I Learned How to Enjoy Being Alone

The dates on the screen began cycling from three years ago.

The first year, Sophie leaned against Shane's shoulder. The second, he put a Mickey headband on her. The third, beneath the fireworks, he lowered his head and kissed her forehead.

So every year I'd been disappointed, she'd been given some grand celebration.

The fireworks were still beautiful, but I didn't make a wish this time.

Wishes didn't come true once you said them out loud.

And the only wish I had left was to leave him.

...

After the fireworks ended, the crowd surged toward the exits.

Sophie hugged the huge bouquet of roses to her chest. Her face was flushed with fever, but she still couldn't bear to let anyone else hold the flowers.

Shane pulled her shawl more securely around her shoulders.

"Let's go to First Aid and get your temperature checked."

Sophie spoke softly. "But Wendy hasn't taken any pictures yet. Didn't she want one in front of the castle too?"

Only then did Shane look at me.

It was as if he'd finally remembered whose anniversary tonight was supposed to be.

"Do you want one?"

I looked at him.

He was still holding Sophie's phone, the screen frozen on the photo they'd just taken beneath the fireworks. So this was the final picture in their third-anniversary route.

So the day she'd been waiting so long for had started long before today.

I shook my head.

"No."

Shane frowned.

"What's wrong now?"

Sophie coughed twice, her fingers tightening around his sleeve.

"Shane, is Wendy mad? Maybe I should just go home. I shouldn't have come."

She started to push the roses into my arms.

Shane immediately stopped her.

"You're running a fever. Don't make things harder on yourself."

Then he turned to me. "Wendy Mercer, quit looking so upset. She's not feeling well. Just think of today as helping her fulfill a dream."

"What about my dream?"

The words slipped out before I could stop them, startling even me.

Shane paused too.

Then, a moment later, he laughed.

"Aren't you the one who never believes in any of this fairy-tale stuff? Why are you suddenly begrudging her a princess fantasy today?"

I tried to turn my face away.

But as my gaze dropped, it happened to catch the hem of Sophie's dress.

Mr. Carter and Ms. Lane.

My throat suddenly felt painfully tight.

When Shane saw that I wasn't answering, he reached out and pulled me to his side.

"Okay, okay. Don't be like that. Once she gets her temperature checked, I'll go buy you that popcorn bucket you mentioned earlier."

I froze.

I'd only looked at that popcorn bucket a couple of times while we passed the stand.

At the time, Shane had been looking down at his phone, replying to Sophie's messages. I'd thought he hadn't noticed at all.

But somehow, he'd remembered.

My heart had just begun to soften when Sophie suddenly swayed.

Shane let go of me almost instinctively and caught her around the waist.

"Sophie?"

"I'm fine. I'm just a little cold."

Shane took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. Then he took the hot cocoa from my hand, put the straw in, and held it to her lips.

"Drink a little."

I looked down at my empty hand.

He'd waited fifteen minutes in line for that hot cocoa.

Lightly sweetened and warm, not too hot.

When he'd handed it to me, he'd even said, "Your stomach's sensitive. Don't drink anything cold."

Now Sophie bit down lightly on the straw and said in a soft voice, "It's just the right sweetness."

Shane ruffled her hair.

"Don't you always drink it this sweet?"

My hands slowly went cold.

So someone else had been getting the same sweetness I'd had for four years.

At First Aid, the nurse said Sophie had a low-grade fever and shouldn't stay out in the wind.

Shane immediately told the driver to bring the car around to the nearest exit.

I followed behind them, still holding the cupcake I'd paid less than two dollars for. It had already been crushed out of shape.

When we reached the car, Sophie naturally opened the front passenger door.

Shane raised a hand to protect her head as she got in, the gesture far too practiced to look like the first time.

I stood beside the car.

He glanced back at me, his tone noticeably flatter.

"You can sit in the back. Sophie gets carsick."

The back seat was piled with her roses, headband, shawl, and the third-anniversary gift box.

I climbed in with my cupcake on my lap, and one of the rose stems jabbed my knee.

Shane noticed through the rearview mirror and reached back to move the flowers.

But Sophie gently pressed a hand over the bouquet.

"Don't crush them. Shane spent a long time preparing these for me."

His hand stopped in midair.

Then he withdrew it.

"Wendy, move over a little."

Outside the window, the last of the castle fireworks were still fading from the sky.

I lowered my head and opened my phone.

Three minutes earlier, Sophie had made a post.

[Third year. Finally got the last photo.]

The picture showed Shane holding the roses for her while fireworks burst overhead.

Someone commented:

[This looks way too much like a proposal.]

Sophie replied with a shy emoji.

Shane didn't explain.

I opened an airline app and stared at the screen for a long time.

Then I bought a one-way ticket to Southvale for three days later.

There were no castles there.

And no Shane Carter.