Not Fuckable

Derek's mouth crashed against hers before she could react. He was kissing her roughly, roughly trying to pull her clothes off her her. 

Audrey immediately fought back, shoving against his chest, but he was stronger. Her injured wrist sent a sharp bolt of pain through her arm every time she struggled.

She was filled with disgust. She had always longed for moments like this when Derek wanted her. For years, she had wanted him to look at her the way a husband should look at his wife. She had begged for his attention, begged for scraps of affection, begged for him to choose her.

He never did.

And now, after shattering her heart beyond repair, after humiliating her with Regina, he suddenly thought he could touch her whenever he wanted. He now had the audacity to try and force himself on her.

The irony was enough to make her sick.

Rage mixed with disgust consumed her and she dodged the next kiss, turning her head away from him. "What the hell, Derek? Get the fuck off me!" She screamed at him, struggling to break free from his tight hold.

"Stay still," Derek growled impatiently as his lips captured hers again, his rough hands already forcefully removing her clothes.

Audrey couldn't believe that this was the same man she had once yearned for. Once upon a time, she would have given anything for his attention. Now the thought of him touching her made her want to throw up.

Summoning every ounce of strength she had, she shoved him again and this time she managed to get him off her. She immediately put distance between them.

"What do you think you're doing?!" she yelled at him, giving him a dirty glare.

Derek stared at her as though she had lost her mind. "What do you mean?" He looked genuinely confused and he sounded annoyed. "Why are you acting like this?"

Then he took a step toward her. "I'm finally giving you what you've always begged for. Sex. Plus, it's our wedding anniversary. Isn't it normal for a husband to make love to his wife?"

A broken, bitter laugh escaped her. "Oh, so you remember it's our anniversary? I thought I was the only one left in this marriage."

Derek frowned, his expression twisted with irritation. "What are you talking about? What is wrong with you today?"

A thousand responses fought to escape her mouth. She wanted to scream. Wanted to ask him how long he had been sleeping with Regina. Wanted to ask if he had ever loved her at all.

But suddenly she felt exhausted. There was no point. There was no point arguing with a worthless bastard like Derek.

So instead Audrey inhaled slowly and forced herself to remain calm. "I'll be sleeping in the guest room." Then she turned away. "Good night, Derek."

She barely made it two steps before he grabbed her arm. And the next thing she knew, he was trying to force another kiss on her.

This time something inside her snapped. She shoved him away and without hesitation, her right palm collided with his cheek, landing a heavy slap across his face.

The sound of the slap echoed through the room, leaving both of them frozen. For a second, Audrey stared at her own hand in shock.

She had just slapped Derek Lockwood. Then she looked at his face, and a wave of satisfaction washed over her.

Derek's face was a mix of shock and disbelief. And God, was it satisfying for Audrey. For years he had looked at her like she was a piece of gum stuck under his shoe. Now he looked at her, horrified.

"I don't want to have sex with you, Derek. Not in this lifetime anymore."

The shock on his face lasted for a moment, before a smug smile took over. Derek sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "This is why you're such a miserable bitch. This is exactly why I can't bring myself to fuck you anymore."

His words made her heart clench painfully in a familiar way. It was the same pain she had felt with she walked into that hotel room and saw him in bed with her best friend. 

But this time, instead of sadness, the hurt transformed into anger. "What did you just say to me?"

Derek stepped closer in a threatening way, "You heard me right Audrey." His lips curved into a cruel smirk. "You're not fuckable, Audrey. Fucking you is like fucking a log of wood."

For a moment, she couldn't breathe. The words sliced through her like a knife. And he saw the pain. She knew he did because she could see it in the satisfaction shining in his eyes. He wanted to hurt her. Wanted her to break. Wanted her to cry. But Audrey was done giving him that satisfaction.

So instead, she smiled a slow, sarcastic smile. "Derek."

His expression shifted. "What?"

She leaned slightly closer and lowered her voice dramatically, "Should I tell you a secret I've kept for years?"

Confusion crossed his face. "What secret?"

Audrey's smile widened. "I haven't orgasmed in three years."

It took several seconds before the meaning of her words registered, and when they did, the smug look vanished from Derek's face, replaced by pure shock. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

Audrey almost laughed. "You are so terrible at it that I have to touch myself afterward." She shrugged. "So don't think too highly of yourself."

The look on his face was priceless.

She didn't stay to hear his response, she turned on her heel, marched down the hallway and headed straight for the guest bedroom.

The moment she stepped inside, she slammed the door shut and leaned against it. Her chest rose and fell rapidly.

That should have felt good. Standing up to Derek should have felt empowering and victorious. Instead, she felt empty. Because no matter what she said, she still couldn't erase the image burned into her memory.

Her husband and her best friend tangled up together in bed. 

Her eyes stung and when she remembered the cruel words he had thrown at her, the pain in her heart deepened.

This was the man she had sacrificed everything for. Her family. Her future. She had walked away from it all so she could be with him. And this was how he repaid her.