," I said before hanging up.

Then I opened Aurora's feed, filled with her gushing happiness.

[Master's Degree Unlocked! Made the back-and-forth trip four times this past month, but I was lucky enough to have someone by my side helping me out every step of the way. So grateful!]

She made four trips, and Harrison accompanied her every time. Meanwhile, he hadn't shown an ounce of concern for our wedding attire, venues, or decorations.

My head throbbed with a dull ache, and the heavy plaster cast pinched tight around my fractured leg. After I called the vendor to cancel the wedding venue, I tossed and turned until two in the morning before finally drifting off to sleep.

When I woke up, Harrison was already back.

He was in the kitchen simmering chicken soup, and when he saw me open my eyes, he walked over and gently touched my face. "How did you get into a car accident?"

I stayed quiet for a long moment, then stared up at him. "I was out and saw someone I knew, but I couldn't catch up to them."

Harrison just gave a casual response. "Well, be more careful next time."

He didn't ask where I had been or who I was trying to catch. Because he didn't care.

My round-trip Amtrak ticket to Charleston was sitting right there in plain view on the entry table, but he couldn't even be bothered to look at it.

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  • I Am Not Your Keyword   Chapter 7

    "You're nothing but a loser to me, so why act all high and mighty?" Aurora hissed. "Do you honestly think doing this will make you two last? It won't! As long as I'm around, you will never last.""I know." I shrugged. "That's why I kicked him to the curb. Instead, I wish you two a long and happy life together."By then, our roles had reversed. She became the anxious performer trapped in the drama, while I became an indifferent bystander."What do you want from him?" she demanded, her voice cracked. "You're so completely unremarkable. I don't understand why he keeps chasing after you."I stood up to leave, speaking lazily over my shoulder. "Maybe he's just the type of guy who can never get over his ex."Unconvinced, she chased after me. "Wait! Show me your phone. You're still flirting with him, aren't you?""Are you out of your mind?" I snapped, shoving her away."I turned down a job offer in Korulville just to move here for him!" she shrieked. "He can't treat me like this!"I p

  • I Am Not Your Keyword   Chapter 6

    The only reason they had gotten along so well these past few months was the cheap thrill of doing something forbidden and the novelty of seeing each other again after years apart.If they got back together, it wouldn't take a month before everything blew up in their faces again. They had broken up so many times before, and every time had ended in a nightmare.Harrison had no desire to repeat history. "Don't you get it? We can't stand being around each other for long."Aurora's blissful fantasy was shattered, her voice turning cold."What is that supposed to mean?""I don't want to be with you.""Then what were these past few weeks about? All that concern, taking care of me... wasn't that out of love? Why are you lying to yourself? You and Cindy are over! She's not right for you anyway. How am I supposed to just accept this?""Shut up!" Harrison roared, slamming his phone onto the floor with a loud crack.The voice on the other end cut off abruptly....The next day, Harrison

  • I Am Not Your Keyword   Chapter 5

    Harrison frantically darted from room to room, but after searching every corner of the apartment, there was still no trace of me.That was when he finally noticed how empty the place felt. Half of our shared belongings were gone. Without missing a beat, he dialed my number.I let it ring three full times before slowly picking up. His trembling voice came through, though he tried his best to sound natural."Cindy, where are you?""I went home.""This is your home.""I canceled the venue and the wedding. We're done."A sudden wave of panic seemed to hit him, and I could hear his rapid, restless pacing through the speaker."You're being impulsive! We're about to get married!"He practically roared the last words, as if he cared about the wedding.Exhaustion washed over me, and my voice dropped to a murmur. "Drop the act. Wouldn't it be easier to just be honest for once?"Harrison choked on his breath, his voice suddenly sounding distant."What are you talking about?""Last mo

  • I Am Not Your Keyword   Chapter 4

    Someone in the know muttered immediately, "You've had one too many drinks. This is Harrison's fiancée."The guy's expression flickered with instant embarrassment as he apologized. "My bad. Stupid mistake."I gave a faint smile. "It's fine."Aurora let out a laugh right on cue. It was short, sharp, and dripping with contempt, as if mocking me for living in denial.I turned to her and asked softly, "Care to share what's so funny?"Aurora hadn't expected me to call her out so directly. Her fake smile almost slipped. "I wasn't laughing. Cindy, aren't you being a little overly sensitive?""Is that so?" I scoffed. "When you sent my fiancé a picture of yourself in a skimpy bikini yesterday, was I just being overly sensitive then, too?"In an instant, the entire room dropped dead silent.Aurora's face went ashen. She slumped onto the table as tears welled up, looking every bit the pathetic victim.Harrison's expression turned thunderous. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me out into the

  • I Am Not Your Keyword   Chapter 3

    After dropping Aurora off, Harrison rushed to explain, "Don't take it to heart. She just loves making jokes.""Do you even remember you're getting married?" I asked bluntly.Harrison's face darkened slightly, and he fell silent. I turned to look out the window, my mind drifting back.Harrison and Aurora used to be the quintessential golden couple. Back in college, they were star students who did debate together, won competitions together, and traveled together.But they were both too stubborn, caught in an endless cycle of fighting, making up, and fighting again. By the time they graduated, real-world pressures drove them to break up.Harrison wept as if his whole world had collapsed. I had never seen a grown man break down like that, so I got off the bus and pulled my beanie over his head.I ran off before he could react, and we didn't cross paths again until more than a year later. Exchanging numbers felt natural, and eventually, we started dating.Everything was calm and swee

  • I Am Not Your Keyword   Chapter 2

    My eyes stung with hot tears as I grabbed my crutches and maneuvered myself out of bed.After a quick trip to the bathroom to wash up, I limped over to the dining table, unscrewed the insulated food jar full of homemade chicken soup, and began ladling some into a bowl."Don't drink that!" Harrison rushed into the dining room, his voice cracking with panic.I froze, my hands hovering in mid-air. "This isn't for me?"He let out a strained hum. "A friend at work is down with a bad cold, so I made it for them."He caught himself and forced a quick smile. "I mean... if you really want some, go ahead."Despite his smile, the reluctance in his tone was impossible to hide. Without a word, I looked down at my heavy plaster cast and set the bowl back down.Harrison immediately screwed the lid back onto the thermos and packed up a few side dishes. Only after everything was packed did he finally turn his attention back to me."What do you feel like eating? I can whip up some pasta for you.

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