Chapter 1

It took me a moment to snap out of it as I stared at Noah Barrett's lips, which had not moved at all. I had been reborn and returned to the day before my first attempt to escape the mountains with Noah.

Instinctively, I folded the unfinished map in my hands. Noah tugged at my sleeve.

"Mom, why did you stop drawing?"

His inner voice, however, slithered into my ears like a venomous snake. "I wanted to wait until Mom finished so I could show it to Grandma. As long as Grandma knows, she'll give me candy."

In that instant, I clenched my fist. The frostbitten skin on the back of my hand split open from the force, bright blood blooming through the cracks. In my previous life, I was kidnapped during my junior year of college and sold into a remote mountain region before I was forced to become Liam Barrett's wife.

During the day, Ruth Whitaker tied me up with coarse rope and locked me in the woodshed, treating me like livestock. At night, Liam, who was worse than a wild beast, pinned me to the dirt floor of the shed and acted upon his lust.

When I became pregnant, I bled so badly that I nearly lost my life, yet I was still forced to give birth to this child. To escape, I learned how to please, how to submit, and how to be obedient.

It had been six years; six full years had passed before Ruth finally let her guard down even a little.

I foolishly believed that Noah, who carried my blood, would eventually stand on my side.

Every time I planned an escape, I brought him with me. Again and again, I told him about the world beyond the mountains. There were tall buildings, warmth, and real life waiting for us.

I even imagined taking him with me toward a new beginning. But three escapes ended in three failures.

The last time, Ruth beat me to death with a shovel in the pigpen. Now, after hearing Noah's inner thoughts, I finally understood a few things.

The reason why every carefully planned route was always blocked, why the sleeping pills never worked, and why the mountain cave where I hid might as well not have existed. It turned out that every struggle I made was put to rest by the very flesh and blood torn from my own body.

As the memory of being beaten to death with a shovel surged back, my blood seemed to stop flowing in my veins.

This boy was rotten to the core.

"Mom?" Noah tugged at my sleeve again, continuing, "Hurry up and draw. Didn't you say that once the route was done, you'd take me and run away?"

I forced down the hatred boiling inside me and pulled my lips into a hollow smile. "I'm not drawing anymore. We're not leaving."

"Really?" His eyes lit up instantly, his voice bursting with exaggerated joy. "Mom, you're really not leaving?"

"Yes." I reached out and stroked his icy cheek. My fingers trembled uncontrollably. "Noah, you're Mom's whole world."

He immediately threw himself into my arms, rubbing his small face against my chest as he cheered, "That's great! I want to stay with Mom forever!"

Beneath that sweet, childish voice, the vile thoughts rang out clearly.

"Grandma was right. Mom was to work herself to the bone for us. Dad said if Mom ran again, he'd break her legs. Good thing Mom is obedient now."

I closed my eyes, hearing the grinding sound of my own teeth. This was the child I carried for ten months and nearly died giving birth to—rotten from the inside out, steeped in such ignorance and malice that the heights of these mountains pale in comparison.

Later that night, I brought him a cup of milk and watched him drink it in small, careful sips. After he fell asleep, I stood by the edge of the heated bed, staring at his innocent, defenseless face.

My dear son… In my past life, you traded my life for a few pieces of candy. In this life, you can wallow in these soul-draining, blood-sucking mountains forever.

I no longer wanted you.